^ It matters. NO one but the hubby should be putting that ring on. ANY MIL who prefers to put the ring on her DIL instead of letting her son do it.....be warned....she will be one to watch out for after marriage. This shows her controlling nature from the get-go. A big red flag.
i disagree here. trust me, i have seen my share of insanely jealous insecure MIL who think they own their sons and dont want to even share him with his wife. its not uncommon. but for the most part, MIL puts on the ring because of mehram/na-mehram issue. in many families, it's not appropriate for a guy to even touch a girls hand before they are married for religious reason. i think most MIL who put on the ring is for this reason.
i have seen it happening in some conservative hijabi/niqabi families where girls will never let a guy even get near them unless married.
yes it sounds ridiculous to me, but to each his own.
i am currently having this discussion (read argument) with my fiance to be. They want to have his mom put the ring on me and have said my mom can't put the ring on him because they're both non-mehram so we can't reach a middle ground. I think it'd be insanely weird to have my dad do it (I don't think he'd agree to it anyways) so we're not sure how other people do it. so confusing.
Maybe I'm super liberal but I honestly don't get the big deal...we don't have to hold hands or even really touch putting the ring on. :S
My mil did it for me and my dad did it for my husband and later when everyone was busy with the dinner, I and husband sneaked the exchange again and had pictures done those pictures never made to the engagement album though
LOL I had told my fiance to be that I didn’t want a western proposal since we were doing the ring exchange with the family but I’ve already told him that if his mom puts the ring on then I’m expecting him to get down on one knee and do it over again at some point. Sneaking in the exchange seems like a smart idea.
^ It matters. NO one but the hubby should be putting that ring on. ANY MIL who prefers to put the ring on her DIL instead of letting her son do it.....be warned....she will be one to watch out for after marriage. This shows her controlling nature from the get-go. A big red flag.
Kind of agree with you there.. I mean putting yourself in the middle of their special day, even if it's just an engagement is kind of weird to me.
I think it would send me the wrong message if my MIL insisted on doing that or even thought that it was "besharam" to put a ring on my fiance's finger.
I just don't like when people bring all that into a marriage - especially those who carry on with traditions, even they don't understand simply because "log kya kahengay".
the people getting engaged? lol jokes aside some people still do that. My mamu got married a few years back and my nani (his mum) and khalas went to put the ring on the brides finger without my uncle and vice versa for my uncle without the bride. I find it quite strange tbh. Like what can seriously happen by just putting a ring on each other. Your intending to get married and this has kinda made it official.
Kind of agree with you there.. I mean putting yourself in the middle of their special day, even if it's just an engagement is kind of weird to me.
I think it would send me the wrong message if my MIL insisted on doing that or even thought that it was "besharam" to put a ring on my fiance's finger.
I just don't like when people bring all that into a marriage - especially those who carry on with traditions, even they don't understand simply because "log kya kahengay".
I don't get it because it's not like we're holding hands. Heck, you can probably get away with not even touching each other. Yeah, it's probably not the end of the world but I find it odd that it's soooo taboo. And it's definitely more of the "what will people think" attitude, which I don't understand. It's even weirder in my case because the fiance to be and I have been in school together and it's a "love marriage" so it feels fake and forced to act like we've never been anywhere near each other ever. I'm not advocating making out/holding hands/kissing and such, but it's just a ring!
I don't get it because it's not like we're holding hands. Heck, you can probably get away with not even touching each other. Yeah, it's probably not the end of the world but I find it odd that it's soooo taboo. And it's definitely more of the "what will people think" attitude, which I don't understand. It's even weirder in my case because the fiance to be and I have been in school together and it's a "love marriage" so it feels fake and forced to act like we've never been anywhere near each other ever. I'm not advocating making out/holding hands/kissing and such, but it's just a ring!
Well he's non mahram. He's your fiance not your husband. And you might not think its a big deal but islamically it is. Anyways engagements are part of western culture and as long as the culture doesn't contradict Islams teachings then its fine. So if someone else puts the ring on your finger then that's culture that doesn't contradict Islam.
In modern families in Pakistan, the couple exchange rings themselves. Otherwise the norm is to have elders exchange it. In some families, if the guy wants the exchange of rings to be between the couple, the MIL usually asks the girl's mother if they can do so. If they permit, the rings are exchanged between the couple. People are making the MIL evil in this case but it's not always that. I have seen girls's families object to the practise too.
those pictures never made to the engagement album though 
