Family Planning

Lifestyle Parenting, Household Affairs and Cuisine corner
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So me and my husband were talking about future kids probably in next 3 years :chai:

I want to get opinions, is it a good idea to have two children close together when I say close I mean a year apart.

Also are there any health risks?

P.s Generally I have no clue about babies or family planing, I’m trying to plan how i’m going to fit 4 babies into the space of 5 years :smiley:

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Re: Family Planning

There shouldn’t be any health risks having babies that close. My mom got pregnant with me when my sister was 4 months old!!! So we’re a year apart and are the best of friends.
It’s obviously hard for the first 2-3 years.
And lol .. 4 babies in 5 years? :eek: Are you sure about that? :stuck_out_tongue: I said something like that too BEFORE I had my daughter … once I had her I couldn’t even imagine getting pregnant again. I even had a scare when she was 3 months old :hayaa: lol … we started trying again when she was a year old.
My kids will be 2.5 years apart iA! And we want to try for the 3rd baby when baby no2 is a year or two. Inshallah

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4 babies in 5 is too close. are you sure it will have good parenting?

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could you elaborate more on GOOD PARENTING, how would having 4 children effect that?

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Aww. I think there was some confusion in my comment. I said in relation to the time period being too short as 4 in 5 years. I believe it should affect one's capacity and capability of taking care of things as well as kids. And god forbid if the births are not normal (and c sections) then obviously the medical fitness factor also comes into consideration.

Now on the number of kids, I personally believe number of kids does affect good parenting. NO ONE has to agree with me because I already said its my personal view. It could be fallible and wrong. But I feel if I have two kids I can be a better parent to them, understanding them better and care more after them. Again, purely personal view.

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I never really thought about the whole C section, natural birth etc etc. :bummer: I truely dont know anything about babies, pregnancies and Birth i have so much to learn :naak:

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yep I didnt think about c section eitehr at all until the ob came to me after 36 hours of labor and said, "his heart beat is dipping and we need to take him out now so we are taking you to the OR" and I ended up with c section! I honestly thought I will delivery my baby naturally with the help of epidural until the very last minute!

4 kids in 5 years.. come back to this post after you have gone through pregnancy and delivered one.. you may have different thoughts about it. :D

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i think 1 or 2 kids are enough for me in 5years....

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lol...

But I want a hari bhari family :(

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i met some one who had 4 kids in 5-6 years. she says she hasn't been to the mall in 8 months :P. but she seems pretty happy.

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Aww honey there is a long way to know and understand life better. Im not sure how old you are at the moment, and as much as everyone wants a hari bhari family, being an adult when you come to think of it, being a parent is a HUGE RESPONSIBILITY. If nothing else, at least you would want your kids to be good human beings, good citizens and good muslims above all, so maybe you’d be concerned more about their up bringing when the time will come. Things will start to dawn on you right from the day you will become pregnant and then many of your views and ideas (including you, yourself) will undergo transformation. Well this is my piece of heart anyway.

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:k:

If you dont mind, GTG, had you used any methods or tips for natural birth already? stuck to any exercise or anything you thought might prepare your body for natural birth?

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Wow Mashallah! 4 kids in 5 years!!

If you have a twin than things will get easier for u :stuck_out_tongue:

All the best…Like the desi grannies would say…eat a loads of dry fruit and drink a lot of milk! :smiley:

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The health risks are if you have c-sections. It’s recommended to have 1-2 years gap between major abdominal surgeries.

I won’t go into the mental health risks of having 4 babies in 5 years… :hehe:

Agree with GTG . Have one… then figure these things out.

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I think it totally depends on you when you and your body are ready, of course you don't only have to give birth but actually raise them. My daughter is almost 21 months, I m still not thinking about 2nd one.

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mirage, I was working full time until Friday (my baby was born on Sunday), at my work I was out in teh field most of the day so I walked a lot.. I used to go for uphill walk everyday for an hour in the evening as apparently that helps with the stretching of pelvic muscles. I did kegels as much as I remembered to do it. I had taken natural birth classes and kind of knew what I wanted to do when it was time to push etc. I had no intention to go all natural as in no pain medication.. I took epidural at 8 inches (I went pretty fast and hard from 4-8 ) and then before you know it I was 10cm dilated, water broke, but baby was high up there!
I had him as sunny side up so I was doing lots of exercises on my hands and knees to turn him over.. I think the midwife told me that he did turn over at my 39 weeks appt. but 5 days later, when I was in labor, it turned out he was sunny side up again and I had the back labor!

I had read everything about natural birth but nothing about c section or recovery form it.. learned that the hardway! I still remember when we were in the hospital and I was having contractions, my husband said to me that if they ask for c section, we are going to say yes and not argue about it (he knew I was against it but didnt say that to me until I was in labor) and I just looked at him and said.. I have been in labor since yesterday, you think I am having a csection? I was soo wrong about it.. my mom thought I was delivering my baby inside since I was soooo close to the end until the alarms went off and docs rushed to our room and took me to OR.. honestly, you cant predict these things!

just be open and flexible (yes literally too :D) at the end of the day, it really doesnt matter how they come into this world.. it’s a pure joy! I remember docs saying, its a boy but I didnt hear him crying, like textbooks tell you, so I freaked out and didnt want to hear a thing after that but then I heard a whimper followed by a loud cry! the joy I felt at that moment cant be described in words.. ok I know I have distracted but you know, mommies gush like that :blush:

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:k:

When I was in high school…I didn’t know much about pregnancy, labor/delivery, or even raising kids. In my la-la world…I was convinced that I wanted 4-6 kids.

Now that I’m fully aware of all the pregnancy “issues”, have read about all the things that are “normal”(and not so normal!) during the actual birth (including watching a video of a episiotomy like an idiot!)…not to mention recovering from a birth…and taking care of a baby…:hinna: Heck I’m not even 100% sure I want 1! :bummer:

Kiwi: Start reading up on pregnacy, labor/delivery, and taking are of newborn/toddlers. Along with articles, start visiting various pregnancy/family forums (makeupalley has a great one) where women discuss their experiences in detail. Heck you can even watch birthing videos online. Forget about actually having a baby…first find out ALL the details and see if you still want to try for 4. :smiley:

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i'd recommend having one first and seeing how you do.
and yes, like mirage said, if you have a C, technically, you're not fully healed until around 18 months have passed so you shouldn't aim to get pregnant until that happens, although women do get pregnant sooner but then you run the risk of possible complications.
as for 4 kids in 5 years, sorry but ahahahahahahahaha! not trying to be mean but that's ridiculous. getting pregnant is the easiest part of it all, closely followed by the actual pregnancy and giving birth. its what comes after that puts the fear of God into you.
so, seriously, have one first.
remember, with kids, its about quality (of life), not quantity (of kids) ;)

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My SIL have had 4 kids in 5 years. Its hard, but doable. She isnt much "sick" during the pregnancy, nor afterwards. Usually she is back in shape within a month post-delivery. If you saw her, you wouldnt believe she is mother of 5 and that too within 7 years. In my lala-world she is superwoman in this sense.

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^ she's a superwoman in ANY world! and she's got great genes to boot! good for her!