I agree that I have a biased view based on the experiences of people that I know who got married. My viewpoint is that as much as women want protection, what’s wrong with men protecting their interests? A woman protects her interest, she gets “shahbash”. A man looks to do exactly the same, he’s a pig.
**This is a generalisation. It depends on the situation and the couple. Obviously if the woman is to blame then the man gets the same sympathy that would have gone to the woman in the same situation. **
Go figure! Lol, what you guys call childish, telling me to grow up, I call self preservation.
** I apologise for offending you. I called it as I saw it. The fact that you put ALL women in the same boat is immature thinking. Im not saying that as a dig at you. All woman will take men for a ride. All woman will take every penny in case of divorce. All woman have a sense of entitlement. Surely if all women were like this people would never get married. **
Let me put it to the lawyers/solicitors. If I came to you stating that I am about to enter in to a partnership whereby the other party can walk away at any point and take at least 50% of my assets/future income without any blame being placed and that this partnership is reliant on the voluntary willingness of the other party to stay in partnership with me, what would you advise me? That’s what I thought!
** This example only works for a business deal. Marriage is not a business deal. Emotions are involved. Its all about compromise. If you treat marriage as a business contract then that’s all you’ll get.**
the 50% of people in first marriages in Britain don’t go in to marriage thinking they will divorce - but they do, with 70% of divorces initiated by women. I have no issue with women staying at home looking after house/kids - if it is a joint decision. I hate women who believe they are entitled to stay at home once she pops out a kid, knowing full well her husband will end up having to subsidise HER choice (not when its a mutual decision) by paying through the roof with spousal support in case of divorce.
** Okay you hate those kind of women. Fine just don’t marry one like that then. What’s the big deal? **
Don’t go round throwing the prophets sunnah at me - if he divorced, his wives would have only been entitled to support during iddat period only plus child maintenance - no 50% of hubbies assets +spousal support for an indefinite period of time. There would have been blame placed during divorce - in Britain divorces are no blame based!
** I’m not contesting the support given during divorce. We’re talking about support in a marriage. The examples I gave were during marriage. Not in divorce. And anyways I’ve already stated in another thread that I agree with the Islamic guidelines of support etc during divorce. The woman keeps her mahr and that’s it. That is fair. **
Look, women who come to a consensus to become stay at home housewives, I have no issue with, my mum is one! But those that do it unilaterally and then expect privilege are the ones I have issue with.
** But why should you? You’re not married to them. Their husbands have to deal with that. Just don’t marry that kind of woman. **
Anyway, each to their own, all I know is when I do get married, I’m only doing nikkah - I’ll wait to do the civil ceremony until I know her “kirdaar”. One of my phupo’s husband did this - he waited 3 years after nikah to do the civil ceremony. In that time, my phupo showed her true entitled golddigger “rang” - her husband made the necessary adjustments locking up assets in trusts before legally making her his wife. She’s subdued a lot as a result, and rightly so imo - she no longer projects an aura of entitlement!
** That’s fine and up to you but going into a marriage without full trust isn’t always a good thing. I’m sorry about your uncle but again that’s one example. Its not true for everyone. And just so you know the woman is entitled to write any conditions in her nikkah nama. If you don’t show trust to your future spouse why would she trust you? **
Put your interest first fellas, women do exactly the same!