Re: ~Family or love?~
Parent’s dont always want best for their chidlren, most of the time they want what’s best for the family and sociecty..:hinna:
believe na kerny sy kia hota
love to bas ho jata hy :jano:
Re: ~Family or love?~
^ bilkul hojata hai
Through personal experience I can say my parents are reasonable and experienced people. They're not materialistic...ask for basic things in a man...education, responsibility, sound character, Islam, etc. If they dont find those things in a person, its a no and I agree with them. When they reject someone its because they see something I dont see.
Personally, I find it best to go through your family but have a good head on your own shoulders too. Meaning, involve your family but make sure you know what you're doing as well. Dont be blind about it either. :)
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For the unconscious minds..
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Jab pyar kartey howey nahi soocha tou shaadi mein kion soochtey ho?
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Option 2 and 3 is “saudey.baazi”, woh “pyar” nahi hai. You’re ruining two lives simultaneously.
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Its a man’s job to fight for the girl’s honor and make his family unite on his decision. He has to step up to convince her parents as well. Its a no brainier, no wonder every family rejects the boys because he can’t even catch a nerve to talk the girl’s parents.
**4. Family is family and the person I love becomes a part of my family. This is what families do and if they can’t accept it, you’ll just have to make them accept it.
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Pyar Kiya To Darna Kya??
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3. Its a man's job to fight for the girl's honor and make his family unite on his decision. He has to step up to convince her parents as well. Its a no brainier, no wonder every family rejects the boys because he can't even catch a nerve to talk the girl's parents.
interesting point, what's the point of making promices to a girl, then last minute chickening out. then say "ur family will never accept me" how do they know if they dont even try....
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A Quick History Lesson: On Love.
We all know about the monstrous Genghis Khan but do we know he married for love? According to the legend, Genghis, 9, along with his father was on his way to marry into a rich tribe but at a stop over, he falls in love with a girl. He picks her to be his bride to be. As a result of his decision, his father, a chief, was poisoned by the rival tribe. The tribe turned him into a slave and also tried to kill Genghis khan but he survived. Consequently, he wasn’t accepted in the general mongol socialites and he spent his teenage years alone in hiding. Years later, when he was 17, he goes back to get his bride to be. Only days after his marriage, his wife was kidnapped and raped...
And this is where it gets interesting...
According to Mongol customs,
1. Two tribes cannot wage war over a woman.
2. Once a woman is rapped, the husband does not accept her back and she becomes the property of the new man.
Genghis, a nobody at that time, forms alliance with his half-brother to wage war to get his woman back. He was the first mongol ever to attempt this. And he does get her back but by that time she is 8 months pregnant. Still the first thing he tells her is, “This is my child.”
I’m not even going to go in details of how he was later imprisoned for a decade in China and the only person to come to his rescue was his wife... who by then had 2 kids. Yet after all this, the successors to his empire were the kids from his first wife. Beat that now!
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"ur family will never accept me" how do they if they dont even try....
** Try Try Again Until Success.**
Re: ~Family or love?~
^ what a unique outlook..
has this been recorded anywhere?
Re: ~Family or love?~
Navaid: love your outlook on this matter. 
You da man!
History is recorded on paper, not on blogs so you’re not going to find it on internet or Wikipedia but yes if you visit Library Archives, they might just have a copy of writings that Genghis’s wife dictated. They are in Chinese Clerkly Script so you might have to get an English translation. Oh and it’s an accepted fact among historians that Genghis’s history was written by his rivals. Hence his character, which inspired a nation to rise above the divisions of the past, gets lost. 
You’re too kind.
Try Try Again Until Success.
interesting stuff, but it's not me who need's to be told this...
Agreed.
My turn!
Re: ~Family or love?~
2 and 3.
Like others have mentioned, if family disagree with your choice, there has to be a reason. My parents are reasonable yet however if they said no, I would respect them for their decision. They are not my 'dushman' that they would want bad for me.
My parents were/are the ones who gave me the best times of my life. They were the ones who gave/give me unconditional love and support me. The least I can do is respect their decisions and make them happy. If I was faced with this situation, I would always put my family first.
Yeah you are right but its mostly chaudhary ppl are like this,
PS…Not having a go at you or ur family, but i have come across with families like this! and mostly these cases comes from chaudhary families wonder why 
Re: ~Family or love?~
[QUOTE]
What would u do if ur family came in the way of the person u loved, and u was unable to marry them.....
Would u:
Leave ur family to be with the person u love
Make ur Family Happy, and try ur best to forget about the person
Marry someone else with ur familys blessing, and hope u will learn to be happy with ur new Marriage
become a Devdas
[/QUOTE]
Although I am happily married and my parents gave their full blessing when they met the guy I wanted to marry, if I were ever in this situation I think I would have to choose 2&3....as they say, husbands come and go, but parents are forever!
I would go for 2 and 3 because paradise lies in the feet of your mother and I cant even think of hurting her. BUT I believe these are extreme scenarios, and its always best to have a mix of both - because you need your parents opinions, advice in these matters and at the same time use your own judgment based on your own parameters.
If there is a conflict of interest, then you have to learn to effectively communicate why "he" is going to be the "right" person and at the same time understand why your parents think otherwise. If both parties are mature enough and understand each other's standpoint it should not be a problem.
I think the most important thing is that you have to figure out what kind of person are you looking for first and then be able to communicate that with your parents. This way you reduce the chances of ugly surprises (by mentally preparing each other) if either you find one on your own or they find one for you.
Re: ~Family or love?~
I would never give up my fiancee for anything or anyone in the whole wide world. He is everything to me. However, when I first met him I told him that we would not proceed with the relationship if we did not have the blessings of either of our sets of parents.
My family comes first, but I wouldn't even think of dating someone unless I had their blessings.
Re: ~Family or love?~
If it was my ex then it would have been family. He left me broken heart:(
Re: ~Family or love?~
Oh.....I have not been in this type of situation...so somebody send me someone to fall in love, then I'll see how i react...:p
:D