Equality in Marriage...

[Muzna]

Re: Equality in Marriage…

@badabing

Lol, the women in my immediate household are actually fine (mum/sister who was raised around 4 boys) - I’ve seen too many of my friends/cousins/uncles/even my dada ji (desi and non-desi) get burnt in marriage by narcissistic entitled women - not worth it in my opinion. Plus women are too clingy in marriage, not worth the headache. I’ve come across a few good women, but they happen to be non-muslim in most cases, which is a no no for me. So, what exactly will I do for kids, haven’t quite figured that out - surrogate + nanny?

So you’re picky about your wife being muslim but you’re okay with a surrogate? is that Islamically allowed?
There are many good women out there…women who go above and beyond when it comes to doing their share yet men with opinions as “colourful” as you have trouble seeing the positive. (And isnt’ it convenient that all the women in your own household are fine. )

Why should the man subsidize the woman’s choice to be a stay at home in the form of spousal support after divorce?

And just so you know…there are plenty of examples where the choice to stay at home and provide a wholesome, secure environment for a developing child is not solely the woman’s. Many men see the benefits in not leaving child rearing to hired help, at least for the first 3 or 4 formative years of a child’s life until they start schooling.

All the people talking about the Islamic perspective - islamically, your husband only supports you during iddat after divorce, but you get child maintenance…

As far as I recall, the discussion is centered around the fact that the responsibility to support the household during the marriage rests squarely on the shoulders of the husband according to Islamic rules. There is no requirement for the woman to contribute to the family expenses (home, clothing, food, etc.) but if she chooses to do so then every cent she contributes is deemed sadaqa for her. So it’s not about what happens if and when they decide to go their separate ways.

Condolences to your chacha. There are many good men out there that have been taken advantage of. Insha Allah the Almighty will reward them ten-fold for their sacrifices and suffering.

In terms of protecting your interests…both parties should do so. The Islamic system, when administered justly does that as does the civil system. I’m not as familiar with the UK laws but from what I understand of the North American system, many judges will allow both parties to protect those assets which they brought to the marriage. And if that is not enough then drafting a pre-nup can take care of all such interests.