asking for khandaan’s contact info of a rishta isn’t something unheard of, is it? This one rishta I got, the boys fam got really worked up about it when my father asked for information about their family and its been almost 5 days and they haven’t responded with anything about their family’s info in Pak…and suddenly the boy–who talked to me everyday–hasn’t emailed/imed/initiated contact since our parents talked and coincidentally isn’t online ever (pretty sure I got blocked). He had added me on fb too whcih I hadn’t accepted and suddenly that request had disappeared…
Red lights are going off in my head because they did allll their research about my family before coming (I found out they had been asking around) but they flipped out when we did, saying that the entire concept is so dated and no one inquires about family anymore. I know my family’s traditional, but we’re not crazy…we think they’re lying about their zaat. I don’t really care or believe in that stuff but what worries me is that if they are covering something like that up, then that means there could be a lot of other lies that we’re being told…
I"m not overreacting am I? I was thinking it could just be that he got busy with school and whatnot but that’s too many coincidences happening at once…
why do you have to email/im/fb etc potential rishta guys/girls when you know there might not be any future with them?
why make them part of your life/be part of their life, when there is a 50/50 chance of no future?
asking for khandaan's contact info of a rishta isn't something unheard of, is it? This one rishta I got, the boys fam got really worked up about it when my father asked for information about their family and its been almost 5 days and they haven't responded with anything about their family's info in Pak...and suddenly the boy--who talked to me everyday--hasn't emailed/imed/initiated contact since our parents talked and coincidentally isn't online ever (pretty sure I got blocked). He had added me on fb too whcih I hadn't accepted and suddenly that request had disappeared...
Red lights are going off in my head because they did allll their research about my family before coming (I found out they had been asking around) but they flipped out when we did, saying that the entire concept is so dated and no one inquires about family anymore. I know my family's traditional, but we're not crazy...we think they're lying about their zaat. I don't really care or believe in that stuff but what worries me is that if they are covering something like that up, then that means there could be a lot of other lies that we're being told...
I"m not overreacting am I? I was thinking it could just be that he got busy with school and whatnot but that's too many coincidences happening at once...
why do you have to email/im/fb etc potential rishta guys/girls when you know there might not be any future with them?
I wasn't keeping in touch with him that much, but what I"m saying is that HE was initiating convo through all mediums up till...a few days ago when he vanished. And up till this point, it seemed like it was a go...in our wildest dreams we didn't imagine that there would be a holdup over them disclosing family ka pata and stuff like that.
Your not overreacting, there seems to be a deeper issue with the family. If I were you, I would end further interaction with them. Most families make enquiries - it's the common sense thing to do, afterall people are marrying their kids off, and they need to know all the basic, but very important facts of the other family. This ensures that no problems arise later on and the other family cannot use the defence that 'nobody asked'.
By chance, if you do decide to go ahead with this and find out the deeper issues later on, it will be harder to get out of the relationship. And, it also shows the guy is a bit of a mummy's boy, imo.
Your not overreacting, there seems to be a deeper issue with the family. If I were you, I would end further interaction with them. Most families make enquiries - it's the common sense thing to do, afterall people are marrying their kids off, and they need to know all the basic, but very important facts of the other family. This ensures that no problems arise later on and the other family cannot use the defence that 'nobody asked'.
By chance, if you do decide to go ahead with this and find out the deeper issues later on, it will be harder to get out of the relationship. And, it also shows the guy is a bit of a mummy's boy, imo.
I'm really mad at myself because this is the same rishta i had asked about earlier (with the mom spazzing about how my parents asked her son questions) and I gave them another chance...this is the 2nd time (and DEF last) that they disrespected my family and me like this
Also is it really sad/pathetic/creepy that this entire situation reminds me of the drama "Uraan"....I don't know how else to describe the guy...like you're an adult now...ACT LIKE ONE.
I'm glad you've decided not to go further with this, and don't be mad at yourself....if you hadn't given the guy a second chance, you may have ended up questioning why you didn't.
Just put it down to experience and move on, your prince charming is out there somewhere; you just have to bide your time. :)
soconfused... you have already given few chances to that guy and family. I don't think he deserves you. They are hiding something or may have misinformed your parents about something. Better not to give them any more chances.
it's really hard stopping myself from writing a really nasty email to the guy about how he needs to grow a pair...I think I've written and deleted variations of that emails like 4 x at this point but I don't think its a good idea to send it...now I need to figure out when to delete his sister/cousin from fb...
So it's been a month and they haven't contacted...I deleted his family from fb--expecting the sister/dad who were emailing me all the time to write something about 'hey, what's going on? what's wrong"--but...NOTHING. Good riddance, indeed! Sick, mental family. I think I'm gonna focus on school and wait till 25-26 before I consider entering this marriage game again.
dont close yourself off to the concept of marriage because of one nutso family. it can take years to find the right person - there are good and bad people out there. dont let the weirdos make you sour on the concept.
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