Our Pakistani society, being fair is plus point. Is this still an issue amongst us newer generation?
I know we don’t like to think of ourselves to be judgmental but are we all subconsciously conscious of our skin tone and attracted to others who may be fair, rather than those who are not?
I've seen a couple of parents being so fussed about their daughters' skin color that even if no one else ever commented on them, the parents themselves are responsible for a dwindling confidence level.
And yes, as much as I hate the system, I'll be worried if my daughter is on the darker side or even darker than me. Not for anything else but because of the way desi women react...apply this, do that..lol what the heck. It takes a toll on the child's confidence level.
I agree. My 13 year old niece from Pakistan thinks so highly of herself, but majority of her sentences go on like this "she said I looked so pretty, in winter my complexion is good thats why" lol
Parents shouldn't be bringing that up at all, it's cruel.
However, if one is still bent on arranged marriages for their offspring, then they shouldn't have any problems with rishta seekers taking that into consideration because everyone has their preferences, and their choices will be based on their preferences. Yes, it's still happening in Pakistan, and both boys and girls are subjected a skin tone check. I think the whole arranged marriage route is backward and makes such silly trivial things legitimate issues.
Those that fall in love and marry each other; for them complexion is meaningless. For everything else, its just like going to a market and picking the fairest piece you could find.
Our Pakistani society, being fair is plus point. Is this still an issue amongst us newer generation?
I know we don’t like to think of ourselves to be judgmental but are we all subconsciously conscious of our skin tone and attracted to others who may be fair, rather than those who are not?
Share an experience
i am not sure if its an issue amongst newer generation.
i prefer and like fair people probably because i am quite fair myself. (exceptions)
but what i have seen is that if your are fair people automatically assume that you are gonna be pretty/handsome.
Just go look in the FB and Weddings section on GS...lots of girls have complexes about fair skin and so on. It doesnt do anyone any good and makes the person feel horrible about themselves.
As for the preference part...its all ingrained in us. What we consider beauty is not an opinion we are born with...it is conditioned within us since the day we are born.
What can be done about it though? Our people will forever stay this way and there is nothing we can do about it.
Parents shouldn't be bringing that up at all, it's cruel.
However, if one is still bent on arranged marriages for their offspring, then they shouldn't have any problems with rishta seekers taking that into consideration because everyone has their preferences, and their choices will be based on their preferences. Yes, it's still happening in Pakistan, and both boys and girls are subjected a skin tone check. I think the whole arranged marriage route is backward and makes such silly trivial things legitimate issues.
Those that fall in love and marry each other; for them complexion is meaningless. For everything else, its just like going to a market and picking the fairest piece you could find.
There is no alternative to the arranged marriage route, not when in your society males and females do not socialise.
We CAN do something about it and create a change.
By teaching our children the right things. And then they will teach their children etc etc…
Teach your children that it doesnt matter what colour you have.
Teach your children that it isnt jaahil to speak in Punjabi (or any other regional language).
Teach your children that paindu doesnt mean idiot. This word (paindu) has been raped to death (didnt know how to say it in a more decent way ).
and such other retarded things
This thread is about skincolour, but all above topics fall under the same category: Retardism.
Many times on this forum i have seen such retarded comments made by very aala taleem yafta people who dont realise how retarded their thinking is.
They took over that mentality from their parents and unfortunately their children will learn it from them.
So we can make the change by teaching our children good things.
Even if the change is small, shuruwaat tau aye.
This isn't just restricted to Pakistanis. I have a white Jewish friend who says he likes his women pale, and all other women are "too ethnic" for him. I see where he's coming from. Skin color isn't all that important to me, but I find Caucasian facial features to be prettier (small chin, wider lips, narrow noses).
I never believed fair = lovely because i'm mixed and one side of my culture embraces dark skin and sees that as a sign of beauty and being exotic. The pakistani side of my family however does not see it that way.
It was annoying too because my dad's sister still stays in my house and says stupid things to me about drinking mint tea for lighter color or getting fair and lovely cream when personally i'm in much better shape and i like to think i am prettier than her daughter.
Skin color has been discussed time and time again in my house as it is in most desi homes however I will say for msot of my life I appreciated both dusky beauty and fair beauty. I never thought one was better than the other.
I also liked that bollywood was changing and embracing real skin tones. Like Rani Mukherjee was super fair in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, then in Hum Tum she finally got to be her real color and hasn't been fair and lovely ever since.
Bipasha Basu paved the way for dark girls to not just stay in the back as a dancer but to come center stage and even be a leading lady.
Priyanka Chopra when she first started they made her fair and used makeup at times to hide her real color but now she embraces it and i love that.
I think bollywood has realized their actresses should look more like the common desi at least in skin tone. For a long time your avg indian model was dusky and when you compare a typical top indian model to a typical top pakistani model you will see the indian one is darker, has sharper features and what not.
Then I met a pair of twins. They looked alike and one was dark and one was light and I realized that maybe sometimes fair really is lovely. I was shocked but to be honest the lighter one was more attractive to my eyes and it made me wonder about this debate again.
At the end of the day bleaching skin is harmful, can give you skin cancer and no beauty is worth that. I encourage everyone to be happy with the skin that they are in but I have realized sometimes people do look better fair.