father having second marriage

[retaliator]

@Curious Lady

You know, retaliotor, you bring up some good points. But there is a problem here. He is not being honest with his wife. That is it. Her reaction is who she is. If she does something stupid, well then, she’d be aware of what she’s doing and what consequences would follow, which she would have to pay for. Her reaction is in her control. It is not upto the father to rationalize his responsibility to his wife to be honest by trying to control her behavior to such an atrocity. It is not about women allowing their husbands to remarry or their sexual needs. It is about being honest to the friggin person you promised to take care of forever. Even if you married them out of pressure from family/whoever, YOU are the one who took that decision. If you can’t deal with it, end the relationship respectfully, give her what she deserves, give the kids what they deserve and then go marry the other woman. For God’s sake, if anyone brings up the “fact” that in Islam men are allowed to marry more than one woman, well, you need to shut your hole and go READ the Quran. And well, when you read, use your brain. It CLEARLY states the part about marrying more women after it talks about orphan kids and women with no husbands, for support. It clearly says that you marry more than one woman if your first wife allows it AND IF the other woman is in need for protection, and not because you are unable to deal with your marital issues. Go read some more about the rights of wives. A man is SUPPOSED to take care of her and NOT hurt her. In which world would a religion that preaches taking care of the wife also preach that you can hurt her in the worst way possible by marrying another woman? *All the assumptions made in this post do not necessarily portray the situation with OP’s father. This is a reply to past couple of posts.

i agree with everything u said and i appreciate that atleast someone here is having a positive attitude towards the matter..

but there are some things either i really cannot understand or m failing to explain and i have been repeating again…

i want to know what PROTECTION is. what TAKING CARE is. what HURTING is.

if protection is, i repeat “hanging around a woman so that she feels secure” or “or that she doesnt feel scared of sleeping in the darkness at night” then i see a lot of selfishness on the part of any women who thinks so. my definition of PROTECTION is “being with the woman whenever she needs u there to get those things done which she cannot do alone”.

again if TAKING CARE is “hanging around a woman all the time so that she feels pampered and loved” then again i see our women overly needy n selfish on their part. in my opinion TAKING CARE is “to attend to all the right needs of woman and the children, so that they grow up to be fine Muslim men and women”.

if HURTING is “leaving a woman when u think u cannot cope with her cuz of her attitude or anything or u r too needy n want more affection and (not just fulfillment of sexual desires, as zarra08 may think)” then again i see a lot of selfishness in our women. my definition of NOT HURTING IS “if u have two wives or children from two wives u must show ur affection towards them in such a way that neither would think they are inferior to the other. and that u dont tell a woman that u r remarrying cuz shes a hopeless case n u respect her and love her for what she is and let her know in a good way what she lacks n what u want to have”

i want to reiterate that polygamy is not as bad as we, the hindu minded people think it is. and instead of as rightly felt by zarra08 “heading for brothels and girl colleges” one shud go for the 100% pure n clean option of remarrying. n not just for s. desires but even if u wish for more children. more affection. want to support another woman. etc etc.

now the thing is 99.99 percent of women around the world wud not recognize this right of men to remarry. m just telling ppl here that its not a bad thing at all to opt for remarrying even if it is just for LUST, instead of getting involved in those activities that are not allowed by our religion.

i by no means am saying that every guy out there shud remarry whenever he gets the slightest feeling that his life is not heading the way it shud b. i am saying if one cannot compromise on diff things or control his desires then he shud remarry. n women and the children and relatives and neighbours and friends of that person shud not consider it all that bad whenever such a thing happens.

and not all ppl remarry for lust. and not all women for money or glamor. everyone needs here love n affection. everyone shud get it.

n not all the guys wud take this option if this disease is “widespread”. not everyone likes to have more than one wife and dozen of children :s not alteast me