…Insha’allah…things will work out…
I can probably write pages on this. :)
As someone already said, if you don't like the guy...say no right away and be firm. But, if you think you can consider him, then get to know him better.
DO NOT, under any circumstances, go ahead with it because of family pressure. It might make you say yes now, but chances are you might regret it later. The thought of it happening merely because of family might make things worse.
I can totally understand how shocking it must be for you. The negative thoughts might just be the reaction of this shock. Be straight-forward with your mom about not pressurizing you. If you want to make your mom understand, make sure you do it rationally. If you yell/scream/fight, she won't take you seriously. If you want her to listen to you, be calm and make her understand your point. After all, it's you who has to live your life. Just make sure you're not getting into it with any negative thoughts...hoping they might change later. Chances are..they might. But I wouldn't take the risk.
Give it some time. Think with a cool mind. If you think you can give it a chance, ask for some time. Get to know the guy. :)
CB, that breaks my heart! Is that why you said NO right away and were firm on it?
Roman, shh! Chup.
CB, please, put me to quietness but not like this. How about like that instead?
Boss, 
. Ab aap us kay wounds par salt to na sprinkle karain.
YOu know , how that one weak moment in my life was seized by my family. (not that I regret that now) But here you say err, yes, ok the guy seems ok, you people can do the inquiry;there you’ll be told that everything is finalized and the deal has been struck between the families. 
Better watchout Maharani! While you are not that young, I would say if you are not prepared than don’t fall prey or go for any such commitment. However, I feel that you’ll get hitched pretty soon. (yeah after having a look at your pics). Tumhara bachna mushkil hai beta. 
ufff allah...
if the guy is right say yeh to the engagement only.
and then shaadi after whatever...
marriage is actually a good thing.. and engagement a very good thing ;)
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by 714: *
arrangin marriage is one thing-being thrown into it totally without any warning is another. If you ask me, ur mom knew how u'd react and tried to do something abt it.
[/QUOTE]
That's what i was thinking. If your family are going to do this thing then why not give a bit of warning first?
[QUOTE]
Originally posted by 714: *
manghni is not a **nikka,*
[/QUOTE]
Yeah mangni doesnt mean a nikka. Nikkas (and nikkis) come later. :p
u know wht,if he was dat hot,u should av got engaged...it wasnt like 2pather par lakir"
hey now so i can't transliterate properly :p
pk-i agree that its not set in stone, but hot hone ke saath, koi personality be honi chaaye.
UFF! main kithay jawan main kino maraan 
You guyz are not helping at all. Itnay different opinions main to aur confused hogai hoon.
T2…your right, its too early for me.
Fraudia… Mom told me he was the one.
Belle…I know I am still firm on my decision and want to get me edu done.
Sarah…you can have them all even his sister, but please do leave me my dactar you know kabhi physcial checkup ki hi zarorat par jati hai..
Faisal bhai…okay I dont like the guy, I just thought he was hot, that doesn’t mean I am ready to spend the rest of my life with him. Uper se I am serious, I can’t even take care of myself, talk about ghar sambhali, TABAR sambhali…pshhhhhh forget THAT!
Boss yaar main to itni masoom hoon kay bus pocho mat, lahore ki sub se bebe bachi…I mean mere ko to yeh bhi nahi pata kay shadi kay baad honey moon hota hai :nahnah:
Degar I have been working out, I guess you should really see my Bday pics
Gudia, yeah I told my mom, Not right now! and I mean after my edu if they are that desperate then I can get to know the guy first and all. But mom say chalo koi baat nahi atleast mangni karwa low. I said NO because I dont want any kind of commitment. Pata mangni kay baad aur bohat problems hojati hain. Calls everyday..inlaws coming over and all that shiznit nope nope…
Mad, thanks for the support, I feel better now.
Okay bhallan I will try not to yell at my mom, and talk to her all calm and stuff lets see what she says.
Lost Soul. you feel I will get hitched soon. yaar aysa to na kahoo I am so down these days uper se yeh baat…ufffffffffff
Xtreme 714 is right my mom knows how I feel about getting married right now. I mean that is why they didn’t say a word. If she had told me about this shait in AZ I would not have came here.
Ok, if you don't like the guy, then its simple. Just say "No".
Saaree kahani mein "hot hot" ki batein karr kay sabb ko confuse kiya hua thaa.
Just tell your amma ke "koi acha larka nazar aaya tau mein aap ko khud bata dooN gi - aap fikr na karein". :)
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Faisal: *
Just tell your amma ke "koi acha larka nazar aaya tau mein aap ko khud bata dooN gi - aap fikr na karein". :)
[/QUOTE]
Faisal unkil......Good Idea! okay I will say something like the above I hope she agrees :(
O BB stop acting and get down to bijness.. chut mangnee tay put vyah tay halalalalah..
all else can still go on while you do the above.
PA yaar come on, Halalalal is great but no chut mangni te pat viya…apaan sadi naio patni!
lm jee-chica, you do whatever you feel is best. BUS. if you feel ur edu is vitally important and that commitment will hinder that, then, thats it. I still can’t believe ur fam did that 
(no offense to them, im feeling for you). COMPLETELY tricking someone into going all the way to Pakistan for something like that, is only going to make them more adamant abt saying no.
oye LM, didn't ur didi complete her medicine? un ko ijazat mil gayi parhai complete kerne ke toh tumharay time pe itni jaldi kyun ker rahay hayn tumharay parents? maybe there r some other factors involved....
waisay, mangni mein koi itna harj naheen tho i know what u mean...
btw whats ur age, rnt u only 18-19?
yaar araam se samjhao, i am sure ur parents will listen to u and all of u can come to some samjhota :) good luck
I was also told in a similar fashion about a rishta. I was conversating with dad on the phone, and my brother picked up the other line to speak to him. However I did not hang up on the other end. Meanwhile a conversation transpired about how this friend of a friend was coming to see me. Immediately I yelled out "DADDY, I HEARD THAT". He started laughing and told me to take it easy.
Anyway, I stood my ground with my parents eventhough I was hard pressed to get married on several occassions. It wasnt easy, and many times I felt guilty for having said no to so many risthas, but it never felt right. If it ever does, I will consider it and keep my options open, and thats what I suggest to all my friends.
Just be sure that whatever decision you make, you dont end up saying later, "I should have done this...or that". Be happy with the decision you make. I am happy with the ones I made. Everyone else gave some great advice to follow. smile
Generally speaking, here’s what I hear:
Ok, so you’re 20-something, so make up your mind based on a single chaperoned meeting. My parents did it to me, and I wanna do it to you too. Don’t believe the world’s really changed in communication and size since the 60s. Don’t ever think about what YOU wanna do in life.
Once married, make 3-4 kids futta-fut because I am in this race to be a grandma/pa. Don’t worry, the kids don’t have to be good muslims, just know the kalma when washing hands. After all, depletion of food and natural resources is human race’s top priority. Oh! and don’t forget to do the same to your kids – it’s that simple!