What motivates someone to become fake? And how do you deal with fake people that you might be working with? You have to work with them, so ignoring them is really not a big option.
I’ve been trying the “I - keep - smiling - no - matter - what - you - do - to - me” approach - and its working. I mean, let sleeping dogs lie asleep. But then, its like I’ll get these nice lovely messages from people and I know it means nothing, and quite opposite in fact.
furrows brow
Do I just take the compliments and nice remarks and smile about it and then toss them and never think twice about them because they’re flat out lies?
Blah - you guys have any clue what I’m talking about? I hate being nice to people just because I work with them. I mean, if it weren’t the case, then I wouldn’t look at them twice.
I haven't met any fake person in my life; even those whom I considered fake initially were only because of the lack of my own understanding. I genuinely accept people as they are and hence they don't need to be fake in front of me....
Witchdr, you are right. The outer world is a reflection of our inner, so if we see discord we will get it. It happened to me too, and I feel now as if I was the one who was fake. It seemed to me as if some people held grudges against me, but now the same people are genuinely warm and friendly. The key is to not JUDGE anyone or anything.
What motivates someone to become fake? And how do you deal with fake people that you might be working with? You have to work with them, so ignoring them is really not a big option.
I've been trying the "I - keep - smiling - no - matter - what - you - do - to - me" approach - and its working. I mean, let sleeping dogs lie asleep. But then, its like I'll get these nice lovely messages from people and I know it means nothing, and quite opposite in fact.
furrows brow
Do I just take the compliments and nice remarks and smile about it and then toss them and never think twice about them because they're flat out lies?
Blah - you guys have any clue what I'm talking about? I hate being nice to people just because I work with them. I mean, if it weren't the case, then I wouldn't look at them twice.
You are taking exactly the right approach by smiling and moving on. That approach will ensure that you also move up! lol! It doesnt make you "fake" to smile, be polite and move on....it makes you classy and polite and able to deal with everyone, not just those who you happen to like.
I've had to deal with many of these types when I was working but that was a number of years ago. It doesnt change tho lol!! NOW I'm a stay-at-home mom and while most of the other mothers are great, there are ALSO the fake uppity wannabes who want to know how big your house is, where your hubby works and what is his title.
Theres just no avoiding them so smile and move on just like youre doing.
u can’t change anyone’s attitude towards u whether bad , fake or unacceptable , but u could accept the way they 're & stop expecting any good from such people , in the mean time keep yr focus on what-so-ever u’ve to do & ignore them ( or trash) as if they don’t even exist … it’s not just happening at yr work place but this whole world is full of such crappy people .
You are taking exactly the right approach by smiling and moving on. That approach will ensure that you also move up! lol! It doesnt make you "fake" to smile, be polite and move on....it makes you classy and polite and able to deal with everyone, not just those who you happen to like.
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In our dictionary fake is a person who is feeling something else and portraying something else..
You have to consider though...an example. Someone who you KNOW doesnt like you and is being sarcastic tells you "I like your outfit today, you look very nice." But what they ACTUALLY mean is they think you look like crap and you KNOW it. In either a business setting OR a personal setting, its a very classy thing to respond with a Thank You, a small smile and move on. Thats just basic manners and yeah you dont mean it, you actually mean f**k you, my dry cleaning is a day late" but if you actually SAY this to the person then YOU become the bad person.
So many times, Ive seen in desi culture the politeness that the younger ones have for the elders yet they curse the elders ceaselessly behind their backs. Isnt that being "fake" too? Or is it just having RESPECT and being polite???
Theres a fine line here though....between being "fake" and being "polite". It takes class to know the difference and even more, to be able to handle every social situation in a way that offends NO ONE. There is nothing at all wrong in being polite. whether you actually mean it or not, its just classy to be polite. There are certain rare times when its necessary to be rude but these instances are really few I think. When you are seen as someone who can deal with any and all people, most particularly in a business setting, you become that much more valuable to your boss, your co-workers, your company. Beleive me, it doesnt go unnoticed.
Just a last thought....when you do follow this thru, smile and move on - doesnt it make your life that much nicer too? Instead of saying what you REALLY think, getting into it with D*heads and getting yourself all annoyed...you smile, think "what a "d*k" and move on, no prob, no fuss, no stress.
depends on what people mean by being fake. most people i've seen in my life are fake in one way or the other, and it doesn't bother me. deception and backstabbing are the traits i can't put up with, esp. from those who claim to be my friends. so i'll judge fake people by what they're trying to achieve through this fakery.
I agree with a few of you who’ve said that we’re all fake in one way or another. To me fake is the opposite of genuine, and if you’re not acting congruent to your inner feelings, i.e. not being genuine, then you’re probably exhibiting some mild level of fakeness as well.
That being said, I think PCG is referring to the more acute cases, and if I were to think about this in the context of the workplace, there generally always are people around you who will do whatever it takes to make themselves look good... people who take credit for other’s work… people who adjust their personalities to be able to fit into certain groups etc.
I guess the level of fakeness is proportionate to the magnitude of hypocrisy that one engages in. A lot of times, fakeness stems from one’s own insecurities… I’ve seen people become pathological liars just to try to fit into a certain group.
What the hell? Fake people? How can you say that someone who has a smile mounted on his face is being "fake". Doesn't that mean that everyone is fake?
I mean when your non-Muslim friend invites you at his home you tighten your smile and talk him off with "Oh sorry I'm so busy" while what you really are thinking is "What the f***? Are you normal? I'm a Muslim, you're non-Muslim". < I've experienced something similar (with a Muslim guy, just cuz he wasn't Paki and he was Canadian-bred) and believe me I don't think there's anything fake about it. It's just called "trying to keep your calm"... and I really hate people who immediately go out of control.
Now if someone gets plastic surgery... that is FAKE. Hmm... am I being too practical?
When my non-muslim friend invites me over to his home, I usually go, unless I hate the kid. I don't understand how that has anything to do with what I'm talking about?
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