Re: Equality in Marriage…
I agree that I have a biased view based on the experiences of people that I know who got married. My viewpoint is that as much as women want protection, what’s wrong with men protecting their interests? A woman protects her interest, she gets “shahbash”. A man looks to do exactly the same, he’s a pig. Go figure! Lol, what you guys call childish, telling me to grow up, I call self preservation. Let me put it to the lawyers/solicitors. If I came to you stating that I am about to enter in to a partnership whereby the other party can walk away at any point and take at least 50% of my assets/future income without any blame being placed and that this partnership is reliant on the voluntary willingness of the other party to stay in partnership with me, what would you advise me? That’s what I thought!
the 50% of people in first marriages in Britain don’t go in to marriage thinking they will divorce - but they do, with 70% of divorces initiated by women. I have no issue with women staying at home looking after house/kids - if it is a joint decision. I hate women who believe they are entitled to stay at home once she pops out a kid, knowing full well her husband will end up having to subsidise HER choice (not when its a mutual decision) by paying through the roof with spousal support in case of divorce. Don’t go round throwing the prophets sunnah at me - if he divorced, his wives would have only been entitled to support during iddat period only plus child maintenance - no 50% of hubbies assets +spousal support for an indefinite period of time. There would have been blame placed during divorce - in Britain divorces are no blame based!
Look, women who come to a consensus to become stay at home housewives, I have no issue with, my mum is one!** But those that do it unilaterally and then expect privilege are the ones I have issue with**. Anyway, each to their own, all I know is when I do get married, I’m only doing nikkah - I’ll wait to do the civil ceremony until I know her “kirdaar”. One of my phupo’s husband did this - he waited 3 years after nikah to do the civil ceremony. In that time, my phupo showed her true entitled golddigger “rang” - her husband made the necessary adjustments locking up assets in trusts before legally making her his wife. She’s subdued a lot as a result, and rightly so imo - she no longer projects an aura of entitlement! Put your interest first fellas, women do exactly the same!
I don’t get this attitude either. It has to be a mutual decision or GTFO, you ain’t special. Everybody sacrifices something to make their career. I haven’t wanted a kid yet because I want to get to a certain point in my career. I am 100% committed to my marriage therefore don’t think about my contributions. I offer everything that I have and I am happy to do so. In return, husband does the same. I support him as he supports me in my career. Now hubby wants a kid and I am getting myself to a point where I am ready for a kid and he realizes it will have some impact on my career but it’s a mutual decision and we will work through it. Point is don’t expect your honay-wala to have no expectations if you have a million yourself.