LOL.. I have been through tthis quite often. My first best friend F was so sweet and nice to me and she was my best friend for 1 and a half years in university and then she stopped talking to me and changed etc. 5 months later I change and become all social and girly girl and she comes to me and is like sorry mai uswaqt tumhare saath acha nahi kya par mai dil ki achi ho give me another chance I want to be ur friend again etc etc but I told her too late. I got another best friend^and I am sticking with her this time around. She got pissed but then she is like acha theik hai. Now I do meet her and we have fun but I do remember what she did to me and I do not trust her blindly now. Even I am going to meet her next week for dinner but it is going to be very formal.
Thing is, if some one cannot put two words properly without being rude, sarcastic or blunt, what good there heart is. Having bitter experience in life does not give you a right to be bitter to people.
acha. You know, my mom has a beautiful heart and was just the best mom on the planet. But once her kids left the nest, she started to become meaner and meaner year by year. In a way, she kind of does have a right to her mean nature but more than that, she needs to feel loved and respected no matter what her demeanor is. So I take what she dishes out.
*burp**** yup. her dishes surely give me indigestion lol!!! but I still take it!
I was having some discussion with some mods on different things and I thought that I ask you guys these two questions
How do you treat people.
Do you take their statements at face value or you try to read between the lines.
Also, do you ignore someone's rude comment cause that person is 'dil ka achcha' or no
*** Rude comments are Rude comments ! Period ! ***
**"dil ka acha " doesn't cut it if someone is obnoxious or rude , or makes snide remarks .....just shows they are not what they seem. **
**Secondly most statements have to be interpreted in the context of the relationship shared by the individuals and their past history. **
If it is a relationship which is close and friendly then yes things can be taken at face value to an extent and taken lightly however if these statements have a recurring fashion then one must read between the lines. Lots of people are good at sugar-coating their innate snide-ness .
**As far as ignoring someone's rude comment then if someone is ready to dish it out then they should be ready to suck it up as well ! **
it really depends on the person and how well i know them.
I know some people (including an uncle of mine) who doesnt know how to speak properly...meaning he sounds rude in his tone and things just come out all wrong. However he is the most generous kind hearted man I have ever met. I know this because he is my uncle...however others think he is rude/blunt and just plain ol mean. When he says things to me that may come out rude or obnoxious..I ignore it because I remind myself of the the good heart he has and the things he has done for me and the community.
For every bad quality a person may have....there may be 10 good qualties to make up for it. We should try to remember those good things....especially if that person is near and dear to you.
Edit: with that said...I dont expect people that DONT know the person to put up with their rude (or often times what may appear to be rude) behavior.
I was having some discussion with some mods on different things and I thought that I ask you guys these two questions
How do you treat people.
Do you take their statements at face value or you try to read between the lines.
Also, do you ignore someone's rude comment cause that person is 'dil ka achcha' or no
Discussion with some mods.............Via video conference? just trying to figure GS out...anyways to answer your question
I am not good at reading between the lines, so usually I take the statements at it's face value and I am still working on the trick of ignoring rude comments by some people but diplomatically.
It means when anyone says something or utter something then whatever is said is no longer is the property of the person who said the sentence.
The listener can take the meaning in whatever context the listener understand.
In this context, the person who says something should be careful what that person really wants to say.
BUT
1- the listener may take the wrong meaning based on his/her own understanding which may be different and even opposite to the person who said something.
2- Mistakes can happen and if the listener has any doubt then **listener should clarify the meaning.
**
In the end the listener does have responsibility to take the whatever is spoken or written in the best interest of both individuals.
Example: Many people do not know what to choose the right word (specially in any foreign language) for conveying the correct message and those people should not be held responsible for any mistake.
If every single person I know confronted me for al my rude comments, I’d have no friends left. So i am very very very very very thankful to my friends who have gritted their teeth and ignored my stupid, hurtful comments (majority whe I make unintentionally). fr them
Anyways, I think life is too short to waste time “reading between the lines.” i dont have time to waste on sly, 2-faced people, if u can’t say it outright then dont talk to me. Though I hate to admit that sometimes it’s better to be subtle/etc. Why? b/c I used to get VERY annoyed at these things, now I get to annoy others.
