CM.........................you're oversimplifying. Why does the desire to find closure have to be confined to exes? Why do you assume that there's a "daal main kaala" about wanting closure?
I used to a have a couple of female friends........whom I'd like to give a piece of my mind to and it's been years.
Do I miss the friendship? Nope. I prefer the distance. However....because....I wasn't able to express how I felt about their crummy behavior..........sometimes I contemplate giving them a piece of my mind in the near future.
Usually the desire for closure results from 2 things. First, you weren't able to express your frustration. And secondly, the other person doesn't seem to realize or hasn't acknowledged that they've made a mistake. Had the offender shown some acknowledgement that he/she was wrong................there would really be no need for closure. But when the offender acts clueless......it's irritating. Such behavior eventually destroys relationships because you're trampling over the right of others. Imagine if a friend/relative frequently crosses the line with you and doesn't even have the humility or decency to apologize.
I have a friend who was upset by the way a dear professor treated her. Although the professor maintained a cordial attitude toward my friend..........my friend decided to get some closure by expressing her feelings.
These examples involve platonic relationships of the same gender. If one can have the desire for closure in the above scenarios.........why is it so hard to fathom that one would want to give an ex a piece of their mind? Romantic feelings don't necessarily have to be involved.
There is a reason why it is said that if you have wronged a person......you seek forgiveness from the victim in order for Allah to forgive you. There is also a reason why the Prophet SAWS advised people to avoid wronging others..........because the dua of a wronged person against the offender is never rejected by Allah. These rules/admonishments are in place because it IS A BIG DEAL to wrong someone and it's not so easy for people to forgive and forget....irrespective of the relationship. It is also said that on the Day of Judgment Allah will bargain and ask a person what it will take for him to forgive his offender. This just goes to show, once again, that people don't get over hurts easily and that we should be careful how we treat others.