It’s true that I have seen many a woman spend hundreds of dollars on their personal purchases…like they’d go through tons of brands and after spending an arm and a leg, they identify their favorite skincare line while all the others sit at their bathroom counter making babies.
Butttt, you see them bargain like their life depended on it for a good swim lesson or with the Qur’an teacher. I am personally witness to both these situations where women have asked me to cut down a humble $50 per month of Islamic School fees saying it’s too much or they cannot afford it but you see the 15 layer of Mac foundation and rainbow eye color oozing from their skins.
So what’s with that? Is it as simple as priorities or is spending on skin care really truly more important that your kids educational development?
PS: I’m using makeup as an example here. The other big one is eating out and dish network.
Umm, you can get cheap makeup too you know. I think you're taking a bit of a judgemental attitude here and i mean no offence I can see from your point of view it must be frustrating when people wasting money of fazool things.
At the end of the day in the time of Prophet Muhammad (saw) nobody charged money for teaching Islamic knowledge, obviously now people do as its a kind of job but it shouldn't really be a career but something done for the good of Muslims... if you get what I mean. And while people may ask you to charge less, be humble and keep in mind if you were like the best of Muslims like the sahabah you could be you wouldn't be charging at all....
I’m not the one charging, I’m part of a school . And yes we have people who aren’t paying anything at all because they cannot afford to. Btw, it’s jaiz to charge for teaching Qur’an. But that’s not my issue. My question here is that why do people bargain for what seems to be more important but are OK when paying for unnecessary luxuries?
I think Niksik is using extreme examples to make a good point. There is wasteful spending everywhere and all of us could probably could use that extra money for betterment of our children's future.
The folks that can't afford Sunday School can't really afford expensive skincare lines either. :(
Oh I'm sorry, I'm not saying it's wrong to charge I'm just explaining how it differs from the conduct of past Scholars and teachers.
If people wish to spend money on more material things then that's down to them, its a sign of their priorities, nobody is perfect and everyone has their weakness, for some people it's expensive food, for others its designer clothing etc. But at the end of the day if your providing Islamic knowledge even if the children's parents put a price limit on that knowledge you know better not to...
Well, I hated having to spend hundreds of dollars on books for college classes (that's KIND OF similar isnt it????) but didn't feel bad about spending it on makeup or eating out and other luxuries.
I get ur point, but my example was kind of in the same vein… books = education, if I can spend on my face why not on my education…but u know I totally get your point…We had a next door neighbor who worked at a bank and my parents would frequently talk about how she can easily spend hundreds of dollars on perfume, clothes etc, but sent her daughter to public school…My mother had her luxuries but it was never at our expense (for education, medicine etc)…frankly I dont’ know any desi women whose priorities aren’t straight when it comes to their kids.
So beautifully put
waise kinda offtopic but I don’t know whhy ppl don’t bother to return something if they don’t like it? most stores have easy return policies and surely ther’s no shame attached to returning is there? (ok ok…another thread it is!)
one of my hubby's friend once said instead of paying 700 per month to a private school he would prefer buying a new car. so yes its all priorities may be status and looking good is more imp to some than wasting money on kid's education who will learn anyways.
It's more than that mabrook - kids need more than just education. They need to experience life too. We bought a bigger house for the kids because they need the space, or the backyard to mull around in. All of us (siblings) went to public schools and average universities but also traveled with our parents a lot which cost money. So it's just priorities.
IMO sometimes if a guy wants a car - I don't see any harm in that. He works hard for that right.
I know there are those who will sacrifice everything in order to put their kids through school....in their cases, there really is no room for useless stuff/luxuries in their lives and they have to make those tough choices
It all comes down to priorities...some people really don't think they need to spend much on something like a Quran lesson for their child and see it as a waste of money. I know this girl who is married but doesn't have any children yet, she and her husband spend a LOT of $$$ on designer clothing, accesories(a new coach every year) and expensive shoes(UGGs) for themselves but keep telling us that if they ever have children they'll buy their clothes and everything from Walmart!!
i think its very important to strike the right balance. you shouldn't be overindulging yourself and neglecting your kids or vice versa. where's the moderation, or fun, in that?
as for the ladies who spend more on makeup and haggle over swim lessons, spending $10 on an eyeshadow palette is a smaller expense and easier to live with, than spending $50 on a swim lesson, no?
It all comes down to priorities...some people really don't think they need to spend much on something like a Quran lesson for their child and see it as a waste of money. I know this girl who is married but doesn't have any children yet, she and her husband spend a LOT of $$$ on designer clothing, accesories(a new coach every year) and expensive shoes(UGGs) for themselves but keep telling us that if they ever have children they'll buy their clothes and everything from Walmart!!
Well, probably because they know kids outgrow stuff all the time and they make lots of messes.
Putting your kids in walmart/target clothes isn't going to kill the kid or harm them in any way
^Those situations are kind of different and understandable
Some examples that really peeve me off and that I have witnessed personally are:
-My sister's best friend, whose mother is always high maintenance (manicures, designer bags, expensive watches, etc) refuses to give her daughter $5 when they have a field trip to buy lunch OR actually started to make her daughter pay for her own pills (she get's migraines) with her own birthday money, she got from her uncle, because she got "tired of paying" for her
-Then there is this one guy, back when I used to volunteer at a elementary school, who always has the newest gadgets and bought a new phone every other month while his son wore broken shoes to school and his feet would get cold because the rain would soak into his socks.........and once I had just happened to mention it (indirectly) when he came to pick up his child but he laughed it off saying that he'll tough it out until Christmas
-Or the lady I blogged about who bought $50 worth of make-up but refused to pay $5 for her daughter's med
This behavior definitely isn't the norm and luckily I haven't seen this type of behavior in desi parents
^Those situations are kind of different and understandable
Some examples that really peeve me off and that I have witnessed personally are:
-My sister's best friend, whose mother is always high maintenance (manicures, designer bags, expensive watches, etc) refuses to give her daughter $5 when they have a field trip to buy lunch OR actually started to make her daughter pay for her own pills (she get's migraines) with her own birthday money, she got from her uncle, because she got "tired of paying" for her
-Then there is this one guy, back when I used to volunteer at a elementary school, who always has the newest gadgets and bought a new phone every other month while his son wore broken shoes to school and his feet would get cold because the rain would soak into his socks.........and once I had just happened to mention it (indirectly) when he came to pick up his child but he laughed it off saying that he'll tough it out until Christmas
-Or the lady I blogged about who bought $50 worth of make-up but refused to pay $5 for her daughter's med
This behavior definitely isn't the norm and luckily I haven't seen this type of behavior in desi parents
. And yes we have people who aren’t paying anything at all because they cannot afford to. Btw, it’s jaiz to charge for teaching Qur’an. But that’s not my issue. My question here is that why do people bargain for what seems to be more important but are OK when paying for unnecessary luxuries?
(ok ok…another thread it is!)