To answer the second question: It really depends. I have 2 friends who sometimes make rude comments that I ignore.. one b/c well i’ve said alot more stupid stuff to em and the second b/c i just can’t confront her. If ure close iwht the person, it depends on their personality/character/your relationship with them whether u should confront a rude comment or not… as a friend, if they are going through something rough, its your job as a friend to understand their position and decide whether it’s worth confronting or not.
[QUOTE]
. Do you take their statements at face value or you try to read between the lines.
[/QUOTE]
depend on statement
ajj kal logooN kay DO chehray hotay hain or ajj kal LAfzoon kay bhi kayee maani hotay hain ..mujh jaysay ahmaq log dono sortooN main bewaqoof ban jatay hain ...
Also, do you ignore someone's rude comment cause that person is 'dil ka achcha' or no
Most of the time I take comments for face value UNLESS the comment is blatantly and openly implying something.
That depends on you, how well you know them and also how far you are willing to go to forgive their bitterness. I know people who are generally very nice to me but because of their experiences in life are a bit high strung and quick tempered. Because Im close to them and understand their lives, I ignore SOME things but definitely not all. Even my bestest friends have heard it from me when I thought they crossed boundaries they shouldnt have. That is also part of friendship and understanding people…being honest with them even about their shortcomings.
Dil ka acha tab hota hai insan jab uska sulooq dosron ke saat acha ho. Jab vo apke saat acha nahin hai to dil ka kahan se acha huwa? Doesnt make sense…if he is being rude to you on purpose and its part of their attitude then their dil is obviously due for a reality check.
*** Rude comments are Rude comments ! Period ! ***
**"dil ka acha " doesn't cut it if someone is obnoxious or rude , or makes snide remarks .....just shows they are not what they seem. **
**Secondly most statements have to be interpreted in the context of the relationship shared by the individuals and their past history. **
If it is a relationship which is close and friendly then yes things can be taken at face value to an extent and taken lightly however if these statements have a recurring fashion then one must read between the lines. Lots of people are good at sugar-coating their innate snide-ness .
**As far as ignoring someone's rude comment then if someone is ready to dish it out then they should be ready to suck it up as well ! **
Who cares what their "dil" is like if their comments are rude and obnoxious? I certainly don't!
Sometimes people are very sneaky and say double-meaning things that only you and them know about.. to an outsider or neutral it may seem as normal conversation.
I was having some discussion with some mods on different things and I thought that I ask you guys these two questions
How do you treat people.
Do you take their statements at face value or you try to read between the lines.
Also, do you ignore someone's rude comment cause that person is 'dil ka achcha' or no
It all depends on what kind of relationship you have with those people. If you have business, work , casual relationship with someone you will surely try to read between the lines to safeguard your interests. But if it is your family and intimate friends and you are sure that they are not going to hurt you in any way then you then do not try to read between the lines. And you will surely ignore the rude comments by your friends and family if you know that this person is good at heart.
***I went on to say if the comments had a recurring fashion then one must "read between the lines. ***
“Lots of people are good at sugar-coating their innate snide-ness .”
I for one would not tolerate anyone’s mean-ness or rude-ness if the only excuse that one can make for their behaviour is a flimsy "dil ka tho acha hai " …dil ka kya mein achaar daloongi
As far your concerned Chachu Jaan then yeah you already know my answer to that question
And NO you cannot be rude to me , you know that is injurious to your health
no it doesnt mean that they should be rude to us …some people just do not know how to communicate properly and may outwardly appear rude when in fact that was not their intention…like in the example of my uncle. This is just the way he talks. I dont expect others that do not know him to put up with it tho.
you are dil ka acha insaan and it shows by the way you communicate with others. Not everyone knows how to express themselves properly …the way you do.
AND no you can not be rude to me BUT if you were rude to me at any given point…I would ignore it because I will assume you were having a bad day.
fr them
and the second b/c i just can’t confront her. If ure close iwht the person, it depends on their personality/character/your relationship with them whether u should confront a rude comment or not… as a friend, if they are going through something rough, its your job as a friend to understand their position and decide whether it’s worth confronting or not.
BUT if you were rude to me at any given point…I would ignore it because I will assume you were having a bad day. 
