father having second marriage

Ali R.A was going to marry Abu Jahal's daughter. The key word "Abu Jahal". The enemy of Prophet Muhammed Sallahu Allahe Wasallam. Therefore kindly shut your big mouth about the history of Islam if you don't know any. Secondly, your fatwa isn't valid and hold no position in respective of the evidence given by Retaliator. Lastly, there is a hadith:

It is narrated on the authority of Abu Abdullah Jafar Al-Sadiq: A miserable of the miserables came to Fatima, the daughter of the Messenger of Allah, and said to her: “Did you not know that Ali proposed to marry (Khataba) the daughter of Abu Jahl?” She said: “Is it true what you say? He said three times: “What I say is true.” Jealousy entered into her (heart) to an extent she could not control, for Allah has ordained that women be jealous and that men perform Jihad, and He has made the reward of the patient (woman) similar to that of the Murabit and Muhajir in the way of Allah.

We are polygamous by nature and that is true. However, about 1% of us would think of marrying second time anyway. As men, we understand our responsibilities and love our one and only wife which is practical. Second marriage is a choice not a necessity.

There is no need to be so rude and disrespectful.

Re: father having second marriage

i want to know what PROTECTION is. what TAKING CARE is. what HURTING is.

if protection is, i repeat "hanging around a woman so that she feels secure" or "or that she doesnt feel scared of sleeping in the darkness at night" then i see a lot of selfishness on the part of any women who thinks so. my definition of PROTECTION is "being with the woman whenever she needs u there to get those things done which she cannot do alone".

That's your definition of taking care physically! What about the emotional/psychological needs of women? What about in sickness and in health? Or does that only apply to where these sick minded people seem to 'think' they are getting the affection from? Usually, involves a cheating/lying man who is busy elsewhere giving/receiving affection to have this kind of attitude and not one who realises that he has to answer to Allah (SWT) and will be raised with half his body if he is unjust to his wife by deceiving and distributing his love elsewhere. If you'r not happy/in love/don't get affection then get out of the damn shamless marriage, after all why earn more guna/sin by living a LIE? The poor woman (wife) can get PROTECTION by your definition of the word through police/neighbours and i.e, a passer by can help her lift the shopping that she cannot life ALONE!

if HURTING is "leaving a woman when u think u cannot cope with her cuz of her attitude or anything or u r too needy n want more affection and (not just fulfillment of sexual desires, as zarra08 may think)" then again i see a lot of selfishness in our women. my definition of NOT HURTING IS "if u have two wives or children from two wives u must show ur affection towards them in such a way that neither would think they are inferior to the other. and that u dont tell a woman that u r remarrying cuz shes a hopeless case n u respect her and love her for what she is and let her know in a good way what she lacks n what u want to have"

Ha ha ha! So, THE GRASS IS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE! Problem with people like that is they are busy having fun and pretending to be NEEDY and neglecting their kids/wife's needs in the process of pursuing 'the love of their life'! Shame on these men for giving grief to these poor women/inoncent children. Inshallah each shall be held accountable on the day of judgement, people can deceive each other by saying wife was selfish/had an attitude but at the end of the day its the man with an attitude as he wants to have his wife/kids as well as the 'person that is the love/lust of his life'. Why put the poor wife/kids through this misery? Release the poor woman so she too can find happiness! Or does that hurt his ego? To know that there maybe someone better out there for his wife?

i want to reiterate that polygamy is not as bad as we, the hindu minded people think it is. and instead of as rightly felt by zarra08 "heading for brothels and girl colleges" one shud go for the 100% pure n clean option of remarrying. n not just for s. desires but even if u wish for more children. more affection. want to support another woman. etc etc.

These kind of people would do well to support the family they already have before contemplating on ruining another woman's life and creating messed up children so that the society has to suffer the consequences. Children from unstable family life have a tendency to turn to crime/drugs. They go out looking for love/attention that their father was busy distributing elsewhere!

by no means am saying that every guy out there shud remarry whenever he gets the slightest feeling that his life is not heading the way it shud b. i am saying if one cannot compromise on diff things or control his desires then he shud remarry. n women and the children and relatives and neighbours and friends of that person shud not consider it all that bad whenever such a thing happens.

The only person to benefit from this aproach would be the selfish man marrying for LUST as you put it and putting the strain on society. Islam talks about controlling the nafs/desires.

and not all ppl remarry for lust. and not all women for money or glamor. everyone needs here love n affection. everyone shud get it.

