In Islam, their is no concept of Engagements but in our society they are as good as marriage i suppose.
Do you think that is good/bad? How much of meeting and hanging out together between the couple is ok before marriage?
Re: Engagements.
hey are as good as marriage i suppose.
only for retards...
Re: Engagements.
Unfortunately then most are retards 
I don’t blame them but the society because things may have changed a bit but being engaged is like you are nikkah-o-fied. The only good side to this for the couple is that they say oh we are like married so let us do whatever we want to do :halo:.
Re: Engagements.
Unfortunately then most are retards :P
Precisely.
Re: Engagements.
true there is no concept of engagement in Islam and our society has adopted it as a fashion.
but sometimes it becomes necessary...like if some boy likes a girl and want to marry her (vice versa) but isn't in the position of marriage due to studies, job requirements, family issues or anything.... and he/she also knows that some other relative or family friends are also considering her/him for their son/daughter and it would be difficult to say them NO. In such situation engagement can save them from many problems.
Re: Engagements.
Yah. I c that engagements can be good if you are not sure about the risht but want to take your time by meeting the family couple of times and then deciding but i dont think engagements are done for this purpose nowadays. Its more like oh the designers cant get us clothes on time so wl need more time for the wedding prep so meanwhile we can have engagement, lols.
Re: Engagements.
Engagements are totally cultural,nothing to do with religion i agree here with IS. And Zareen you have a valid point too.. Nowadays some people go for simple weddings while many go for extravagant, designers etc etc..
I know a few families where they did Nikkah one day and Valima the next day! No Engagement, Mehndi, Barat...
Re: Engagements.
I don't think engagments are wrong per se, it's when it becomes like a religious ceremony itself it borders on 'innovation' in my opinion. I think people should just keep it to a simple verbal agreement that a marriage between 2 people will happen at x date and time. No need for lavish parties, gifts etc, sometimes I feel that parents spend all this money on egagements to make the child feel really guilty if they want to break the egagement. What really gets on my nerves is this whole delayed ruksati and nikkah been treated as an egagement, in my opinion that makes a mockery of Islam.
Re: Engagements.
What really gets on my nerves is this whole delayed ruksati and nikkah been treated as an egagement, in my opinion that makes a mockery of Islam.
Yah now this i absolutely detest. Unless there is a major issue like for visa or whatever, i dnt c the purpose of having nikkah done without ruksati.
Re: Engagements.
Yah. I c that engagements can be good if you are not sure about the risht but want to take your time by meeting the family couple of times and then deciding but i dont think engagements are done for this purpose nowadays.** Its more like oh the designers cant get us clothes on time so wl need more time for the wedding prep so meanwhile we can have engagement,** lols.
your point is valid ....but if i talk particularly about Pakistan, here in our country there are only a few families that are conscious about such things like designer outfits or other luxuries.....most of the families can't afford such things. khawahish sab karty hain but don't have means to fulfill their desires. according to many economic surveys and articles a lot many people can't even afford meal for three times a day, so how can they think about designer clothes...but the ratio of engagements is very high so we can't say that all the people who prefer engagement before marriage do so only because of designer cloths or other things like that.
many families require time for arrangement of marriage like arrangement of dowry or other things and they ask the other family to wait but they need a confirmation of fixation of rishta so they go for engagement.
Re: Engagements.
your point is valid ....but if i talk particularly about Pakistan, here in our country there are only a few families that are conscious about such things like designer outfits or other luxuries.....most of the families can't afford such things. khawahish sab karty hain but don't have means to fulfill their desires. according to many economic surveys and articles a lot many people can't even afford meal for three times a day, so how can they think about designer clothes...but the ratio of engagements is very high so we can't say that all the people who prefer engagement before marriage do so only because of designer cloths or other things like that. many families require time for arrangement of marriage like arrangement of dowry or other things and they ask the other family to wait but they need a confirmation of fixation of rishta so they go for engagement.
That's a very valid point you made. Most definately for most people the delay can't be arranging the luxeries but just trying to get the basic things in order.
Re: Engagements.
Just because there isn't a mention of something in Islam, it doesn't mean its necessarily wrong. In fact, what's wrong with engagements and the boy and girl getting to know each other before marriage. Or would you prefer that they be complete strangers to each other on their wedding?
