Re: Experience!
Her life , her choice . Don't be bothered too much about it .
I get that you asked this girl if she would work and she may have over-reacted from what you're saying. Maybe others have discouraged her from working but she's really passionate about it.
People are losing their jobs. If she's selling credit-cards, or begging people to sign up for them- it's still a respectable job! If anything, admire this girl ** for still sticking to her views and not giving up despite going through so much- losing a job, a house, a fiance- that's A LOT and can kill anyone's self-esteem! I can't imagine being in her shoes. **What if she was in your position and you were at that mall begging for people to sign up for a credit card? Would you still want a housewife then, or would you desire a wife like her who wouldn't give up and would support you? What would be your answer then?
Have you ever thought that she didn't get educated or work "for the sake of fitting into this society?"- maybe she was doing it to support her future husband or have a backup in case if a marriage breaks up. If anything, this girl does "have the green thumb to make right decisions."
This girl is obviously on your mind now and if you feel anything for her, or are concerned- she's going through trials right now and wish her well.
Re: Experience!
She is selling credit cards right now that doesn't mean that she'll sell credit cards for the rest of her life. Rough patches comes in everyone's life and may be this is her rough patch which sooner or later is going to be over. I admire her ! because she is managing herself in such difficult financial position by taking up any job that is coming her way , she is working not begging. She is making both ends meet in a respectable way. She should not be looked down upon because she is a fighter and survivor in my opinion.
No PCG , apparently he wants good, taza rotis. 
But she didn't say she wanted to work because of such and such reasons.. instead, she yelled at me for being a "male chauvinist" lol.. now that's stupid.. if her degrees didn't teach her how to communicate properly with each other then she wasted all her life and money for nothing.. oo leme tell ya!
Uhhhh, if your mom decided to work (if she doesn't already), why would she work? If you have a sister/female cousin/female friend who work, why do they do that?
I don't think the reasons even need to be communicated. People mainly work because it's their passion, they enjoy it and they want to make something of themselves, or they work to support themselves and their families (whether or not if they are in a desperate situation).
Maybe she shouldn't have yelled at you and called you a male chauvinist. But if you were interested in her, you could have called her up or given her a chance since you claim that you said "no" to the rishta.
:k:
Zobia. Seriously?
zobia, why are girls who say they will work after marriage naive?
life is short.
handful women get to the level of CEO, even they are not considered womanly women.
its not an achievement at least not in the eyes of a husband cuz majority husbands already doing it. so they say whats a biggy if they are earning.
the money women earns, she usually dont earn it for the things men earn their livelihood for. we women either wana save it or either we are asked-pressurized to save it (which becomes a huge fuss if husband loses all his investments), or either we only spend it on ourselves.
working 9-5 (gadhoon ki terha) and then looking after your home....gimme a break, we aint a ROBOT! (and its better not to expect anything from anyone, cuz not every husband is considerable. cuz if they are helping your out then you are lucky and may be u gotta pay for it, but if you are not blessed with a considerable husband. then they are just being a men. cuz its you and your living style that will be questioned).
if husbands really wana work their ass off then let em do it. Ash kero, Mooj Kero!
Go on Shopping spree, talk on the phone an hr with each friend, social work, meet with your girl friends once a month in some posh restaurant. padi cure, mani cure, new looks- hairdo, attend fashion shows, exhibitions, buy paintings, networking etc etc...and in returns if he only asks for 2 garam roti...i dont think its a bad bargain. give him that (baki sub ko naan khila do :D)
- and the most important questions each women should ask....why eve was made? fulfil your religious duties. he might dont have the time to do charity, so do that on behalf of him.
Re: Experience!
I wanted the best for her, she refused to participate in it.. it was her decision.. I never asked her to sit at home do nothing, I would have gladly asked her to help me with my business .. I would have given her the initiative to take charge of her own life without even asking me for anything I would have asked her to continue her education, etc etc.. she didn't take the chance hence the result is obvious.
Re: Experience!
^ that is such an insult to both working woman and their husbands
honestly zobia, i think u need to read what u just wrote.
Not all women want to become CEO's. Good on them if they do, but not all women want to do such things. That's not what having a career is about
and what do u mean by these women arent womanly enough? what do they need to do to be womanly? women already have pressure to compete against men (and thankfully ive never been in that situation) and here u r saying they arent womenly enough to be in those roles... geez
and not all husbands are like that. Ask the women on here who work.. i dont think their husbands make fun of them.. nor do they take their money. If u work as a team, u willingly save and work towards a goal... and is it anyoen else's business what she spends her money on... or how the couple have sorted out their finances??
working 9-5 ghandoo ki tarha and coming home to work is a task... i cannot believe u just made a mockery of someone who works hard... honesty shocked
seriously insulted
great mind do think alike :aliyish:
I wanted the best for her, she refused to participate in it.. it was her decision.. I never asked her to sit at home do nothing, I would have gladly asked her to help me with my business .. I would have given her the initiative to take charge of her own life without even asking me for anything I would have asked her to continue her education, etc etc.. she didn't take the chance hence the result is obvious.
