father having second marriage

[zarra8]

Re: father having second marriage

@retaliator

i agree with everything u said and i appreciate that atleast someone here is having a positive attitude towards the matter..

but there are some things either i really cannot understand or m failing to explain and i have been repeating again…

i want to know what PROTECTION is. what TAKING CARE is. what HURTING is.

if protection is, i repeat “hanging around a woman so that she feels secure” or “or that she doesnt feel scared of sleeping in the darkness at night” then i see a lot of selfishness on the part of any women who thinks so. my definition of PROTECTION is “being with the woman whenever she needs u there to get those things done which she cannot do alone”.

again if TAKING CARE is “hanging around a woman all the time so that she feels pampered and loved” then again i see our women overly needy n selfish on their part. in my opinion TAKING CARE is “to attend to all the right needs of woman and the children, so that they grow up to be fine Muslim men and women”.

if HURTING is “leaving a woman when u think u cannot cope with her cuz of her attitude or anything or u r too needy n want more affection and (not just fulfillment of sexual desires, as zarra08 may think)” then again i see a lot of selfishness in our women. my definition of NOT HURTING IS “if u have two wives or children from two wives u must show ur affection towards them in such a way that neither would think they are inferior to the other. and that u dont tell a woman that u r remarrying cuz shes a hopeless case n u respect her and love her for what she is and let her know in a good way what she lacks n what u want to have”

i want to reiterate that polygamy is not as bad as we, the hindu minded people think it is. and instead of as rightly felt by zarra08 “heading for brothels and girl colleges” one shud go for the 100% pure n clean option of remarrying. n not just for s. desires but even if u wish for more children. more affection. want to support another woman. etc etc.

now the thing is 99.99 percent of women around the world wud not recognize this right of men to remarry. m just telling ppl here that its not a bad thing at all to opt for remarrying even if it is just for LUST, instead of getting involved in those activities that are not allowed by our religion.

i by no means am saying that every guy out there shud remarry whenever he gets the slightest feeling that his life is not heading the way it shud b. i am saying if one cannot compromise on diff things or control his desires then he shud remarry. n women and the children and relatives and neighbours and friends of that person shud not consider it all that bad whenever such a thing happens.

and not all ppl remarry for lust. and not all women for money or glamor. everyone needs here love n affection. everyone shud get it.

n not all the guys wud take this option if this disease is “widespread”. not everyone likes to have more than one wife and dozen of children :s not alteast me

i want to know what PROTECTION is. what TAKING CARE is. what HURTING is.

if protection is, i repeat “hanging around a woman so that she feels secure” or “or that she doesnt feel scared of sleeping in the darkness at night” then i see a lot of selfishness on the part of any women who thinks so. my definition of PROTECTION is “being with the woman whenever she needs u there to get those things done which she cannot do alone”.

That’s your definition of taking care physically! What about the emotional/psychological needs of women? What about in sickness and in health? Or does that only apply to where these sick minded people seem to ‘think’ they are getting the affection from? Usually, involves a cheating/lying man who is busy elsewhere giving/receiving affection to have this kind of attitude and not one who realises that he has to answer to Allah (SWT) and will be raised with half his body if he is unjust to his wife by deceiving and distributing his love elsewhere. If you’r not happy/in love/don’t get affection then get out of the damn shamless marriage, after all why earn more guna/sin by living a LIE? The poor woman (wife) can get PROTECTION by your definition of the word through police/neighbours and i.e, a passer by can help her lift the shopping that she cannot life ALONE!

if HURTING is “leaving a woman when u think u cannot cope with her cuz of her attitude or anything or u r too needy n want more affection and (not just fulfillment of sexual desires, as zarra08 may think)” then again i see a lot of selfishness in our women. my definition of NOT HURTING IS “if u have two wives or children from two wives u must show ur affection towards them in such a way that neither would think they are inferior to the other. and that u dont tell a woman that u r remarrying cuz shes a hopeless case n u respect her and love her for what she is and let her know in a good way what she lacks n what u want to have”

Ha ha ha! So, THE GRASS IS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE! Problem with people like that is they are busy having fun and pretending to be NEEDY and neglecting their kids/wife’s needs in the process of pursuing ‘the love of their life’! Shame on these men for giving grief to these poor women/inoncent children. Inshallah each shall be held accountable on the day of judgement, people can deceive each other by saying wife was selfish/had an attitude but at the end of the day its the man with an attitude as he wants to have his wife/kids as well as the ‘person that is the love/lust of his life’. Why put the poor wife/kids through this misery? Release the poor woman so she too can find happiness! Or does that hurt his ego? To know that there maybe someone better out there for his wife?

i want to reiterate that polygamy is not as bad as we, the hindu minded people think it is. and instead of as rightly felt by zarra08 “heading for brothels and girl colleges” one shud go for the 100% pure n clean option of remarrying. n not just for s. desires but even if u wish for more children. more affection. want to support another woman. etc etc.

These kind of people would do well to support the family they already have before contemplating on ruining another woman’s life and creating messed up children so that the society has to suffer the consequences. Children from unstable family life have a tendency to turn to crime/drugs. They go out looking for love/attention that their father was busy distributing elsewhere!

by no means am saying that every guy out there shud remarry whenever he gets the slightest feeling that his life is not heading the way it shud b. i am saying if one cannot compromise on diff things or control his desires then he shud remarry. n women and the children and relatives and neighbours and friends of that person shud not consider it all that bad whenever such a thing happens.

The only person to benefit from this aproach would be the selfish man marrying for LUST as you put it and putting the strain on society. Islam talks about controlling the nafs/desires.

and not all ppl remarry for lust. and not all women for money or glamor. everyone needs here love n affection. everyone shud get it.

**^ very well said ‘everyone needs love and affection’, the poor wife should get this love even if it means remarrying and getting away from this jerk of a husband who wants to remarry at the drop of a hat!

** I really do hope that women learn to stand up to these jerks and express themselves rather than becoming submissive. Or even worse subdued under the banner of Islam into believing that they are doing good…meanwhile the husband don’t even fulfill the rights of Allah by praying or giving zakat! We are living in the times of when ignorance is prevailing over religious matters and this is one of those matters where the non-practising muslim men seem to think they have the upper hand!