What’s the point of sending your daughters to college/university when ultimately you’re not gonna give them the option to work? I will scream if I hear the ‘You can work after your married’ argument one more time. I’m not slaving in uni to then not pursue a career. Do parents even realise how much work goes into being a student and getting a degree? It’s NOT easy. And then I get the ‘we’ll find someone who will provide enough for you so you don’t have to work’. IT’S NOT ALL ABOUT THE MONEY! I’m interested in my field, I want to excel in it and I want to make a name for myself. There is NOTHING wrong with choosing not to work after marriage and being a full time wife and mom but why don’t people realise that’s not what every Asian women wants to do? And then I talk about getting a job now and I get ‘we give you all the money you need, you don’t need a job’. Ummm okay but then what if I get married to a man who can’t provide for us and I need to get a job and I go for an interview and they ask to see my CV and I say ‘oh sorry, I’m 23 years old and this is the first job I’ve ever applied for’. Wowww yeah chances of me getting that job are realllll high.
Agh.
As parents, will you encourage your daughters to build careers? Will you discriminate between your sons and daughters when it comes to education and work?
lol..you are talking about after getting married here...well i'm an engineer, completed my graduation last year..and im forced to sit at home doing nothing..and it kills me!!! no matter how much i try to make my parents understand, how much i argue..it doesnt work..
One of my friends used to tell his nieces and nephews " Baita Alif parh k na dayna warna saree umer key museebat khari ho jai gee" :D
I will try to translate for ABCDs , BBCDs, CBCDs and NBCDs.
"Son do not say A for apple ever , if you did then you will be getting educated for the rest of your life and that is not an easy life."
i guess its all about being a good mother/wife/dil.. i mean if you are well-educated you will have less difficulties in life while raising your kids. having compromises with you hubby/ mil...well thats what i think :/ but im against all this! if you have worked so hard to achieve your dreams you should get the chance to fulfill them!!
Whats the point? There are many! I will go on the assumption that we're talking about a girl who is going to marry and become a housewife.
First, an educated woman is more interested and interesting. This will make her a better wife and a better mother. Husband will be able to talk with her about much more than domestic things. She will be better able to teach her children well.
If she does make use of her education and work until the littles arrive, she will have some valuable experience. She will have a really good idea of what her husbands day is like and be better able to relate to him.
If something should happen to her husband, she will be much better able to fend for herself and provide for her children. I would think that would be a huge plus for both husband and wife because otherwise, she would have to seek out another man to provide for her and her children - a desperate and dependent situation.
What is the down side of it? None that I can see...other than the cost of college. But then, an educated woman would very likely attract better rishtas so I think it would even out in the end.
I think it is sad, Pakistan really needs more highly skilled women in the labor force, this will bring about a revolution in human rights, as it happened in the western nations after WW2.... Parents really need to start changing there perspective, well at least now they are starting to send daughters to school, the prior generation wasn't even allowing that.
Looking at the behavior of educated people at public and religious places , government offices, hospitals , games fields , protest rallies I doubt that statement.
So we can say Education is supposed to refine personality and character , but it fails to do in most cases. Only few gain something meaningful out of it and practice it.
Parents should let their daughters work, its gives them more self confidence and lets you see what the real world is like, you don't necessarily have to work cuz you need money.
My dad is from a very conservative backgound but he let me and my sister work, he always says "I want my daughters to be independent, to be able to support themselves if the need arises (God forbid)".... I think thats the right attitude and I wish all parents thought that way.
I'm inshaAllah going to make my kids as independent as possible, after teaching them right from wrong.... you can't protect your kids from the real world forever.
so purpose of education is just to go out and earn better? and I thought
education builds your character
educated moms builds better family (and ultimately society)
education makes someone aware of what they don’t know
education make people better decision maker in their life
but then i might be wrong?
PS: parents not letting girls work is totally different topic but assuming that if you are not allowed to work there is no point in getting education is a non-starter.
I would say parents need to be clear on this… if they don’t want their daughters to work (and are totally strict about it), why make them study for those degrees they are not interested in?
IMHO education is a MUST for everyone BUT if you’re not allowed to work, then pursue a degree you’re interested in, something fun… instead of slaving away. Just my two cents
P.S. I’m working and its the field I studied, BUT if I was given an option to go back in time… I would go back and get a degree in elementary education and pursue a teaching career probably, I LOVE kids and teaching them is so great :hinna: If only our society got out of the mentality that money is everything and that being an engineer/doctor is better than anything else.
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As parents, will you encourage your daughters to build careers? Will you discriminate between your sons and daughters when it comes to education and work?
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Nop. Daughters have as much as a right to education and careers as men.
Okay so I'm going to quote a scene from a Pakistani drama (for all of those MZZBN lovers!). The girl wants to pursue higher education amid resistance from her uber-conservative family, and when discussing it with her cousin/fiance, she asks him why he studied and earned a degree. He answers, well to get a job and earn money. Then he turns around and asks her, why do you want to study, and she responds, "sha-oor haasil karney kai liyey" or as I've loosely translated it - to seek enlightenment and self-knowledge. I loved her response, because I think that is the essence of learning.
Yes, most of us seek practical degrees that will lead to specific careers and earn us a certain income. But in addition to the career prospects, an education should also be undertaken for personal and social enlightenment. Yes, not all educated people are enlightened and not all uneducated people are ignorant - but getting an education opens you up to avenues and ideas you may not have otherwise encountered. Even the socialization and conversation you participate in at an institution of higher learning makes one a well-rounded person - because you meet people and exchange ideas with people you may not have otherwise met.
I was very fortunate - my undergraduate degree was a liberal arts degree and I loved every minute of my learning experience for exactly the reasons I've stated above. My graduate degree was more practical and gave me the professional skills and designation for a career of my choice.
Working and applying your education, as well as interacting outside of the home is rewarding for the most part and parents should not deny the opportunity to their daughters. There may come a day when she doesn't want to work - but to make it inaccessible is to take from her her choices.
My mom’s jutti was enough to build me a decent character, I didn’t need to slave in college and lose my beautiful hair with stress
Now that college has taken so much out of me, I just can’t bear the thought of not putting my degree into use and not making a career for myself.
Inshallah I will always be a career woman, and my parents support me and encourage me in every way. In fact, if it wasn’t for my mom’s “kuch bun k dikhana hai” wish, I wouldn’t even have worked that hard.
My parents have never differentiated between me and my brothers. Being a girl doesn't come into the equation. I'm a Law grad and have worked ever since I graduated... but not due to financial reasons..... (just for my own fazool kharchi... lol) My parents think it is important for a woman to be independent and be able to stand on her own two feet. She needs to know how to support and do things for herself.
If I didn't want to work, I don't have to - but what else are you going to do sitting at home all day??!!! Working after marriage is another thing altogether.... I'm only talking about working BEFORE marriage here...
....speaking of work... I better get off the net and go do some!! :)
KP… have you tried rationally and calmly explaining all this to your parents? How hard you’ve studied and how its not about money but achieving something. Keep talking to them (brainwashing over time helps ) and always do it in a calm, mature way… no yelling, no tantrums, no arguing… just make your points and keep repeating them … again and again. You never know, they might give in (InshaAllah). Good luck!!
and I thought
(yes, I am a mod) Now lick my feet and apologise.. wait.. no… ewww.. 
) and always do it in a calm, mature way… no yelling, no tantrums, no arguing… just make your points and keep repeating them … again and again. You never know, they might give in (InshaAllah). Good luck!!