So what was yours when dealing with your mother-in-law?
I fail to believe that everyone (married, engaged/in a relationship) out here has a sour relationship with their MIL. There must be some happy stories out there. So what did you do to get past those initial reservations when dealing with her initially. For those of you who are single, how do you plan on getting past that?
I’ll tell you mine. It’s stupid really but I’m someone who likes hugging my family very randomly. I’ll just go up to my mom or sister when they’re in the middle of something, give a nice tight hug and leave as aburptly. When I got engaged my MIL was very standoff-ish. Actually, she didn’t like me much at all. It wasn’t arranged and she didn’t like the fact that her son had gone ‘behind her back’ and picked a girl on his own who wasn’t from the same country. Moreover, her rishta trips from Pakistan were only reciprocated by a NO from my family for 2 years. So what broke the ice was when I once very randomly went and hugged from the back when she was in the middle of a pretty serious conversation with my family after the engagement. She went really stiff on me and I regretted it the minute I did it.
But you know , a couple of tries later, she really did warm up to me mashallah. I also call her MOTHER-IN-LAW or SAAS jokingly at times just cuz those words have a very sinister feel to it and she hates it.
I’ll also email her jokes about MIL-DIL fights and somehow making fun and laughing at them together has made us realize how ridiculous these issues can be they can be and have helped us get along, you know, ease into our roles all nicely now. My friends tell me It’ll all change once I’m married and I’ll start hating her intrusion but I’m keeping my fingers crossed for now.
So what was yours when dealing with your mother-in-law?
I fail to believe that everyone (married, engaged/in a relationship) out here has a sour relationship with their MIL. There must be some happy stories out there. So what did you do to get past those initial reservations when dealing with her initially. For those of you who are single, how do you plan on getting past that?
I'll tell you mine. It's stupid really but I'm someone who likes hugging my family very randomly. I'll just go up to my mom or sister when they're in the middle of something, give a nice tight hug and leave as aburptly. When I got engaged my MIL was very standoff-ish. Actually, she didn't like me much at all. It wasn't arranged and she didn't like the fact that her son had gone 'behind her back' and picked a girl on his own who wasn't from the same country. Moreover, her rishta trips from Pakistan were only reciprocated by a NO from my family for 2 years. So what broke the ice was when I once very randomly went and hugged from the back when she was in the middle of a pretty serious conversation with my family after the engagement. She went really stiff on me and I regretted it the minute I did it.
But you know , a couple of tries later, she really did warm up to me mashallah. I also call her MOTHER-IN-LAW or SAAS jokingly at times just cuz those words have a very sinister feel to it and she hates it.
I'll also email her jokes about MIL-DIL fights and somehow making fun and laughing at them together has made us realize how ridiculous these issues can be they can be and have helped us get along, you know, ease into our roles all nicely now. My friends tell me It'll all change once I'm married and I'll start hating her intrusion but I'm keeping my fingers crossed for now.
How did you guys do it?
I am single and I guess these thinks cannot be predicted beforehand. We do not know how open, frank, reserved our MIL will be. I am a friendly person and can get along well with anyone... But I am not sure about my future MIL (I do not know where on earth she currently is :P). But I will try to have a friendly relationship with her... this might take some time... Don't know how to break the ice initially as I think it will depend on the situation which most probably in my case will be an arranged marriage...
I'm blessed with the best-to-be-mil. Ever since he told her about me, she's been very supportive but that doesn't mean she didn't throw some challenges at me, haha but no big deal.
But I'm too shy to get past the reserved state, because I know there are still 5+ years before we get married so I keep pushing it off. But I'm going to steal your hugging idea, lol. I know she really likes me (mostly because I'm her sons choice), but I want our relationship to be no different than a mother/daughter. Also I really need to start calling her on her bdays, I always chicken out, but for the past 4 years she has called me on every big occasion in my life and sometimes just to chat.
My mum gets on brilliantly with my SIL, she hated her guts at first but then swung to the other extreme lol.. They're more like mother and daughter now than MIL and DIL..
Fat Penguin... as in the penguin that breaks the ice cuz it's fat gettit? lol. Ok i don't know if that's where it came from but I meant as in the ice breaker. Fat penguin can also be the evil mother-in-law in some of the cases.
Awww Gaia, when you hug her please make sure you stay in her field of vision. If receiver doesn't see the hugger, it could reciprocate really bad. I've been slapped.
Fat Penguin... as in the penguin that breaks the ice cuz it's fat gettit? lol. Ok i don't know if that's where it came from but I meant as in the ice breaker. Fat penguin can also be the evil mother-in-law in some of the cases.
Awww Gaia, when you hug her please make sure you stay in her field of vision. If receiver doesn't see the hugger, it could reciprocate really bad. I've been slapped.
Lol I thought you were making some kind of weird reference to the penguin from Billy Madison.
Lol yeah it is. Back when Sandler's movies were decently funny. And I still read your name as "balls" initially lol. You really should have thought that one through, or maybe you're just innocent and the rest of us are dirty minded.
I actually looked around for the longest time and eventually settled for average. Little did I know I'd come across all these gems on a forum named GS. But I guess that's how the cookie crumbles. sigh
Lol yeah it is. Back when Sandler's movies were decently funny. And I still read your name as "balls" initially lol. You really should have thought that one through, or maybe you're just innocent and the rest of us are dirty minded.
Yeah his movies suck now.
And no, I just randomly came across this place when I was looking into some wedding planning stuff. Should've done my homework on this forum before picking out a name.
I am that innocent actually lol
