Recently my cousin got engaged in Pakistan - I got some pictures the other day and showed to my mum.
The engagement was very simple, within the two families and the guy was wearing the ring to the girl. My mum saw the picture and was like ommg taubaa, besharmi (LOLZ) , its only engagement not Nikkah, it is tradition that the elders put the ring on the girl.
I was soo confused by this reaction of mums, seriously in PK..the girl and guy don’t get to put the rings on each other?
I’ve never heard of this before, as far as I haven’t seen here is western culture and even amongst desi’s.
Can someone enlighten me?
My other cousin said that , times have changed in Pakistan but many people still do the elders put the ring on thing
Yes, I don’t know about now but I remember seeing weddings wear the MILs would put the rings on to their respective DIL and SIL. Which is strange because the bride’s mother and the groom are Na-Mehram so it would be the same thing as the bride and groom putting rings on each other.
I have actually seen this in some areas of Pakistan where the rishta is fixed then the mother of the groom goes to the girls house and puts the ring on the going-to-be DIL. I found it a little strange to be honest but it does happen.
Ha! Sometimes I can’t believe the things us desis do in the name of Islam and culture. They are perfectly fine with having a engagement party or other wedding events where the bride and groom sit together before the Nikah and are usually sat very close to each other but still find it necessary to exchange rings through the elders like WTF! You are fine with them sitting together, where they are bound to touch each other either purposely or by mistake! Oh and the very obvious thing since when has having engagements, mehndis and shaadis parties the way we have allowed in Islam. Either follow it or don’t contradict it in the same event. I mean seriously!!!
Recently my cousin got engaged in Pakistan - I got some pictures the other day and showed to my mum.
The engagement was very simple, within the two families and the guy was wearing the ring to the girl. My mum saw the picture and was like ommg taubaa, besharmi (LOLZ) , its only engagement not Nikkah, it is tradition that the elders put the ring on the girl.
I was soo confused by this reaction of mums, seriously in PK..the girl and guy don't get to put the rings on each other?
I've never heard of this before, as far as I haven't seen here is western culture and even amongst desi's.
Can someone enlighten me?
My other cousin said that , times have changed in Pakistan but many people still do the elders put the ring on thing
So I imagine your mom will be putting your fiances ring on? lol
In my family if the guy is there(not outside the country) then he puts it on but if he's not then the MIL does it. I've seen both happening cuz in some cases the guy and the girl are not in the same country (eg. One is In Pakistan and the other in America)
I've seen it where if the girls side didn't know which way to go they'd just let the guys side take the lead. So if the guy put the ring on u then u put it on him. And if ur mil puts it on u then ur mom puts it on him. Just so no one gets offended.
Recently my cousin got engaged in Pakistan - I got some pictures the other day and showed to my mum.
The engagement was very simple, within the two families and the guy was wearing the ring to the girl. My mum saw the picture and was like ommg taubaa, besharmi (LOLZ) , its only engagement not Nikkah, it is tradition that the elders put the ring on the girl.
I was soo confused by this reaction of mums, seriously in PK..the girl and guy don't get to put the rings on each other?
I've never heard of this before, as far as I haven't seen here is western culture and even amongst desi's.
Can someone enlighten me?
My other cousin said that , times have changed in Pakistan but many people still do the elders put the ring on thing
What's the confusion about? You're going to sleep with the guy for the rest of your life, who cares if it's the mom who wants to put the ring on? And guess what, because it's an engagement, the guy doesn't get a ring so the whole your mom putting one on him doesn't apply. Wedding day, you can exchange your own bands because you'd be married then.
I still think it's a little out of control for the mom to take that step, but whatever, I'm too amreekan I guess. Marriage is between husband and wife, not husband's mom and wife.
Oh and the very obvious thing since when has having engagements, mehndis and shaadis parties the way we have allowed in Islam. Either follow it or don’t contradict it in the same event. I mean seriously!!!