i dont get it…
how does a GUY make a statement like this about a GIRL? … no woman wants to work? and i guess all the working women of the world sent u emails telling you they really dont like what they do?
you still cant say “ALL” because i know i didnt send u such an email. i know i want to work…yeah there are days when i wake up in the morning and wish i could instead just sleep the day away but i think its safe to assume that most men also think like this on certain days.
if i dont work, i feel like a useless piece of flesh, i get body aches from waking up late…sleeping late, i adopt unhealthy habits…, watch too much tv, get involved in unnecessary family politics.
when i work i not only get to meet new people at a more formal level outside family politics but learn new things everyday. my body feels more active, i feel like im contributing to society. not only do i NOT depend on anyone for my expenses but i can also contribute to my household. my body automatically disciplines itself into waking up and sleeping early, getting everything done at a proper time and most mornings i just look forward to grabbing coffee and newspaper and heading off to work…
Third world country? <—i say it’s first… to be honest I don’t see anything here(USA) that they don’t have there(PAK) plus pak being one of the 8 countries in the world with nuclear power…i say you’re wrong buddy.
Rockie lovely, Pakistan is a Third world country. What use is nuclear power when you can neither feed nor educate the better part of your ever growing population. What is more ridiculous than forcefully (in most cases) rendering the larger majority of your workforce unemployed due to closeminded patheticness?
So far as Nia Khan is concerned, she is married
But whatever. You get who you deserve. Good luckwith that.
This is the kind of mentality I don’t understand, if Pak has everything that you have here, plus people speak your language and they’re all ‘muslims’ etc, why come to the US in the first place? This is not one of those “go back to your country..” posts, this is just an attempt to understand why come here if you think you have everything back in PAK?
Such issues are to be sorted out well in advance before complications arise. I cant digest such mentality in modern world. But then it is fair to say that we as a society still have to adapt to changing demands of world which is moving forward all the time.
Guy discusses with girl, how would you feel if you took a break from your career? (SHowing respect and care, not flaunting his dominance)
My mother and aunts have been working mom's all their lives, our house was never unruly, we did not turn out to brats, we didnt live off tv dinners, how she pulled it off... i still get amazed, abba appreciated ammas efforts both at home and work cause his salary alone was not sufficient for the needs and goals of our immediate family.
Once the orders or demands come into play, the marriage needs to be worked upon. But this is an observation, since im not married it would not be fair to step in those shoes or be able understand the true situation.
I haven’t read all the responses but this particular one caught my eye and with the little time that I have to write, I just couldn’t pass it by…
I’m surprised that people still believe that remaining in a bad situation with a husband that does not fulfill his responsibilities (or whatever is meant by a “bad husband” that “just won’t change”) will qualify you as a patient individual and ensure you a place in heaven! How absurd.
Why don’t you see it like this: Your life is a gift you have been granted by Allah and it is His wish that you live it in the manner that He has described in the Quran and through hadees. Nowhere does it say that you must endure pain and injustice. Nowhere does it suggest that you will be rewarded for punishing yourself in this fashion. In fact, you will find several references stating that it is a sin not only to inflict pain and injustice, but also to willingly suffer through it.
muzna welcome back. good comments. i agree with ya but the threshold for what is pain and the injust has been lowered a LOT these days... thus the increased divorce rate.
I don’t agree…If a wife, sister ot daughter of someone wishes to become a model for an underwear company, then as Muslim men, we must have enough ghairat and hayaa in ourselves to act…Otherwise, we are no better than Kafirs who proudly parade their women for others to see…
I already live in the 21st century but my traditions and beliefs are timeless…You are welcome to throw those away if it means you can’t enter the 21st century with them…
They should have the right to decide for themselves what they want to do wiht their lives, ** as long as it follows Islamic teachings. ** Now, underwear modeling/dating/clubbing/living with a bf/etc etc is wrong and I agree, then the father/husband/brother has every right to step in and act. However, when it comes to working (a respectable job :p), not working etc, then she has every right to decide..
Lajawab, you're taking things to an extreme. Very few pakistani muslim women will get up and demand they be allowed to model for Victoria Secret's lingerae fashion catwalk.
I think what aahmed meant is how pakistani muslim husbands (some) tend to be the ultimate decision makers on issues that concern and impact their female relatives more than it impacts them.
I'd like to add to that: those men just want an ego boost, because they're trying to compensate for something.
I think wot he was saying is that men have a right to give their opinions…not tell them wot to do…there is a fine, but very important line in between them…if ur wife, sister or daughter etc., was doing something u dislike (or against Islam say), then fine u can give her ur opinon, ur advice, ur concern…educate her on why she may be wrong…but it’s not right to act as a dictator and force her to listen to u or do as u say…that is wrong…and i think that is wot aahmed is saying and i agree with him…some men just need to respect women more and see them as their equal…not some sort of toy or child that they can play with, manipulate or boss around.
Kashmiri, why is it that when in desi discussions, we're always hearing about the wise man giving his "opinion" to the females in his life, as if he's some sort of wise sage they all follow?
If anything, women are the ones filling men's ears with their "advice". Somehow women aren't deemed wise enough to
make their own decisions by themselves
or
also in turn have an influence on their partner's decisions.
Or does her opinion just not count? Or does it, and desi men just aren't man enough to admit it?
After reading ur questions a couple of times (i guess my brain isn’t working to well at this time of nite hehe), here is wot i think, if i’m understanding u correctly…
First of all, i don’t think this type of behaviour in men is just in desis…it happens in a lot of races. Perhaps it’s an old-fashioned view passed down from father to sons over generations, and no one broke the cycle…perhaps it happens more amongst families who r poor and have no education…i’m not trying to say poor and uneducated men r jahils…there r good n bad men everywhere, as r their opinions.
We hear it i think, bcos for ex). a father gives his advice to his daughter…don’t u think he is a wise man? We r supposed to look to our elders as being wiser, they have lived longer and been thru more experiences than us…so i don’t think it’s bad for men to give the females in his life “advice”, or his own “opinion”, we r all entitled to it…but if he only gives his, and never lets the woman speak about wot’s on her mind, then yea that’s wrong…and i think slowly but surely, those type of ppl, with that thinking exist less today.
I think times have changed now, and it is a lot better even in Pakistan than it was say 20 yrs ago…but yes, for a lot of women, their opinions don’t seem important to their husbands or fathers…that is very sad, and i guess the only thing they can do to change that, as mothers at least, is to raise sons who do not have this mentality that “men r better than women”.
Sure there are men out there (desis too), that think that “her opinion doesn’t count” and that maybe they just “aren’t man enough to admit it”…but in my experience, that number is quite low, thanks to women all oever the world becoming more educated about their rights…not only as women, but as humans…it is frustrating when u hear a man abuse his wife emtionally or verbally or belittle her…and yes, those men r cowards…women need to have a stronger support system around them, so that they know they can leave their husbands if they r mistreated, they have every rite to.
Some of these men u r speaking of r probably arrogant too…if the wife speaks up for herself and he still doesn’t realise then she shud leave the idiot…but as far as just giving advice etc., there’s no thing wrong with it IMO…forcing is another thing. Sorry if i misunderstood wot u were asking.
Its not that. My point is that being wise is a characteristic that can belong to anyone, and that really, the wisest of us, will value the opinions of both mom, dad, husband, wife, son, daughter, sister, and brother. The sex doesn't matter. What matters is that person cares, and has your interest at heart, (if you're lucky...not everyone is).
<—i say it’s first… to be honest I don’t see anything here(USA) that they don’t have there(PAK) plus pak being one of the 8 countries in the world with nuclear power…i say you’re wrong buddy.