falling in love

[Deeba1234]

Re: falling in love

@stoppit

I think it’s a bit naive to think an arranged marriage is “safer”. Also, from what I have seen, parents actually often neglect to do their research properly in terms of family background. And compatibility with the actual potential spouse is often overlooked. Most parents become so preoccupied in just wanting to marry their child, they miss a lot of stuff. Both can work if you go about it the right way.

Agree.. I’ve heard of plenty of parents who will only look at family members (no matter how little they have in common with their own son/daughter), caste etc.. things that in themselves have little or nothing to do with the two partners being compatible.. There are also all those ‘passport marriages’, can people really claim that parents are always doing what is best for their kids??

And Nisha, this is subjective:

‘when it comes to “love” marriage you rarely check **family background and all the other important factors that make a marriage work.’

**Surely rather than ‘family background’ it’s more important that the two actual people getting married have the most compatibility (or some sort of ‘bond’), but this often gets overlooked by family members who are looking for prospectives who have more in common with themselves than their son/daughter.

Am not saying love marriages are better than arranged because honestly it depends on the person, some ppl are far better off with an arranged marriage and for others it’s the polar opposite.. For me I would have felt ‘suffocated’ ending up with the son of one of my parents’ friends with maybe my whole life already mapped out in front of me.. For others, it’s what they really want and look forward to as it gives them that sense of comfort + security being surrounded by ‘their’ people..

Regarding what happens ‘if you get hurt/dumped’ by the other person in a love match’ if you’re an adult really you should be able to handle this, it’s a bit melodramatic and naive to think that it’s such a huge deal to not be worth ever loving somone in the first place.. Obviously it can take a long time to get over the person and I know it’s a cliche but I really do think it can sometimes mature a person or make them stronger.. Imo someone who can’t handle a relationship breakup (I’m talking late teens, early twenties onwards) prob isn’t ‘all there’ mentally, should they never work incase they lose their job either??

As Stoppit said love or arranged can both work if u go about them the right way..