All my dear guppies, I just discovered why I was bought here, to pakiland. My family wants me to get hitched. It was all preplaned. I am like in a total shock!
Today after aftari my mom comes over and says, “putar jaldi se taiyar hojao mehman a rahe hain”. I asked her what mehmaan and she told bus hain koi, just get ready. She even told me to wear what I wore on my birthday because it makes me look thin. My didi came over and told me how to do my hair and makeup. Aur main bohat khush hokar makeup karwa rahi thi jaise I was getting ready for my Valima. So I got ready and all. I heard the door bell (uff its so annoying, it’s a voice of some bird going choochoochiichi, bilkul paindo). My moms like go help your didi with chai and everything. She had especially made her Russian Salad that took her about 3 hours. Then from the kitchen window I see this woman sitting down with her 2 sons and a daughter. And let me tell you girls bhara wala beta was very hot. GQ looking stud , with spiked up hair and all, bilkul ABCD wala type. Khair so it was chai time, and didi and I bought the tea over to the guests. Aur who aunty uff mere chicks abhi tak LAL hai. She was like pulling on like crazy. Now its time for me to sit and my moms like nahi “beta aunty ke pass betho”. I was like yeah okay whatever, though I was kinda checking out that GQ abcd. So aunty goes on and on about how good her daughter is and both of her sons. Especially bhara beta to bus pocho mat, bohat beba bacha. She went on and on blah blah blah. And the whole time I kept looking at those yummy kababs on the table lol.
Well she got meethai and a jora. Not the ring yet. Thank god!
When my ears heard something like this “jee humay to bachi bohat pasand hai”. I was like “OH SH*T!”, main te gai. I got so mad , now I couldn’t even run around naked and scream my lungs out, so I had to keep all in me. Why did my mom even think that I would WANT to get married right now? I mean no body asked me or told me what was going. It was all preplaned, eversince I got graduated. So then after the guests left I had this BIG HUGE fight with my mom. And I told her NO NO NO. I am not getting married right now. She told me they would wait till I atleast finish my Bachelors, bus mangi karwa low. HELL NAW! to that one too. I just don’t even want to think about all this stuff. I am too young. I can’t even take care of myself how will I manage to take care of another person and his whole family. I atleast want to do my masters, get a job work a lil bit and you know live a lil. So now my mom is really upset with me because I don’t want to go forward with it. Ab main kia karon. It’s my life I should have some control over it, right? Sighhh they are really pressurizing me. I don’t know what to do? I am so confused.
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*Originally posted by Fraudz: *
heh how do you know that the GQ lookign guy was the candidate? could have been bait n switch going on :D
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Thats what i was thinking. And wow that wait till I atleast finish my Bachelors, bus mangi karwa low line is a classic.
Just be firm about what you want to do at this point which is get your education done.
LM, whats the problem. If you don't like the guy, then its one thing. Saaf mana karr do. If you like him, then it makes sense. If you are double-minded, get more time to evaluate the guy.
Waisay, your line is interesting: "I can’t even take care of myself how will I manage to take care of another person and his whole family". Usually its the other way around, and the guys give this shapeel to their mom, ke abhi mein itni zimaidaari nahi utha sakta... seems like you will be the one feeding the dude and his extended family. I smell trouble! :)
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*Originally posted by Sarah Splendor: *
If you don't want him I'll take him. And his brother. And the daactar as well. Chal tu parhai pe dehan rakh.
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Maharanijee, your in quite normal desi situation.. I think the family pressure is always higher for the girls than the guys but this is how I went about it: When my mom and the auntys were ready to get me hitched to some girl from da pind, I pretty much freaked like you did...this was when I was finishing up the college..I mean no offense to the kuri but getting engaged to her hot photo was not the way for me (I supposedly met her back when I was five...yeh that helps).. Then I came up with a plan: I went to dadimaa and my eldest uncle and pretty much convinced them to see my point..I said the same spiel as you did plus "I believe in giving my future wife and family a certain comfortable lifestyle"..My dadimaa and uncle always liked me so sweet talking was easy. My point? find allies (older ones perhaps) in the family who can override your mom and your folks :) Good luck with everything..
