etiquette question

Lifestyle Relationships
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  1. So say you have a gathering at your place and the kids are running around, trying to “play with the refrigerator” or “open it for no reason” (there own words), would you say something to them? A 9 year old asked me if she coudl do that and i told her no. Also, if the kids are entering your walk in closets and stuff, would you step up and say no? i know this family for a while now so i feel comfy doing so. What would you do?

Also what about adults, who have come to see your new house and genuinely just want to see how spacious your closets are but you know your husband has piled up his clothes carelessly and messily, is it ok to say, please dont open that? Hubs thinks i can be rude while doing this. I dont think so since i said it nicely. I like to think that if a door is closed, there is a reason :smiley:

  1. Say you have invited some folks and a couple of them wait till the last moment (2 hours prior) to call adn say that they wont be coming over. Do i have a right to be irritated? They first called to ask why i had invited them and then called to say they wont be coming over because not feeling well.
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i agree with your take on everything posted. it must be your charming kitty...

Timepass - November 2013
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no i dont think its rude at all.

If kids are doing that, I ask them what they need.. if they dont need anything then i tell them the kids arent allowed in the kitchen. Im more worried about things falling on them... i am prob the nasty maami or phuppo.. but really, its for their own safety. And if their parents dont say anything.. I will.

I close all room doors before people come... the ones that i dont care about, they stay open... so people know. If someone does need to go into one of the rooms thats messy.. depending on who they are, i will let them know of the situation... like if my bhabhi needs to go, cus of our informal relationship, I'll tell her how it is... i dont let others walk in and out of ours rooms :)

im so mean

and ur last point... geez thats so rude of people!! uuugh

Post a pic of what a guppy may look like
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[QUOTE]
So say you have a gathering at your place and the kids are running around, trying to "play with the refrigerator" or "open it for no reason" (there own words), would you say something to them? A 9 year old asked me if she coudl do that and i told her no. Also, if the kids are entering your walk in closets and stuff, would you step up and say no? i know this family for a while now so i feel comfy doing so. What would you do?

[/QUOTE]

If it were my own little kids i would give them evil eye that my mom always gave me when I was doing something not right. If it really bothered me, I would take out something out of the fridge give it to them to eat and place them elsewhere.

ANd I think it's perfectly alrite to say no to kids when walking into your personal closets. You have personal stuff in there, and you don't want a two year old taking out your bras and showing it to everyone.

[QUOTE]
Also what about adults, who have come to see your new house and genuinely just want to see how spacious your closets are but you know your husband has piled up his clothes carelessly and messily, is it ok to say, please dont open that?
[/QUOTE]

I personally think is rude, when people want to take a tour of the house ... I mean who cares how spacious the house is? what does it matter? Yes if I think my room is too messy, I just say so..."you don't want to go in there, it's too messy, maybe next time".

[QUOTE]
Say you have invited some folks and a couple of them wait till the last moment (2 hours prior) to call adn say that they wont be coming over. Do i have a right to be irritated? They first called to ask why i had invited them and then called to say they wont be coming over because not feeling well.
[/QUOTE]

This depends a lot on the situation- some people probably have a genuine reason. May be they are really sick and puking everywhere. But if its something that's abused...I wouldn't be irritated, just maybe cut them off next guest list. If someone asked me why I had invited them, I would ask them "why do you ask?" I t really makes no sense to ask. And so yes, you have a right to be irritated. But don't take it persobnally. If this person is doing it chronically, then just cut them off the guest list.

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I KNOW!! Especialy when Im taking things out of the oven!! It's so dangerous!! I make sure all kids alre out of kitchen at that time!!

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Hmm, that's odd. I don't understand why one would ask for the reasons they were being invited. A person might wonder about that...but usually people don't ask about that. Either they go or they don't go. Instead of fuming and fretting over this......think positively. Perhaps they have genuine reasons for cancelling at the last minute. Maybe the really ARE sick. In that case....it's better they kept their virus at home as opposed to bringing it to your home, right? You don't want to increase your chances of getting sick ;) Perhaps a personal emergency came up. I think MANY OF US have made excuses (sometimes genuine sometimes not) for cancelling at the last minute. If these are people you are not that close to......then don't worry about it. You'll just have more food left over for yourself to enjoy. You'll have fewer plates to wash. And a little bit less cleaning to do. :) Don't let them spoil your mood. Enjoy your time with those that showed up. IF the particular guest who cancelled on you.....tend to cancel plans ALOT....or have done this several times....then perhaps you should limit contact with them.

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Re: etiquette question

I have no problem kicking kids out of rooms and closets...especially when parents dont do anything to stop them!

And secondly, yes you have every right to be irritated. Why did they wait until two hours before the davat to say this to you? Surely it couldnt have been something that happened within the past hour or so for them to call and cancel last minute like that! THe host is cooking for you, preparing her home to welcome you and you cant even give her proper notice in case you cant make it. UGH!

