Re: Etiquette - The less known rules…
that! x 10000%
it was/is (even now as a grown married woman with children) to look at an elder while having a prolonged conversation. you glance to acknowledge and then lower gaze to answer! … and talking back during arguments?! ha! that just didnt happen … as the younger person … that was no answering back to a miffed elder. like none. even if you are right with proof! no counter arguments UNLESS asked to speak or answer … as is aab kiyon khamoosh ho, jawab dau humein! … thats the only time you talk man! LOL and even then you are supposed to respond in the most neutral tone, normal volume and WITHOUT expression of distress/anger! … for all those who havnt been through this type of “training” … it is V HARD to manintain such complete control of oneself.
As sehyrsh says here … this is absolutely opposite of the western expectations/standards. Here it hurts professionally if you are not able to “hold your own” and demonstrate some aggressiveness … at least i have felt so being in a field dominated by males and frequently interacting with other sub-specialities and professions that are known to be aggressive/tough. I went through all of my schooling/training with teachers/attending calling me shy or quiet and anticipating that i will not be able to handle difficult patients/situations … lol. I was advised to go into pediatrics during med school … the gentle sweet dept of the medicine world and pretty much was everyone was shocked when i went to EM.
Much as I admire and respect my culture and think that this sort of upbringing has taught me the art of restraint … im not sure that i’d teach my girls the same.
personally as a mother I want to be respected but not at the level of a diety where i become unapproachable and unreproachable.