father having second marriage

Lifestyle Relationships
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:k:

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Re: father having second marriage

Hmmm. Well if your dad wants to marry a second wife, technically he doesn't even need permission from your mom.

As a daughter, you should go up to him and tell him that you are aware of his intentions. Also tell him how sad you are about it. If you feel that there is no way out, you and your sister have to make plans for your mother. Things will change when the second wife comes into the picture. I'm sure your mom will not be too happy, but like other women who go through this, she may have very few options. You daughters, be strong and handle this before it's too late.

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Re: father having second marriage

Not to mention what if secret second wife has HIV? There are health implications here too. Your mom has a right to a healthy life.

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Re: father having second marriage

Find out which stupid woman he's going to get married to. If possible visit the woman's family and do lots of rona dhona. Tell your mum, this involves her and she needs to know.

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Re: father having second marriage

its not the other woman who is stupid in this situation. Also, if you drive one away, there are many others where she came from. And actively getting involved and rona dhona is quite humiliating. Its not her place as the daughter to do that.

I think you need to tell ur mum and have a "another wife or us" talk with Daddy. Make him realise that his whims have severe consequences.

Not to mention that you arent doing the marrage breaking, but by not telling ur mum you are doing the betraying.

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Re: father having second marriage

^
I'm pretty sure the woman knows he's married. Doesn't she have any self respect? Marrying another woman's husband is disgusting in my opinion. :)

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Re: father having second marriage

^you know i used to think that way...until i moved to this place with many Arabs...and apparantly it's really normal for them...and they all seemed happy.Like I met this one girl who was a second wife of this Arab guy....and she was so normal herself..young, beautiful, she looked like any other young American girl in her early 20s and she shared a husband..so i wouldnt call it "disgusting". Afterall many of our best women in Islam who we look up to were in polygamous relationships....Hajira (as), hafsa Ra aisha ra, are examples...

That said, to original poster- you should tell you mother...but do nothing further....its their business, let them sort it out themselves...I doubt your mom is totally oblivious abt what's going on unless she lives under a rock, and Im pretty sure she's know a little abt what's going on.

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So all our beloved mother’s from Islamic history did some disgusting thing by marrying men who already had multiple wives. :hmmm: one should think well before making such remarks. :mad:

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Re: father having second marriage

how can you say that your parents are happy?
perhaps they do not share the intimate details of their life with you.......

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Re: father having second marriage

Mirch: I'm not talking about all the women from this planet. I was referring to the other woman in the scenario. Plus that's my opinion so need to pick on my comment. I still find the concept of one man being married to multiple wives disturbing.

Thanks!

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Re: father having second marriage

^ I agree with you Mirch...I think we should be careful about the things we say...You dont have to be completely comfortable with every option Islam allows, but there's really no reason to use that kind of language here. Be open minded!

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I beg to disagree. What is the other woman doing wrong?...Whereever they live, the country allows polygamy, so she;s not doing something illegal, and she 's not doing anything haraam....

The only issue in the scenario is is that , the father wants to make this a SECRET...and that is what is unacceptable. The first wife should know!

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If You were non Muslim making these remarks on a non Muslim forum I would care less.
You have the right to your opinion surely , I will defend your right to say anything about anything if the wording is not as careless as these. Our Mothers of Islam need defending too that is why I said what I said.

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Re: father having second marriage

Please try and talk to your mother about this...she has a right to know what is about to happen to her marriage.

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So would you be happy if your parents were in this situation? You wouldn't mind having a few other mothers? Afterall it's not haraam :)

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Re: father having second marriage

tell your mom how creepy her husband is, and help her find a good divorce lawyer who will make him weep for years.

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Re: father having second marriage

It looks like he is more interested in seeing his daughters secure hence he is waiting for your sister to get married. I say that you talk to your sister and then you both sit with him and let him know that unless he changes his mind, you guys are not getting married.

And all those people who are calling her dad, names ... please be considerate. She did not open this thread for you guys to call her dad, names. You are not her dad so you dont know what is the real reason behind this intention of his. As Muzna said, they may appear a happy couple but you dont know what is going on in their personal lives.

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I think most people do. In fact, if anyone wants to bring Islam into it, keep in mind that you have to practice polygamy the way the Quran has asked and the way the Prophet (SAW) practiced it. I'd like to know if this father plans on marrying a widowed woman or homeless woman for charity or is he wanting to marry the hot vvacious new woman in his life who he has been cheating with.

And using the way "the Arabs do it" is hardly justification. Half the way they practice Islam is warped anyway.

39

Very well said!

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Re: father having second marriage

uh tell your mom and get away from the creep.