**^ very well said 'everyone needs love and affection', the poor wife should get this love even if it means remarrying and getting away from this jerk of a husband who wants to remarry at the drop of a hat!

** I really do hope that women learn to stand up to these jerks and express themselves rather than becoming submissive. Or even worse subdued under the banner of Islam into believing that they are doing good......meanwhile the husband don't even fulfill the rights of Allah by praying or giving zakat! We are living in the times of when ignorance is prevailing over religious matters and this is one of those matters where the non-practising muslim men seem to think they have the upper hand!

I think its the men who seem to fail to realise their own weaknesses and they think that they are the best spouses/fathers and fail to do nothing about fixing the problems they have created in the marriage. Instead they go out and try all over again with someone else thinking that they deserve a fresh start and the wife/kids deserve to suffer because of this selfish attitude! Shame on these selfish jerks!

Why dont YOU show me where it is stated that marriage is not for protection? Why dont you show me that multiple marriages are for satisfying males needs? Why dont you show me where it states that multiple marriages are not for protection.

Please provide references to the exact hadis. Please do...

It's not about being narrow minded... I am ok with polygamy as long as the parties invloved have no objection.

Chill BB!
i m also saying that remarriages are for giving protection BUT not ONLY for giving protection. neither i am saying that its for ONLY for male needs. polygamy is for multiple purposes.

yea throw your faults on others.. typical female attitude.

*That's your definition of taking care physically! What about the emotional/psychological needs of women? *

theres nothing definite as emotional and psychological needs. these are created by women themselves n shud learn to cope with em instead of enforcing their attitudes on the world.

What about in sickness and in health?
Do i need to enlist every responsiblity of a husband??? picking up children from school etc.

*Or does that only apply to where these sick minded people seem to 'think' they are getting the affection from? *

u are equally sick minded to judge all the people as such..

*Usually, involves a cheating/lying man who is busy elsewhere giving/receiving affection to have this kind of attitude and not one who realises that he has to answer to Allah (SWT) and will be raised with half his body if he is unjust to his wife by deceiving and distributing his love elsewhere. *

yes u r god's secretary. u can see right thru everyone.

If you'r not happy/in love/don't get affection then get out of the damn shamless marriage, after all why earn more guna/sin by living a LIE? The poor woman (wife) can get PROTECTION by your definition of the word through police/neighbours and i.e, a passer by can help her lift the shopping that she cannot life ALONE!

agreed. lieing has to be done cuz u women are not understanding. whenever a man raises the issue of remarrying hes tagged as a playboy. the whole society loathes him.

*Ha ha ha! So, THE GRASS IS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE! Problem with people like that is they are busy having fun and pretending to be NEEDY and neglecting their kids/wife's needs in the process of pursuing 'the love of their life'! *

yea men hav no right to have a peace of mind in their lives. on coming home after working their arses at work they shud be greated with never ending complaints of their spouses.

*Shame on these men for giving grief to these poor women/inoncent children. Inshallah each shall be held accountable on the day of judgement, people can deceive each other by saying wife was selfish/had an attitude but at the end of the day its the man with an attitude as he wants to have his wife/kids as well as the 'person that is the love/lust of his life'. *

yea screw these bloody jerks.

Why put the poor wife/kids through this misery? Release the poor woman so she too can find happiness! Or does that hurt his ego? To know that there maybe someone better out there for his wife?

kids get the suffering from both ends. they are lead to believe that their father is evil n is going for lust etc. etc. by mothers like u zarra08. n the poor kids then have to see their non-understanding mom wailing and crying and going hysterical instead and not understanding the root cause of the problem.

These kind of people would do well to support the family they already have before contemplating on ruining another woman's life and creating messed up children so that the society has to suffer the consequences. Children from unstable family life have a tendency to turn to crime/drugs. They go out looking for love/attention that their father was busy distributing elsewhere!

yea children trun smtime turn to what u ve written just cuz of the emotional drama that a women stages blaming out the OTHER WOMAN. and the husband who is many times having a hard time with the woman.

The only person to benefit from this aproach would be the selfish man marrying for LUST as you put it and putting the strain on society. Islam talks about controlling the nafs/desires.

again wrong. what about the molvi hazraat who get the ppl married. the mathai walas and the beauty parlors where the OTHER women get dresses.

