Extreme depression!!!! want to talk it out...

krash · December 14, 2015, 5:44pm

Re: Extreme depression!!!! want to talk it out...

Ahmed_Waqar:

Thanku everyone. So here it goes... About a year ago November, i became very determined to lose weight(was extremely overweight 98kg) , i started working oit for 4 to 5 hours a day and was eating very little( 1200 cal) i lost weight, 24 kg( was 74kg now) till end of December. I became very happy because even though my weight looks heavy but i looked extremely fit so i continued with my diet and thn came my papers and i stopped working out but lowerd my eating. Thn aftr papers started working out bt again left and thn came ramadan. Thn i started working out in the home and began to eat very little. In August i weighd myself and i was 66kg. I was becoming weaker and weaker. And now i have started going to gym again in the morning. I barely eat 1000 cal a day and if im lucky 1500. Lift weights 1 and half hour. Do cardio 1 hour 4 -5 times a week. My parents are worried but they dont know what is going on inside me. If i do a cheat meal, i dont anything that day except my cheat meal and also fast the day after. And its not that big of a cheat meal. I also do damage control. And i forgot to mention, from march to September i was becoming more and more bulimiac day by day but now i have completely overcomed it by doing palnned binges and then controlling myself. I want to gain muscle look good,eat 3000 cal like everyone else does. But im sooo afraid of gaining weight. Plus my studies have started to suffer so much from. September. And now my desire to eat is decreasing day by day. What to do!!! My life is getting ruined. Im not eating even 5g of fat a day. Im so afraid of carbs. First i use to do a cheat day but now i have stopped doing it. My bones are becoming more and more visible day by day. And this is just the one part of my story!!!!! I know im killing myself from inside but wht to do!!! Really sorry for the long message...

You are suffering from a serious medical condition which may be partly psychological.
You must immediately inform your parents and seek professional medical help.
No need to feel guilt or shame. This is a medical, not moral, condition.
You must get help immediately.

MustafaQuraishi · December 14, 2015, 5:47pm

Re: Extreme depression!!!! want to talk it out...

Village near marala = Thats my village :)

Ahmed_Waqar · December 15, 2015, 5:29am

Re: Extreme depression!!!! want to talk it out...

Ok so im really sorry for the last very lond post...
This is my most of prob. I know that i should be eating more and im trying despratelty with that but the prob is that if one day i study very well i just think that this depression wont come in again and the next day im sitting infront of my books crying all day alone. Cant think of anything but to kill myself because i have wasted 3 months of my precious time. And just thinking that i cant waste anymore. I have to study every minute every second. But just cant concentrate. I dont know y. And when this happens i lose interest in eating and everything. Today im fine. But who knows maybe next few days im back crying and weeping. I cant tell this to my counselor, if i do he will declare me sucidal and keep me in clinical observation. I cant lose any moment from now on, i have to study. When i cant study i just cry and when night comes i go in the bed and start crying their for hours. I cant fight this anymore!! My life is ruining.. im the only son in my faimly and have to live my parents dream. I just cant do that anymore!!!!

Midnight_express_91 · December 15, 2015, 5:12pm

What you're going through is not that uncommon. Mate you're only 17 you have your whole life ahead of you. Help is out there. You're your own unique person with your own experiences. There will never be another you, ever. Tell yourself that. And I guarantee you, you'll live a happier life. But before that, seek professional help. I can understand your apprehension in approaching your parents. They're not the easiest to talk about how you feel to - it's just not the kind of culture they're from

Southie · December 16, 2015, 6:34am

Re: Extreme depression!!!! want to talk it out...

Some very good advice given here. This part caught my attention

"My life is ruining.. im the only son in my faimly and have to live my parents dream. I just cant do that anymore!!!!"

You are correct. You should not, in my opinion, be living your parents dream. You should do the best you can, and not put undue pressure on yourself. This does not diminish your regard for your parents. Each of us has to take care of ourselves - for if we don't, we will not be able to function.

So maybe you need to focus on being the best person YOU can be - and not worry incessantly about letting down your parents.

Your posts indicate you do need some professional help. As a 17 year old, you are truly ahead of most people your age. So don't beat yourself up over what you perceive as failure - these appear to be normal setbacks each of us encounters in our daily lives.

Please seek counseling - don't worry about losing some time. If a person has cancer that person will not hesitate to get treatment. Neither should a person who has severe depression.

Good luck to you.

Theorist · December 16, 2015, 7:39am

Re: Extreme depression!!!! want to talk it out...

