almost always comes along with racial stereotypes. So how do the various races/cultures measure up to the various parental/societal requirements?
My extended family probably values them in the following order:
Fortunately they have no say in my decisions but it is always amazing how stuck people can be into stereotypes.
I guess all other family's are racially indifferent?
1) family
2) Pakistani
3) Muslim
(I guess the above three combined would be perfect)
My mum would be happy as long as he's tall, goodlooking and charming.
Quite a few of my cousins have married into Punjabi families, and theres always a great deal of teasing when this happens. My cousin married a Punjabi girl and everyone had a few things to say, and then his mums sisters son also married a Punjabi girl and then it was her turn to be teased.
why? whats wrong with punjabis?
After what Faisal wrote, I'd have to say I didnt initially understand the question.
Now that I understand it, I'd say good background and education/upbringing are considered to be the topmost criteria to both my parents. They dont think along racial lines. Sure one insists on only a muslim, but thats about as far as it goes.
Am I the only one who find this thread to be more-than-slightly-confusing, in terms of how its worded?
If I understand it correctly, on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being lowest and 10 being highest, the most tranquile marital relationship (a score of 10 presumably) is obtained in hmcq's (extended) family when two cousins marry each other. They are deemed to be living a life of perfect harmony. And the lowest possible score (of 1) when a family member of hmcq marries a black person. Presumably they fight non-stop.
Is this based on some anecdotal evidence (someone married a black person and divorced in 2 weeks) or is it just what you think they will say, when someone in your extended family takes a larki to his home and say "ami jaan, ye hai aap ki bahu".
LOL Faisal its not about tranquil marital relationships but rather about the way my extended family considers marriages to work and not work. In my extended family circle there are quite a few first cousins and second cousin marriages and lot of relatives.... from that perspective it was not a scale but how the person/race has been "stereotyped". And how much agaisnt such a marriage the parents/extended family has been.
Nope no ones married a black and gotten divorced in two weeks. The 1 refers to the most highly preferred status while the last is the least preffered person, just based on race. In some cases there are overlaps, like doctors and engineers been more highly preffered then say a domestic servant (an extreme example) etc etc....
Having spent most of my time three totally different continents and cultures, its always amusing to travel back to pakistan and see the stereotypes and others sentiments. This post came up because recently one of my counsins just went back to Pak to get married. And though I have not seen the black marriage not work issue, I do know of a few relatives who got married outside of thier relatives circles and are now divorced (I cant really say if the "outside the relatives" part was just something that became a talking point in hindsight after divorce or if it was a talking point before it).
Anyways in this post, it was just looking at based on nothing else, just races, what the extended family's preferences tend to be and how much off the mark they are with their kids/people involved.
Nothings wrong with Punjabis, I personally have nothing against them and I dont think my parents do either, but like you said they always prefer family.
Munni since you changed your response let me state it a different way:
All things been equal, your family would not mind between a black/hispanic/indian/pakistani person for your spouse?
My family’s requirement is for the guy to be educated with a good career, be Pakistani Punjabi like us, intelligent, good-natured & loving, and attractive. Of course my own requirements surpass theirs by a few but at the end, their requirements are fine because they’re the same, if not very close, to my own.
No. I didn’t get it either. 
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by hmcq: *
Munni since you changed your response let me state it a different way:
All things been equal, your family would not mind between a black/hispanic/indian/pakistani person for your spouse?
[/QUOTE]
No, my family would not mind any of them.
im kali 
no wonder im not married yet…
^Lol...Come now... you may be off white but kali...heheheh
j/k
I must just keep company with the people who have racial stereotypes then, cause all the parents I know have preferences just as they do with kids educations and so on.
ditto. lol.
yeah hmcq for most pakistani families requirements for a girl have to be ‘gori’ before anything!
I thought most of the females just said, the requirement for the parents was to be educated and with a decent career? When did the physical attributes come in :)?
My parents want :
parents.
See hmcq.... the way you worded the post, folks are lost... now they are counting the qualities that their parents will go looking for their spouse.
Ok... here is my shot at what our family will usually prefer.
1. Family. If they find someone in the family who is suitable, that will be the first priority
1. Background: Some one whose family is from the same place our family is. It can go back several generations. I won't name the place, but the common wisdom is that folks from that place are generally very shareef
1. Khandani: So if the search has to be expanded beyond the above two, the prospects will be evaluated as to whether they are "khandani". Meaning parents have instilled good values in their kids.
1. Same Financial Status: Like all families there is a big delta even within our family... so they each try to match their own financial status. Upward is fine.. downward to an extent will be forgiven if any of the the above three conditions are met. Otherwise, mushkil
1. Gora, Kaala, Peela, Neela, Non-muslim: No such example in our family, so can't say for sure. However, I suspect, with changing times they will tolerate anyone who is a decent individual. Will be tested in coming years, I guess
Hope it answers your query. And no, I really don't it helped in your quest for racial stereotyping all that much.
^ I think everybody meant that more or less by their answers.They just assumed others would know what the definitions of their words meant.:p
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Faisal: *
[li]Background: Some one whose family is from the same place our family is. It can go back several generations. I won't name the place, but the common wisdom is that folks from that place are generally very shareef [/li][/QUOTE]
Which place is that Faisal Bhai? Are our families from that same place? Im sure your mum must be right, since my mums family is from there too?