I really do hope that women learn to stand up to these jerks and express themselves rather than becoming submissive. Or even worse subdued under the banner of Islam into believing that they are doing good......meanwhile the husband don't even fulfill the rights of Allah by praying or giving zakat! We are living in the times of when ignorance is prevailing over religious matters and this is one of those matters where the non-practising muslim men seem to think they have the upper hand!

you shud go over to that village in India where theres a festival in which women beat husbands with brooms cuz thats how you think all men are meant to be treated.

you need to relax. poor u. u seem to have been bitten by sm incident involving "that jerk of a man". cuz everything you say revolves around lust n glamor n glitz. n for once i will agree with u. cuz there are some men like u defined. but FOR THE HUNDREDTH TIME LISTEN GIRL everyones not alike. :)

these Jerks are the one who rise up to the surface cuz the are abs besharam n dont care what the society thinks of them. :) as far as innocent men are concerned they simply cannot turn to polygamy cuz of how it is perceived in our society n would lead all their poor lives coming home to wives that wud treat them like ****.

hahahahaha now that you have no legitimate references your telling me to chill?

who's BB...

lol chill out there retaliator.... ur typing is a bit off...

.... Im officially done with this thread....

bye.

so am i with u. bye BB.

*That's your definition of taking care physically! What about the emotional/psychological needs of women? *

theres nothing definite as emotional and psychological needs. these are created by women themselves n shud learn to cope with em instead of enforcing their attitudes on the world.

Ah! excuse me whose the one enforcing their attitudes/needs/desires on the world? The man for wanting to fulfill his sexual/emotional need for love/affection/lust!He should learn to cope with em instead of traumatising his family/inoncent kids and putting a strain on society! PURE GREED ON HIS BEHALF AND DAMN THE WOMAN FOR WANTING A BIT OF TLC!
**
What about in sickness and in health?**
Do i need to enlist every responsiblity of a husband??? picking up children from school etc.

So, in your own words taking care in sickness requires doing the school run! That is your parental responsibility towards the children and not to the wife! You really need to get out of that paindoo/backward mentaility,cuz even paindoo men tend to nurse their wives back to health rather than using the lame excuses you give!

Ha ha ha! How selfish eh? Like men are the only ones created with emotional/psychological needs which involve taking another wife to satisfy those urges of well as you put it love and affecction/needs. People with this attitude need to get a life and respect the needs of their spouse!

yea children trun smtime turn to what u ve written just cuz of the emotional drama that a women stages blaming out the OTHER WOMAN. and the husband who is many times having a hard time with the woman.

LOL, its the husbands DRAMA to have the other SLUT that the children witness and see their mothers being emotionally blackmailed and physically battered day in day out and turn to crime etc. The husband has a choice to divorce the woman, why doesn't he? If he hates her so much, can't bear her, has to lie to her, whilst yearning for this other IDEAL WOMAN when he is with her?BE A MAN AND DO THE DECENT THING! GET OUT OF HER LIFE! EVEN A SNAKE WOULD LEAVE THE VICTIM ALONE AFTER TAKING A BITE!

again wrong. what about the molvi hazraat who get the ppl married. the mathai walas and the beauty parlors where the OTHER women get dresses.

Again distributing the wife/children's rightful haq to anyone and everyone to please that IDEAL WOMAN! Its all done to get access to her em......so who benefits the man of course!

you need to relax. poor u. u seem to have been bitten by sm incident involving "that jerk of a man". cuz everything you say revolves around lust n glamor n glitz. n for once i will agree with u. cuz there are some men like u defined. but FOR THE HUNDREDTH TIME LISTEN GIRL everyones not alike. :)

**You need to relax too, as you seem to be advocating on behalf of someone who is caught in that situation where he knows deep down that he is being unfaithful to his wife by lying and cheating to her/kids and Allah. And is forcing the wife to live an empty/hollow life whilst he can have the love/lust of his life.

** *I work as a social worker and have to clear a lot of the mess these jerks make. Your right everyone is not like that, there are some men who tell the women during the intitial proposal that they would want to remarry later and the woman can say no to marrying that man end of! Not, like the jerks you mention/defend for lying and cheating to their wives/children. They usually marry these women under false pretences, thinking they can trap them later by giving them a few kids.As it would make her weak and she would not leave him and he can have the other woman as well. I have a problem with that attitude and the attitude you have portrayed about the above points. Gold help your wife/kids if you live by those principles......as men with that mentality never find peace/happiness in their lives and ruin others lives too! *

I am done with this thread!