Faisal thats very close to what I thought I would hear. In most cases the stereotypying is done cause its commonly believed that similar cultural and financial status makes the marriage stronger.
Anyways based on your answer, how much of these attributes do you think you will be passing on to your own kids now that you live here in the US?
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*Originally posted by hmcq: *
Faisal thats very close to what I thought I would hear. In most cases the stereotypying is done cause its commonly believed that similar cultural and financial status makes the marriage stronger.
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I won't characterize it as making the marriage stronger. Marriage is ALWAYS a risk, whether you select a spouse yourself or someone pushes them at you. There is always a chance things won't work out. By going for people with similar backgrounds, upbringing, education, financial status and what not, the parents are usually trying to minimize the risk of incompatibility. Its more like giving the couple a head start, and the rest they have to build themselves.
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Anyways based on your answer, how much of these attributes do you think you will be passing on to your own kids now that you live here in the US?
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Probably not much. And its not solely because of where we are. I think its more a function of time, rather than place. Even if I had lived in Pakistan, in the next 15-20 years, I expect the kids to be highly educated, career-minded and be able to make their own decisions. Even in Pakistan, for the people in the same social circle as ours, I believe there has been an immense shift in how spousal-hunt went on 20 years ago, compared to today. I doubt, in the year 2020, my kids will look up to their parents to find them a spouse, nor do I plan to impose my wishes in this matter. As long as we, as parents, have instilled in them the ability to make right decisions, and take responsibility for those decisions, they should be ok. The responsibility of parents is to be there as advisors in that stage of their life. I haven't really thought about what kind of spouses these kids will select, but I doubt if it will rigidly conform to any of the traditional values I have recounted above. Decent muslims who are good human beings is probably the minimum they should look for. On top of that, whatever their own ideals are. I can't really say. Its too premature.
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*Originally posted by hmcq: *
Having spent most of my time three totally different continents and cultures, .
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so that was the most of your time, the remaining was spent in other not so different continents and cultures?
Faisal what do you think your reaction would be if they didnt go for a muslim? That may remotely be compared with what perhaps our elders would have thought about for their kids marrying outside a certain circle.
Kamal-- I spent a few years in europe but I dont really consider having gotten used to the culture there.
As for other places I have lived in, there has been a huge amount of diversity.
Re: Family’s view of marital harmony
everyting in life has it’s own importance which cannot be denied at any stage.
