Existence of a Good Girl

Lifestyle Relationships
21

What I mean is that rishtas are sought based on looks and money, etc. And moreover, the worst of women do a pretty good job in passing off as innocent and all that jazz. They play the part. If you have an average looking honest girl who has good qualities, people won't even really find out because good people don't advertise their goodness. That's being flamboyant. So good girls are often overlooked.

Islam Is Unpopular, says Indian Actor: Saif Ali Khan
22

^ Not true. Good girls are often already engaged or tied to someone in early 20s. Some even in teens. You obviously turn day into night to make your point, so carry on.

Timepass November 2014 (Iqbal ka maheena)
23

Quite true at what PCG is saying, especially in desi culture/chalaak girls

24

hmmmm, it's true that 'good girls' are hard to find but i still feel there are still few girls out there who are still 'good'.....

i ofcourse have faith on Allah Swt and i believe, InshAllah, one day i will get married to one of those 'good girls' :D ;)

Good girls do exist but they are very rare.......

25

Re: Existence of a Good Girl

^ You are late bro!

All the good ones are taken! lol

26

Re: Existence of a Good Girl

oh get over it. No such thing as a "good girl" or "good boy"

27

Re: Existence of a Good Girl

iShaz - i think what zobia is trying to say is that good girls aren't hard to find- girls have a lot more pressure to be "good". Anyway, "good" is very subjective - what does it even mean? For some, being kind/nice is enough to be "good", while for others they define a "good" girl as one who's never dated/smoked/drank and prays/hijab/etc. If you want a religious girl, there is no shortage of hijabis (although IMO that doesn't guarantee a nice person, lots of non-hijabis are nice and still religious too).

I find that good guys are much rarer. So many fool around during their bachelor days (not as common among the girls) or some are morally ok but then they never studied/were serious and have a mediocre job, or some are just too religious and forgot what it means to have fun. I'm not even talking about looks- which i believe are secondary to character.

i know so many girls that are pretty, study well, working towards a respectable career, level-headed and morally/religiously good, but so few guys to match up. Many of the guys were slackers in school and/or had a lot of 'history'. It's especially hard for girls that are doing pretty competitive careers like law or medicine, because they prefer someone equally educated, and has all those other qualities. However, guys who are in those same career paths might not care as much about the education level and are already married to a younger/prettier/whatever person that maybe only completed bachelors.

One last thing- people's expectations are sometimes a bit too high and they have too many requirements for who they think they "deserve". People should be more humble and open-minded and consider themselves as blessed if they happen to find a person that has a good personality, looks, morals and education. THey shouldn't think that this is what they deserve.

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Re: Existence of a Good Girl

Snazzy hit it spot on

29

Re: Existence of a Good Girl

dude With such a long post she must have hit every where.
What did she say any ways??

30

To summarize my post for Monk and others

  • there is not really a shortage of "good" girls because society pressures girls to be good

  • Good guys are hard to find because they are not under as much pressure to be well-behaved, or they have a slacker attitude, or they're too conservative and don't like to have fun. Hard to find a balance between all 3 qualities: moral + non-slacker + not boring

  • There are many guys out there but for some of the more highly-educated girls, they don't match up, and if the guys are equal in terms of education, they're already married b/c they are not as concerned about their spouses education level (i mean she might have a bachelor's but not like a PhD or professional degree).

  • People set unreasonable requirements and should be humble and if they do happen to get what they want, they should be grateful and not feel entitled to it.

31

Re: Existence of a Good Girl

reversed question

which great deeds have the chicks done, so they come here and demand a pious husband/companion?

Why I dislike being Pakistani.
Why I dislike being Pakistani.
32

^They've kept true to their morals and religion and they studied/worked hard. They want a husband who also has a clean history and studied/worked hard. After they're level on that plane, they can consider compatibility etc.

Do you think that the girls who are serial daters and partied and drank all during college are the ones that are demanding the pious husbands? obviously not! Look, i;m from the US, and was part of a small MSA in college. 90% of the girls in the MSA were very modest, didn't party, etc. 50% of the guys in the MSA had white girlfriends (currently or past) or had pics all over facebook of their frat party attendances. even if they didn't drink there, I'm SURE they ogled and danced with the scantily clad girls. and this is IN THE MSA. also, in the MSA, many of the girls went to med school, law school, pharmD and PhD. none of the guys did (so far that i know).

33

good going snazzy...

Timepass November 2014 (Iqbal ka maheena)
34

i agree with your entire post. in fact the bolded part is that much true that it reflects how practical even party girls are.

Colorful Liquid Splashes
35

As if i am currently looking for one :smack:

36

Snaazy, hmm so you are from US? :hmmm:

I totally agree with what you have said above but here in london it’s opposite.

I see all these asians girls partying, screwing up their careers, having ‘fun’ and other sorts of things. Maybe in US it’s different but in london, many asian girls are far worse than you expect them to be.

Many girls have higher expectations than men. Not only do they want their dream husband to have good job, well settled down, financially well of but also looks, personality, sense of humour, good height, voice, cute…etc etc. I mean isn’t this too much? C’mon you don’t get a complete package in this century, do ya?:smiley:

Girls in general have higher expectations than men, it’s a well known fact. Anyone whos denying it is living in denial.:snooty:

I ofcourse agree men are no saints but come to think of it most men just go after looks, rest can be negotiated/compromised. :wink:

One more thing, 99% of the girls & boys have had a ‘history’. You can’t just expect your partner to be ‘history free’. No one is damn innocent in this world and most of these people, be it girl or a boy, have enjoyed their ‘jawaani time’. Ask 100 people whether they have had past or not, 90 will admit to it and the rest 10 will simply lie :slight_smile:

37

i hope you are only talking about brits, right?

canada is bit different.

38

Yes, i am from the US. I think zobia asked about "good girls". If you read my post earlier, i think I mentioned that the partiers are not the ones asking for the straight-laced, non-partying men. It's the modest ones trying to find someone equal. Like I said, the girls in my college MSA were pretty modest and studied well- they studied well because they didn't party and serial date and instead focused on class, while the guys were having white girlfriends, going to parties, playing halo and barely passing their classes.

I also said that people should be more humble about their expectations and what they think the "deserve". It angers me as well when people have too high expectations, I am like "what, you think you're the embodiment of perfection that you want all that in a spouse??"

And I am not lying when I say I have had zero history, and I know about 10 other girls that have had ZERO history- because instead of making their own history, they were studying history ;) and kept themselves in their books and are off towards great careers. Where are all the wholesome people in the world?

Also, there's a difference between having a past and having a bad past.

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Re: Existence of a Good Girl

I am a good guy.

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Re: Existence of a Good Girl

i completely agree with snazzy that all the party ppl and drunkards want somone who can match their life styles ... atleast most of them ... and yes i know of a few guys and girls who have absoloutely zero history and good for them ... i think its possible and i've seen it happen so yea ... the most important point IMHO that snazzy made is that there is a diff between having a past and having a bad past ... i've seen guys who were really nice and wanted to do everything the right way and the grl played them and that happens .... and htat doesn't make anyone necessarily a bad person ... as far as i kno even islamically we are allowed to marry someone we like ... so there is nothin wrong with that ... i guess what i'm tryin to say is that people should stop judging other people until u kno full well about wat had happend ... sometimes its not entirely the guy's or grl's fault because they had the right intention and wanted to do things the right way and if things didn't wrok out because of xyz reason doesn't make them a not so sharif or nice person