Ahmed_Waqar:

Ok so im really sorry for the last very lond post... This is my most of prob. I know that i should be eating more and im trying despratelty with that but the prob is that if one day i study very well i just think that this depression wont come in again and the next day im sitting infront of my books crying all day alone. Cant think of anything but to kill myself because i have wasted 3 months of my precious time. And just thinking that i cant waste anymore. I have to study every minute every second. But just cant concentrate. I dont know y. And when this happens i lose interest in eating and everything. Today im fine. But who knows maybe next few days im back crying and weeping. I cant tell this to my counselor, if i do he will declare me sucidal and keep me in clinical observation. I cant lose any moment from now on, i have to study. When i cant study i just cry and when night comes i go in the bed and start crying their for hours. I cant fight this anymore!! My life is ruining.. im the only son in my faimly and have to live my parents dream. I just cant do that anymore!!!!

If you have been making plans to commit suicide, you must tell your councelor/therapist.They will definitely keep you under their watch and it will help you. If you feel you can spare yourself a few months and control your suicidal thoughts, see a doctor and tell him you are depressed. The doctor will prescribe you some antidepressants. The first few weeks are pretty bad but it gets better, trust me.. It truly saved my life.

fairytopia · December 16, 2015, 9:47am

Re: Extreme depression!!!! want to talk it out...

You can try the Pomodoro Technique for studying where you set a timer for 25 minutes and then focus on studying then after the time is up take a 5 minute break to do whatever you want. This is the most effective technique I know of and it helps a lot.

When is your exam? Have you tried to make a study schedule to study?

Ahmed_Waqar · December 16, 2015, 4:28pm

Re: Extreme depression!!!! want to talk it out...

Southie:

Some very good advice given here. This part caught my attention

"My life is ruining.. im the only son in my faimly and have to live my parents dream. I just cant do that anymore!!!!"

You are correct. You should not, in my opinion, be living your parents dream. You should do the best you can, and not put undue pressure on yourself. This does not diminish your regard for your parents. Each of us has to take care of ourselves - for if we don't, we will not be able to function.

So maybe you need to focus on being the best person YOU can be - and not worry incessantly about letting down your parents.

Your posts indicate you do need some professional help. As a 17 year old, you are truly ahead of most people your age. So don't beat yourself up over what you perceive as failure - these appear to be normal setbacks each of us encounters in our daily lives.

Please seek counseling - don't worry about losing some time. If a person has cancer that person will not hesitate to get treatment. Neither should a person who has severe depression.

Good luck to you.

Thanku for ur kindness... im trying my best for my papers.... my sister just got admission in medical university so im really jealous...but happy too..... i go to the counclr each week. She keeps on asking me through many ways but i somehow manage to see her off each week... im not even telling her 20% of my prob... i cant trust her... she cant do anything... if i tell her my probs she will just laugh at me.. or eaither tell me not to study for 1 month....i cant afford that and i dont want anyone laughing at me... but she doesn't know whats going on inside me....

Ahmed_Waqar · December 16, 2015, 4:32pm

Re: Extreme depression!!!! want to talk it out...

My exams are in March or April... i use to make a plan but most of the time fail and then i used to cry that night for hours and curse myself of being such a failure and not being able to learn that even though i use to study all day long.... i want to finish my course till February... thanku for ur concern....

gupper.shupper · December 16, 2015, 9:37pm

Re: Extreme depression!!! want to talk it out…

Okay listen, you are only 17!! At your young age, just concentrate on eating healthy, education and having fun. You will NEVER get this time back, NEVER another chance to be 17 when your parents are there for you, paying for all your bills and expenses. If you think you are going to fail, IT IS OKAY!!! Just try again. If you are not getting an admission in a university of your choice, do an extra semester and put in more hard work.

You have your whole life ahead of you: to stress out, to worry, to feel down but now is not the time for it. If you are having trouble, talk to your parents - confide in them. Yea, our parents have crazy high expectations from us but they will hear you out and be more understanding of your problems and concerns. Abhi zindagi main aur bhi baray baray pangay paray hain aagay. Abhi tou party shuru huwi hai.

About you weight issues, again it doesn’t take much to lose/gain weight. I have spent my entire life hearing that I am too skinny. Right now, I am having some health issues, and every *aera ghaera *tells me it is because I am so skinny. It mostly comes from all the fat people who are trying to lose weight themselves so I have convinced myself that it’s because they’re jealous that I can eat whatever I want and not gain weight.

You are an individual: every failure, achievement, setback, problem, mistake is going to make your life more enriching. You think all the successful people became successful so easy? Read about them, their stories. The more successful someone is today, the more crap they have had to go through. Only difference is: they didn’t give up, so why are you?

You know why some people are better salesmen than others? They don’t give up! Instead, they find creative ways to be persistent, to be assertive. Whether it be dealing with an angry customer or a customer who does not speak the same language, they try until they make the sale. Once they get what they want, all the trouble is so worth it. So just keep at it, until you get what you want out of your life.

Southie · December 17, 2015, 1:38am

Re: Extreme depression!!!! want to talk it out...

Your counselor is there to HELP you. She will not laugh at you. She will not know what is going on inside of you unless you open up to her and tell her the truth about what is going on. So please do not follow this path of not sharing. NE open. Be honest. Let her help you.

Pisiform · December 17, 2015, 3:27am

Re: Extreme depression!!!! want to talk it out...