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1) Kids opening the refrigerator -

I would think they might be hungry and looking for snack. I'd offer them snacks. If they still want to open the fridge then I have FULL RIGHT TO gently tell them to stop doing that.

2) Closed Closet & guests -

"normally" people don't do that... however, if they are curious about how big the closet is - then I would tell them straight out that sorry it's a mess inside and you will be glad to show it to her next time once you get a chance to clean up.

3) Invites call off -

You are lucky to get a call that too TWO hours ahead of time!

Some of our guests are just rude and show up FIVE hours LATE!
I would rather know ahead of time on what I can do with my time than sit there wait for them to arrive. Having said this, if I had only invited these couple and I had a lavish dinner set up then definitely I would feel horrible for spending all that time for guests and they declined.
...but let's say if I had invited more people - and only one couple don't show but let me know ahead of time - then I would really appreciate it.

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Down right rude for people to have a nose in your closets. What difference will it make to them if they r spacious or not?

DON'T PUT UP WITH IT. It's your home and you have a right to privacy.

Really bothers me. When I first bought my house, local people who hadn't seen me for years popped up out of the woodwork just to literally have a nose around my house. One psycho lady actually pushed her way past me into my bedroom to inspect it, after I told her this room is actually not presentable at the moment, this at 9.30am.

Some people r just rude, and if I was a bigger and stronger person than that psycho lady, I would have barred her entry but she was built like an ox and I was tossed aside. lol.

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I think telling kids not do this and that esp. in the kitchen is fine, and i get really frustrated when little kids play around in the kitchen so we do tell them nicely to go and play somewhere else. But really, it should be their parents duty to look after them.

The looking into the closet thing i believe is none of their business. If it is someone very close, like friend or so, then i might not mind. But anyone else i would refuse politely.

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I do understand that if you got a new house, people would want to see the rooms/space etc....but not sure why they would even want to see closets...hmm. I would be annoyed if someone cancelled on me last minute....but hopefully it is a genuine excuse. If it was the only couple invited and they waited last minute, id be fuming!!! But if it's a big party then i wouldn't care so much.

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but sometimes you just don't know if they are really happy for you and are excited to see what you got..

I really DON'T think that a person who may have ill feeling for you would even care to come see what you have.

So I see it differently...

Independence day, Pakistan day, Jinnah's birth day etc
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Ya I agree with everyone here ... kids should be kept in control by their mothers , most of them get unruly anyways as soon as they are in a new place ... so do feel free to tell them off ... I do ... and I do it without feeling guilty.. and I get least bothered what their moms are thinking ...

Once there was this guest with 7 kids , they kept touching the oven knobs ... and despite several warnings and efforts to distract their attention to other fun things , they wouldnt stop .. So I told the mother and she didnt take much notice ... finally I took two of the kids and locked then in the bathroom .... told them thats their naughty corner ... ! then they started calling for their mommy... mommy was stunned that I actually punished them ... they left my place half hour after that ! but I didnt feel guilty, why should i let kids endanger themselves and others around? at the end of the day if anyone gets hurt its my responsibility.

and about the guests, dont invite them again if they are so uncourteous. you dont wanna be cooking for them again.

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Re: etiquette question

^LOL. CB you have guts!!!

I don't think i'd go as far as locking them in the loo but i'd most defn give them a telling off and just strictly tell them they are NOT allowed in any other room but the one there mother is in...i'd do that infront of the mother...if she can't control her kids then she just shouldn't take them to places.

Very Annoying.

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I would do exactly what you did.

Once though, there was this really annoying kid who was playing with my laptop, not playing on it as in playing WITH IT and throwing it on the floor!

I told him to stop politely and then suggested he go and play outside. Suddenly his mother comes charging up the stairs and told me off!

grrrr

I really wanted to argue back but i didnt.

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Ira is it rude if I tell you I am more interested in knowing your response to the lady who asked the reason for invitation?!!? Just curious :p

PS: I would like to see inside the closets when/if I come over so you better start cleaning them up now!

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Yes this^.
About the fridge, I can understand a 1 year old opening and closing, opening and closing a fridge, but a 9 year old??
Maybe he/she was looking for a snack? If not, feel free to say no.

And CB did you REALLY lock.kids.in.a.BATHROOM?

Your Collections
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If you don't live in my house - you don't get to open pantry doors, fridge doors or closet doors.

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S_mk .. yeah I did .. .what else was I supposed to do? told the mom, warned the kids, tried to move their attention else where … the oven was hot , plus its a gas oven they kept turning on the knob and I kept running to the kitchen to check every few minutes and would find it on and stinking of gas … so I finally decided to teach the kids and mommy a lesson.

:cb:

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Re: etiquette question

Forget about kids, there’s this aunty that we know…anytime she comes over, SHE opens all of the cupboards, investigates the fridges and inspects the bedrooms :mad: