Emotional issues with kids

[abdelyuuki]

Re: Emotional issues with kids

buy the kid a PS3, she'l forget she even has a lil sister.

[Gr8Heera]

@Niksik

Gr8Heera, you know I did tell her to be bold and tell those uncles not to take your sister but she is too emotional to do that. She prefers me to handle it, also because she thinks they would listen to me as I’m “big.”

I definitely have to work with her more in this area.

Keep telling her that you have to solve your problem yourself. Tell her answers what to say and how to say.

Give her good answers. Keep telling her that when ppl say this you have to answer that and this way let her practice with you.

That is som important. For her life. Keep telling her that ammi can’t be with you all the time to solve your problem. You have to solve your problem.

Keep telling her that they will listen to you.

@Niksik

Talking about mazaaq, I remember one aunty telling her at a party that her parents have left without her. Oh my God, she was devastated. I asked that woman why she said that because it was totally uncalled for but auntyji said, hai beta hum to mazaaq ker rahey they!

Nikki that is so sad and budtamizi. It means you guys are so good and your daughter is so sensitive so they knew how to hurt you and control you.

That is so very wrong. They are teasing you in the name and form of mazaq. They might be jealous of you guys.

You keep telling your daughter about those ppl who do this type of mazaq to her that they are liar don’t believe them. It’s a reality.

You tell yourself in a rude manner that don’t do mazaq to my daughter. I know those ppl who become jealous of your position wealth or anything and see your kid is sensitive they take out their jealous this way.

You have to use sukht rawaiya to those person don’t do that type of mazaq to your daughter.

Also keep telling your daughter kay is tarha kay loag hotay hain jo daikh letay hain kay buchchay uski baat pay yaqeen kartay hain to wo jhoot bol kay buchchon ko daratay hain aur mazaq kartay hain so dartay naheen na hi yaqeen kartay hain.

You also keep telling her that hum apni pyari buchchion kisi ko naheen day saktay. Koi naheen lay ja sakta beta. Assure her that they can’t do that.

Aik to yahan palnay barhnay walay buchchay bholay aur masoom hotay hain apnay pakistanion kay mazaaq naheen samajh patay.

@Mirch

Yup , I agree it is traumatic and devastating for a kid her age to hear those things. We desi have twisted sense of humor in this area. We annoy the heck out of kids.
We never try to come to the level of the kids to understand how they will feel. We do behave like kids when we are among adults but when we are with kids we all of a sudden become , big and strong and scare the kids in the name of mazaq/humor. Again it is not a generalization but a very common observation.

Agree with you Mirch bhai. That is so very wrong. I do mazaq and make fool to my niece and nephew but not to hurt or scare them. That is so very bad for tiny hearted kids.

@abdelyuuki

buy the kid a PS3, she’l forget she even has a lil sister.

No she can’t as I found that she love her sister very much that is the reason ppl teasing her.

Niki didi you have to take step. My sister tell very straight way and angrily when someone does any mazaq to her kids that can affect or hurt her. You have to do that. Don’t be that much polite to those ppl.

You daughter will become more sensitive and that is so not good for a girl you know that after marriage.

Keep shikhain her everything for her whole life how and what to do. Insha Allah she will learn.

[RupayHalwa]

Tell them that as long as u or her pa r there and someone says that to them, its a joke game that adults play and should b treated as such. Make it a game, tell them they are allowed to respond by saying "No, my mum won't let u take me home!" or something like that.

[Mirch]

@abdelyuuki

buy the kid a PS3, she’l forget she even has a lil sister.

[hareem01]

Talking about mazaaq, I remember one aunty telling her at a party that her parents have left without her. Oh my God, she was devastated. I asked that woman why she said that because it was totally uncalled for but auntyji said, hai beta hum to mazaaq ker rahey they!

you should simply tell those jahil people you don't lie to your kids even in mazaaq. i don't know how do you bear these people, seriously.

[Niksik]

Re: Emotional issues with kids

Thanks everyone for your great suggestions.

Really, sometimes these mazaaqs can be real hurtful. Earlier, they were just annoying but now I feel they are totally uncalled for.

[Mirch]

Re: Emotional issues with kids

Nikki please note these people are not doing it for annoying you or the kids , they are trying to be friendly with you and your kids.
This is what they learned , you will see more of this kind of behavior in fobs , these are the kind of jokes their elders cracked with them. They do not understand how devastating and traumatic it is for the kids.
I, my cousins , neighbors , friends all were victims of these kind of jokes. We all outgrow them but then we also forget that how hurtful they were for us when we were kids.

So what to do , I gave you a tip which should work without hurting feeling of those who are your friends and surely they love you and your kids but do not know how to express it better.

Two more ideas:
1.Start a group called save our kids from hurtful jokes of friends . Come up with some nice acronym of the group and hold meetings and open chapters of group nationwide you will make some money working for this group.

2. Write a two page brochure on this topic and distribute it to all your friends.

I am not kidding at all. I am very serious.

[njgal]

Nikki please note these people are not doing it for annoying you or the kids , they are trying to be friendly with you and your kids. This is what they learned , you will see more of this kind of behavior in fobs , these are the kind of jokes their elders cracked with them. They do not understand how devastating and traumatic it is for the kids. I, my cousins , neighbors , friends all were victims of these kind of jokes. We all outgrow them but then we also forget that how hurtful they were for us when we were kids.

You are so right Mirch. I can relate.

[njgal]

Talking about mazaaq, I remember one aunty telling her at a party that her parents have left without her. Oh my God, she was devastated. I asked that woman why she said that because it was totally uncalled for but auntyji said, hai beta hum to mazaaq ker rahey they!

That was so mean! But again I know she wasn't trying to be mean.

[Niksik]

Re: Emotional issues with kids

Mirchi paa, I know that their intentions may not be bad but it's this habit of some desis to do silly mazaaq.

I like your ideas. I've already talked to these particular people so hopefully they would be more sensitive.

[waterfall99]

Re: Emotional issues with kids

I think asking people straightaway not to joke this way may sound quite rude,even though you don't mean to be rude.Perhaps when they joke this way with kids,and if parents feel such jokes may affect their kids,then,the parents clarify it to their kids infront of them that they are just kidding.

[njgal]

Re: Emotional issues with kids

Even if you talk to some folks they wont understand. I get "Tumhari bachi itni sensetive kioyoun hai?"

I say - "ab hai - kia kareen?"

[Niksik]

Re: Emotional issues with kids

waterfall99, I called them up and told them that my daughter is going through this sensitive phase so could you please not joke about that with her? They were very understanding and said that they would be careful. I was very polite and put it on my daughter as a "growing" phase... because I didn't want them to feel like I didn't appreciate their love for my kids.

[TLK]

@Mirch

Yup , I agree it is traumatic and devastating for a kid her age to hear those things. We desi have twisted sense of humor in this area. We annoy the heck out of kids. .

You know, when I was in grade 3, i got this lice problem and had some in my hair. I remember this barber, calling another adult saying 'hey let me show you this" and start to show my head lice to him, without even bringing me in the conversation. Its like as a kid, I was not even existed.

I remember that incident hurt my esteem so badly that I was scared of getting a hair cut, in the school I started wearing a cap on full time basis so no one can see my head or notice any lice, I was sacred of sitting on the front bench and started sitting on the last row, so no one is sitting behind me and can look at my head/hair

[Niksik]

Re: Emotional issues with kids

Who is that barber :ASA:

[TLK]

Re: Emotional issues with kids

back in Pakistan :D

[K337]

Re: Emotional issues with kids

aww:(