Zoloft is your friend in these times .. don't discount medical therapy. Sometimes thats what you need for a push

Ahmed_Waqar · December 17, 2015, 6:04am

Re: Extreme depression!!! want to talk it out…

gupper.shupper:

Okay listen, you are only 17!! At your young age, just concentrate on eating healthy, education and having fun. You will NEVER get this time back, NEVER another chance to be 17 when your parents are there for you, paying for all your bills and expenses. If you think you are going to fail, IT IS OKAY!!! Just try again. If you are not getting an admission in a university of your choice, do an extra semester and put in more hard work.

You have your whole life ahead of you: to stress out, to worry, to feel down but now is not the time for it. If you are having trouble, talk to your parents - confide in them. Yea, our parents have crazy high expectations from us but they will hear you out and be more understanding of your problems and concerns. Abhi zindagi main aur bhi baray baray pangay paray hain aagay. Abhi tou party shuru huwi hai.

About you weight issues, again it doesn’t take much to lose/gain weight. I have spent my entire life hearing that I am too skinny. Right now, I am having some health issues, and every *aera ghaera *tells me it is because I am so skinny. It mostly comes from all the fat people who are trying to lose weight themselves so I have convinced myself that it’s because they’re jealous that I can eat whatever I want and not gain weight.

You are an individual: every failure, achievement, setback, problem, mistake is going to make your life more enriching. You think all the successful people became successful so easy? Read about them, their stories. The more successful someone is today, the more crap they have had to go through. Only difference is: they didn’t give up, so why are you?

You know why some people are better salesmen than others? They don’t give up! Instead, they find creative ways to be persistent, to be assertive. Whether it be dealing with an angry customer or a customer who does not speak the same language, they try until they make the sale. Once they get what they want, all the trouble is so worth it. So just keep at it, until you get what you want out of your life.

Really thankx for the support… my parents are not that forcing me because they somewhat know whats going on inside me because they have heard me crying alone and weeping.. nd whn they ask i turn it around. After all they both are doctors so they know what im going through or atleast have an idea but they dont know how extreme it is… they have spent there life on me and my sister… working hard for us and making us study in top school of Karachi… i just want to make them proud and make there efforts worth it… now they say that agar dil karta hai tou parho… but i know that deep inside they dont mean that and want me to study hard…but its not that simple… im trying my best to study… i will try to talk to my counselor this Friday i have an appointment… i will try but im sure that i will fail… thankx for the support…

Ahmed_Waqar · December 17, 2015, 6:07am

Re: Extreme depression!!!! want to talk it out...

Even if i did what gud will that do to me... she is not going to come home with me and talk to my parents about this and look after me..... she is not going to stay with me for 24/7.... she is just thre with me for 45 min in a week... she cant do anything more than just talking to me...

Southie · December 17, 2015, 6:24am

Re: Extreme depression!!!! want to talk it out...

Take it one step at a time. Don't overthink it. And don't underestimate what a professional counselor can do for you.

In every undertaking we have to do our part. With respect to counseling, DO YOUR PART. Cooperate. Trust the counselor to help you. And give her the information she needs so she can help you.

Accept that you need professional assistance. And then take it.

We are rooting for you.

Doppleganger · December 18, 2015, 3:30pm

Re: Extreme depression!!!! want to talk it out...

Please don't join ISIS.
Please don't join ISIS..
Please don't join ISIS...
Please don't join ISIS....
Please don't join ISIS.....

Ahmed_Waqar · December 18, 2015, 6:37pm

Re: Extreme depression!!!! want to talk it out...

What is isis?

Ahmed_Waqar · December 18, 2015, 6:38pm

Re: Extreme depression!!!! want to talk it out...

Im really thankx for all ur support guys.... still living to see what life is throwing at me again and again... God is testing me again and again... i will try to workout for myself....

Pisiform · December 19, 2015, 3:38am

Re: Extreme depression!!!! want to talk it out...

lol, I second that

Cansu · December 20, 2015, 9:40pm

Re: Extreme depression!!!! want to talk it out...

Hi Ahmed,

I am so sorry to hear about your struggle. It's great that you have taken the initiative to contact a psychologist. That's definitely a step in the right direction. I think you are putting way too much pressure on yourself. Even more than a handsome, smart or even a successful son your parents want a healthy son!! I say this from personal experience.

Take a year or semester off just to get your mental health in order. A psychological disease is no different than a physical one so please take the time and effort to take care of your mental health. There's nothing to be ashamed and its far common than you actually think. Unfortunately it's such a taboo subject in our society that no one wants to discuss it let alone find a solution to it.

Please discuss it with atleast one of your parents. The more support you have the better success you will have in your treatment. Don't isolate yourself go out make loyal friends, spend time with your family, do things around the house, make dua. Volunteering with the less fortunate is also a great way to relieve stress sometimes. Above all keep yourself busy with constructive stuff.