I am engaged, fortunately this time I actually want to marry her :)
.. the way u were looking greedidly at those kebabs and ur dress that supposidly made u look less fat.. start work out right now!
..get hitched soon.. many girls have wasted much time in pursuit of something thats very ordinary in front of family life and have become too late for marriage..
Parents see it as their responsibility to have their marriageable aged daughters married, you need to sit down and talk to your mom and explain your side of it but also listen to what she has to say..........and find out a little about this guy, obviously he did catch your attention.....
Marriage is a big decision.......and in the end it is your decision and your life............
Think it through. Meeting the guy may not be such a bad idea…who knows he might be prince charming. And if he’s willing to compromise by waiting until you’re ready…then that is :k:
But even then, you do what YOU want to do. Dont ever compromise.
If I was in your situation, I would insist on getting to know the guy first (with some desi families, that doesn’t go down well), and then if I liked him and he was okay on waiting like 10 years for me to complete my education, then I’d say chalo ji, 4 saal mein magni karwaale na.
Sorry, my education situation is different…for u it may not be 10 years.
How can you possibly take that? 3 years was too long from me, I was glad to just grab my degree and hit the job market… but 10 years??? What the heck are you planning on studying??
And LahoriM, it’s YOUR life. No one can force you to get married or engaged or whatever until YOU think you are ready. There are plenty of women out there who are strong and who stand up to their family’s wishes to get married early. You too can be one of them…
arrangin marriage is one thing-being thrown into it totally without any warning is another. If you ask me, ur mom knew how u'd react and tried to do something abt it. If he's cute, or nice, or whatever, check it out. You never know. I'd be more pissed abt my fam if they did something like that. Neways, manghni is not a nikka, and you don't have marry until u're done. How long do u really have anyways? In the end, doll, do what you feel is best, trust me, trust me, trust me...don't get stuck in something you don't like...
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*Originally posted by Degas: *
and have become too late for marriage..
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degas pra do elaborate on this. how does a girl become very late for marriage? is it when she turns 30? or 28? maybe even 26?
are these 'deadlines' defined by our desi culture? what reason are they based upon? why cannot a 38 year old woman marry just as happily as a 22 year old?
LM ~ Sweetheart. This is rightly a huge shock for you. I've known i'm getting married for some years yet EACH time the 'talks' bubble up - i feel panicy and like oh shugar - this is ACTUALLY happening.
I feel like a kid too - and i hate the idea of being married :-(
Well it's good to know you put your foot down and told them exactly what you think. Hopefully your parents will understand na hug Hope your stance wards them off for a while..
, with spiked up hair and all, bilkul ABCD wala type. Khair so it was chai time, and didi and I bought the tea over to the guests. Aur who aunty uff mere chicks abhi tak LAL hai. She was like pulling on like crazy. Now its time for me to sit and my moms like nahi “beta aunty ke pass betho”. I was like yeah okay whatever, though I was kinda checking out that GQ abcd. So aunty goes on and on about how good her daughter is and both of her sons. Especially bhara beta to bus pocho mat, bohat beba bacha. She went on and on blah blah blah. And the whole time I kept looking at those yummy kababs on the table lol.
, now I couldn’t even run around naked and scream my lungs out, so I had to keep all in me. Why did my mom even think that I would WANT to get married right now? I mean no body asked me or told me what was going. It was all preplaned, eversince I got graduated. So then after the guests left I had this BIG HUGE fight with my mom. And I told her NO NO NO. I am not getting married right now. She told me they would wait till I atleast finish my Bachelors, bus mangi karwa low. HELL NAW! to that one too. I just don’t even want to think about all this stuff. I am too young. I can’t even take care of myself how will I manage to take care of another person and his whole family. I atleast want to do my masters, get a job work a lil bit and you know live a lil. So now my mom is really upset with me because I don’t want to go forward with it. Ab main kia karon. It’s my life I should have some control over it, right? Sighhh they are really pressurizing me. I don’t know what to do? I am so confused. 
aaj kul masoomiat bhi jali aa rhi hai! sighs