Dont be so judgemental . You dont know what future holds for her. May be she ends up meeting much more better person than you. Life is ever changing jo aj hai woh kaal nahi aur jo ajj nahi hai woh kaal ho sakta hai. There are good days and there are bad days. Haar insaan ka waqt badalta rehta hai , halat badal jatain hain. People even end up loosing kingdoms. What you see as a punishment for her may be in the eyes of ALLAH is a test / azmaish for her and if she successfully passes her test God knows what reward she may get. Dont you think ALLAH must be happy with the fact that she is working hard and earning a halal earning to make both ends meet , there are always ways for haram money.
Apart from the above , I do agree with the fact that the answer to your question should have been a simple YES or NO rather than harsh words.
Go on Shopping spree, talk on the phone an hr with each friend, social work, meet with your girl friends once a month in some posh restaurant. padi cure, mani cure, new looks- hairdo, attend fashion shows, exhibitions, buy paintings, networking etc etc...and in returns if he only asks for 2 garam roti...i dont think its a bad bargain.
and you were calling women who want to work naive?
with a single person income and saving for kids college and retirement, you wouldnt be doing much of this. and even if your husband has some job that pays really well, it is up to him whether he lets you blow his hard-earned money on these frivolous things. it takes a lot in the looks and personality department to be a trophy wife and have this OC-housewife lifestyle. most desi women don't make the cut.
Re: Experience!
Diamond 321when you make careless decisions, you tend to pay for it at the end.. whether that'd be a male or a female.. if she can ask me how much I make, why it's so hard for me to ask her about her future plans and if she wants to be a HAPPY stay home wife or not?
Dont be so judgemental . You dont know what future holds for her. May be she ends up meeting much more better person than you. Life is ever changing jo aj hai woh kaal nahi aur jo ajj nahi hai woh kaal ho sakta hai. There are good days and there are bad days. Haar insaan ka waqt badalta rehta hai , halat badal jatain hain. People even end up loosing kingdoms. What you see as a punishment for her may be in the eyes of ALLAH is a test / azmaish for her and if she successfully passes her test God knows what reward she may get. Dont you think ALLAH must be happy with the fact that she is working hard and earning a halal earning to make both ends meet , there are always ways for haram money.
Apart from the above , I do agree with the fact that the answer to your question should have been a simple YES or NO rather than harsh words.
read my post again. I agree with you on the point that she could have answered you politely by saying yes or no instead of judging your perception towards working women.
[quote="PyariCgudia"]
You don't know that. Maybe she would rather have her dignity than be dependent on a guy.
Bottom line is, you offered her your shelter of an income. She refused.
Accept that and move on. Not every girl is going to WANT to be provided for. Maybe it means the world to her that she is on her own two feet even if it is working in a mall.
AGREED
Re: Experience!
I'm not gonna marry a girl by looking at her bosoms.. I have to have these discussions to see if we are on the same page or not.. if she can not tolerate a simple question, imagine living a life with her.. no thanks!
I wanted the best for her, she refused to participate in it.. it was her decision.. I never asked her to sit at home do nothing, I would have gladly asked her to help me with my business .. I would have given her the initiative to take charge of her own life without even asking me for anything I would have asked her to continue her education, etc etc.. she didn't take the chance hence the result is obvious.
What you believe is the best for her, may not have been the best for her in her eyes. Maybe she wouldn't want to help you with your business, do something on her own. This "result" isn't because things didn't work out between you two- don't give yourself that much credit. She is going through a lot and is being tested. If you're concerned about this "result" and think you could have given her a better life, then do something about it. Putting aside whatever happened between you two- Do you really not have an ounce of admiration for her that she hasn't given up and is earning with dignity?
Diamond 321when you make careless decisions, you tend to pay for it at the end.. whether that'd be a male or a female.. if she can ask me how much I make, why it's so hard for me to ask her about her future plans and if she wants to be a HAPPY stay home wife or not?
We've said that she should have been polite.
Can you clarify what her careless decisions were?
Re: Experience!
Mc12IT.............why do you consider yourself such a big opportunity or the best rishta any girl can get ?
Re: Experience!
I am sorry Mc121T, although we agree that should not over react like that done, but on other side you also seem to be a bit vindictive and taking some pleasure from her misfortune.
What happen to hers subsequently is not because of her rejecting you, this is just a misfortune everyone could be victim. Be gracious and move on, hope and pray for best for everyone including yourself and her.
Re: Experience!
Having worked since I was in high school, I can tell you that offer sounds very tempting honestly! and this is coming from a woman who has her BS degree in Science and is currently working on her MBA. I would love to continue to go to school and not worry about paying all the bills. I have a good job and I pay all my bills but honestly, I would not be offended by that question at all especially if it's coming from a guy I am thinking about spending the rest of my life with. I have never asked anybody for anything and I am not materialistic or a gold digger in any sense. The way that girl responded was harsh. I don't believe that was an insult, you cannot refute the fact that women are caretakers and they have always been, it is scientifically proven. You have the ability to bear children how can you not want to be with them for as long as you can. It's only natural that they would want to take care of the house, kids, and all, so what if this guy asked?! A lot of career oriented, successful women would have said YES! What we should really be proud of is the fact that we excel at every job in and outside of our homes. :)