What are some rules that you were taught but have never seen/heard from anyone else?
The idea for this thread comes from:
Not to suggest that there is any lack in anyone’s upbringing but I’m curious about what I may learn from all of you…
Here’s another “rule” that I was taught but I don’t see others doing:
When passing a glass of water you, of course hold it with your right hand, but in the absence of a tray or saucer, you place your left hand underneath as if to support it. You remain standing until the person has consumed the water and then tak ethe empty glass back (unless of course everyone is seated at a table or the person expresses a desire to keep the glass).
I think that in my family, we got overkilled in showing respect to the older sibling. My sister is only fifteen months older than me and I call her Baji. My brother is 18 months younger than me and calls me bhaijaan. In contrast, my younger daughter who is 3 years younger than my older daughter calls her by name. Same in my sister's family where all three daughters call each other by name, though there is a 10 years difference between the oldest and the youngest.
I think that in my family, we got overkilled in showing respect to the older sibling. My sister is only fifteen months older than me and I call her Baji. My brother is 18 months younger than me and calls me bhaijaan. In contrast, my younger daughter who is 3 years younger than my older daughter calls her by name. Same in my sister's family where all three daughters call each other by name, though there is a 10 years difference between the oldest and the youngest.
yeah when the age differences are so little, like a year or just slightly more, then it becomes overkill with the baji and bhaijan stuff..... I can understand that.
but I'm staunch about it if there is 2 or 3 years of a difference.....
^^I was never taught about the glass thing either.. I sometimes use my right, sometimes my left and I've never waited for someone to finish to take the empty glass back.. they usually just put it down beside them and I might take it or just leave it there lol
Muzna, in Turkey it's not uncommon for kids to address elders by their first names (but with 'bey'/bhai afterwards, for ex 'Ahmet Bey').. Isn't it funny that something which is considered insulting in one culture (even another Muslim one) can be totally acceptable or even encouraged in another.. Another ex could be not calling your husband by his first name..
In our family, we weren't allowed to call an aunt or uncle by their first name + aunt/uncle - it was considered disrespectful to say their name. So instead of saying Sheila Aunty (her name + aunty), we instead said Sheila's daughter's name + Aunty - since said daughter was our peer and we were allowed to say the say the daughter's name.
I was taught the same @Muzna in regards to serving water to anyone. Also to use my right hand while consuming water. water or any beverage/food is to be consumed sitting down.
putting on footwear on right foot first.
not sitting with outstretched legs in presence of an elder. No laying down in presence of an elder unless too sick to sit. no sitting with back to an elder unless they n everyone is watching tv/movie etc..
everyone older .. even by a day has a title of respect to be used at all time. my sister who is 2 yrs younger calls me aapi.
at meals, elders are served first n we wait till they are finished serving themselves before reaching for anything n the table … as opposed to several ppl serving themselves simultaneously or serving the kids first.
in my home … moms do the initial serving (unless the elder prefers to serve them self). we serve ourselves for second helping etc …
if there are guests then guests go first.
never ever ever ever accept kitchen help from guest. its considered poor form to have the guest help set out food or bring dirty dishes to the sink … even if they are good close friends. it just isnt done.
In our family, we weren't allowed to call an aunt or uncle by their first name + aunt/uncle - it was considered disrespectful to say their name. So instead of saying Sheila Aunty (her name + aunty), we instead said Sheila's daughter's name + Aunty - since said daughter was our peer and we were allowed to say the say the daughter's name.
And if aunty does not have a daughter, how would you address her?
In our family, we weren't allowed to call an aunt or uncle by their first name + aunt/uncle - it was considered disrespectful to say their name. So instead of saying Sheila Aunty (her name + aunty), we instead said Sheila's daughter's name + Aunty - since said daughter was our peer and we were allowed to say the say the daughter's name.
see I learned something....
we were allowed to use the aunty's name but the term "aunty" had to precede or follow.
What are some rules that you were taught but have never seen/heard from anyone else?
The idea for this thread comes from:
Not to suggest that there is any lack in anyone's upbringing but I'm curious about what I may learn from all of you.....
Here's another "rule" that I was taught but I don't see others doing:
When passing a glass of water you, of course hold it with your right hand, but in the absence of a tray or saucer, you place your left hand underneath as if to support it. You remain standing until the person has consumed the water and then tak ethe empty glass back (unless of course everyone is seated at a table or the person expresses a desire to keep the glass).
We have this too as well as sitting on the floor if an elder choses to and no outstretched legs towards another person. I thought these were the norm all over the Indo-Pak region.
We use aunts name along with khala/phupi addition to it.
^ Never heard of that. That would be akin to the Hindu custom of touching an elder's feet. I have known of some families to welcome a new bride by having her wet her feet in a bowl/container of water and then the in-laws sprinkle the water around the home. It's considered "auspicious." That being said, I'm pretty sure that's cultural and not religious. The whole touching an elder's feet would almost be akin to prostrating before a mortal and would be considered shirk, at least in my family.