Re: Engagements.
Just because there isn't a mention of something in Islam, it doesn't mean its necessarily wrong. In fact, what's wrong with engagements and the boy and girl getting to know each other before marriage. Or would you prefer that they be complete strangers to each other on their wedding?
There is nothing wrong in knowing each other before marriage BUT literally acting and behaving like husband and wife is quite wrong in my eyes atleast.
Re: Engagements.
**our culture and values are sometimes screwed up completely. here are a few examples in relation to marriages:
engagements are considered a kinda insurance that the boy or girl now somehow will NOT change his mind.
boy/girl are NOT allowed to meet after NIKAAH but they are allowed to date as a "mangetar"
the amount of mehr is outrageously and ridiculously HIGH thinking that it will prevent divorce**
Re: Engagements.
IceSoul: No, because Islam does allow a couple to get to know each other first before getting married. Islam doesn't mention two complete strangers marrying eachother.
I agree with what sarab said, nikkahfying a couple and then considering that as an 'engagement' and at the same time delaying a rukhsati is wrong. Because technically, Islamically and basically they couple is married. Most of the times an engagement is merely another reason to have a lavish party. To each their own, but I think it's all a waste of time. Isn't it better to just keep it to a 'baat pakki'?
Re: Engagements.
**our culture and values are sometimes screwed up completely. here are a few examples in relation to marriages:
engagements are considered a kinda insurance that the boy or girl now somehow will NOT change his mind.
boy/girl are NOT allowed to meet after NIKAAH but they are allowed to date as a "mangetar"
the amount of mehr is outrageously and ridiculously HIGH thinking that it will prevent divorce**
This thing should be Quoted 4 Truth multiple, NO, HUNDREDS of times!
Re: Engagements.
i dont think engagements are done for this purpose nowadays. Its more like oh the designers cant get us clothes on time so wl need more time for the wedding prep so meanwhile we can have engagement, lols.
how did you come to this conclusion?
your point is valid ....but if i talk particularly about Pakistan, here in our country there are only a few families that are conscious about such things like designer outfits or other luxuries.....most of the families can't afford such things. khawahish sab karty hain but don't have means to fulfill their desires. according to many economic surveys and articles a lot many people can't even afford meal for three times a day, so how can they think about designer clothes...but the ratio of engagements is very high so we can't say that all the people who prefer engagement before marriage do so only because of designer cloths or other things like that. many families require time for arrangement of marriage like arrangement of dowry or other things and they ask the other family to wait but they need a confirmation of fixation of rishta so they go for engagement.
exactly.
Re: Engagements.
In Islam, their is no concept of Engagements but in our society they are as good as marriage i suppose.
true there is no concept of engagement in Islam and our society has adopted it as a fashion.
Don't toss out fatwas if you are not a scholar. Engagement is very much a part of Islam:
It was narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) got engaged to ‘Aa’ishah. (Al-Bukhaari, al-Nikaah, 4793). And in al-Saheeh it also states that the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) got engaged to Hafsah. (Al-Bukhaari, al-Nikaah, 4830).
“And there is no sin on you if you make a hint of betrothal…”
[al-Baqarah 2:235]
Re: Engagements.
In Islam, their is no concept of Engagements but in our society they are as good as marriage i suppose.
true there is no concept of engagement in Islam and our society has adopted it as a fashion.
Not true.. *There is the concept of engagement, Prophet Mohammed himself (PBUH) got engaged.. Our culture has just chosen to pretend otherwise (perhaps to minimise the risk of the kids rebelling and not going thru with it before the parents can marry them off lol)..
*
Islamic engagement=intention to marry and a signal to others that the person in question is 'promised' (ie other potentials should back off and not propose).. It's only the dating stuff and so on that is not allowed..
Re: Engagements.
Don't toss out fatwas if you are not a scholar. Engagement is very much a part of Islam:
It was narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) got engaged to ‘Aa’ishah. (Al-Bukhaari, al-Nikaah, 4793). And in al-Saheeh it also states that the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) got engaged to Hafsah. (Al-Bukhaari, al-Nikaah, 4830).
“And there is no sin on you if you make a hint of betrothal…”
[al-Baqarah 2:235]
Thanks for correction and such precious info.