earnings and husbands

Society Religion & Philosophy
1

I wanted to ask you guys from an Islamic point of view. Do I need to tell how much I earn and how many properties I got in my name to my husband?

2

Re: earnings and husbands

He doesn't have any claim to your properties or your earnings according to Islam. Though whether you'd be required to tell him if he were to ask, I don't know, but I'd ask an aalim about it if I were you.

3

Re: earnings and husbands

Well...as long as he is not asking you share from your earnings or even your properties legally..what is the harm??. Khair..ask aalim or something..

4

earnings and husbands

Actually he did ask me and everything I have I got before I got married to him and I don't want to sell it because its my safety net that's why I don't want to tell him about it

5

Re: earnings and husbands

Well either way he has no claim over it. So if you don't want to sell, he can't make you sell. I'd ask an aalim first. If he's after your wealth, then I'd avoid telling him anything unless I can confirm it with an aalim first.

6

Re: earnings and husbands

As far as I know about the issue:

No, you do not have to tell your husband what you have neither your husband have to tell you what he has. In Islam, your properties and earnings are yours and his properties and earnings are his. On top of that, regardless of your wealth, it is his duty to provide you for your living requirements (food, cloth and shelter) according to your background status (if he can).

Anyhow, that is strictly Islamic ruling, but then marriage is partnership of trust, and there should be no harm in sharing information. Again, that does not mean you have to. In most cases, especially if marriage is long and established, then people do share their earnings … though wives do not have to, but there is no restriction if they do. Still properties and savings should stay with person (husband or wife) who owns it.

Above is important, as, if it is not done then there would be effects on inheritance (anything of wife what husband have or vice versa, would not reach heirs). The reason is, husbands or wives are not 'only' heirs of each other. Wives could have heirs who are nothing to do with husband (for instance, wife’s parents, children, and siblings). She might have kids from previous marriage too who are her heirs. Even kids from her current husband are heirs on their own right. Same is with heirs of husband.

As for husband asking his wife to dispose her properties or give him money from savings, then that he has no right neither it is appropriate … think that even when trust is absolute, wife or husband have heirs who would get deprived if such would happen … plus, as you said, what wife have is hers and also it is her security.

Thus, I think wives should never listen to husband in this regards (if husband insists then it shows that husband is greedy and untrustworthy, so one should never trust especially such husband with properties and savings), unless wife herself desire to help her husband and he is not only trustworthy but needs her help (actually, if it is to do for buying properties or investing in business, then wife should insist that property or business should be in her name). On the other hand, whatever wife gives to her husband, she should clear it to him that it is loan (having paper work done is also not a bad idea ... as then, heirs would be able to get from husband what they inherited).

Well, situation in Islam is such that wife can even give Zakat to husband if husband is deserving candidate and wife has enough that she is liable of giving Zakat. {But then, since husband is responsible for wife’s living, he could not give Zakat to wife).

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earnings and husbands

Where do you live? If you're in a Muslim country then you've got the law on your side..he has no say/hold on your earnings and prooerty. If you're in a western country..especially the US, then after consulting an aalim, I'd go straight to a family law/estate planning attorney because if live in a community property state, unless there is an iron clad prenuptial agreement, everything you earn/own is 50% his and vice versa should the marriage dissolve.

Honestly speaking, if you are wanting to hide/not disclose personal assets in your marriage, it sounds like there are deeper issues to address between you two. It sounds like you have a feeling already that you may not last with him?! Don't mean to pry, but you sound uneasy.

When my parents passed away, I inherited a sizable amount of money as well as properties from their Estates, Andy husband never so much as even looked or asked about any of it. Of course I discussed with him and disclosed, and wanted is to come to a mutual decision on how and what to do with my inheritance but at the end of the day, he said it was mine to do with as I pleased, and not his decision to make.

Same with my earnings/income. We mutually decided on an amount that I would contribute towards household expenses & mutual savings and the rest is mine to keep separately.

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Re: earnings and husbands

Agreed with Sa1eem. As per islamic sharia , husband has no right on wife earnings and property.

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earnings and husbands

Legally my husband can't claim my property because my dad made sure that whatever I came with will be mine and my husband signed the papers but ever since we got married he is asking what I own. I haven't been married for that long and we already had some problem money wise in our marriage. He knows how much I earn and I do share my income with him and I don't mind doing it. It's not like I earn a lot plus I am studying too so almost all of my money goes into my studies.
I just don't want him to know what I own because if anything happens than I want something to fall back on. Beside his mom is always asking for money more than normally have so the last thing I want is her to find out what I own

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Re: earnings and husbands

Is his mother asking him for money or is she asking you? Would the fact that they have no claim to your money/property according to Islam be enough to stop them for asking for it/trying to get it? Would his knowing about it lead to his mother also knowing about it and then pressure on you to give them something from it?

11

She ask us both when she calls us. My husband tells her everything even what happens in our bedroom. She ask him about stuff and he answer even if I tell him not to tell her about our private life but he does tell her because he says he can't lie to her if she ask. I will never give give in to pressure but it will create an argument and put a strain in our relationship and I don't want that.

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Re: earnings and husbands

I read your all posts in this thread and after getting an idea of how your husband and inlaws sound, I think its better for you that you DONT reveal on them about the property or savings your hold at least at the moment.

Even when you build a strong relationship and you finally are ready to disclose it, I would suggest, dont tell him that you have been owning these properties or savings since the first day of marriage, this could become a reason of fights between you two and create unnecessary trust issues.
In future, just disclose him like, my parents have JUST gifted me the property or maybe wait for some occasion like baby birth or anything.... and tell him that its a gift from my parents... but telling him that you actually owned it for a long time and revealing it to him now, would hurt him too as well as can create fuss too!!

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Re: earnings and husbands

This would sound crass and insensitive but seems like your husband never grew a pair. Its one thing to respect your mother, but to tell her every bit of detail of your personal matters is just grossly inappropriate.
Getting back to the matters at hand ... as a previous poster mentioned, if you are living abroad, consult a lawyer promptly to make sure your money stays with you. He has no business asking about your property.

14

Re: earnings and husbands

i would be pretty pissed off if my wife decided to keep a secret stash of money and property while we were trying to make a life together. why marry a guy you can't even trust in the first place?

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Re: earnings and husbands

Why should husband n in-laws are more interested in wife properties n savings?? Husband n in-laws have no legal n islamic right on woman property and if they insists on asking then it means they are greedy to have it. Its better not to tell ur husband becoz it will create more n more fuss.

As Queen said, dnt tell it till u have strong relation, after having children and living a prosperous life till u n ur children are secure enough from your husband n in-laws fuss, then u can reveal what u hold or ur parents gifted / transferred to u.

Sometime its better to keep secrets in relation to keep ur relation healthy. U r not doing wrong by not telling him.

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earnings and husbands

Thanks guys! I think for now I will just keep it for myself until I trust him enough

17

This exactly! The fact that you don't trust him enough to disclose that you have property/money in your name only speaks volumes about your marriage. I think you need to concentrate on that aspect of your relationship, rather than mulling over wether to tell him or not. Is this a marriage you really want to be in?

18

Re: earnings and husbands

shuker hay aqal aa gayee :D

19

Re: earnings and husbands

Sometimes you Have to keep the secrets and it has nothing to do with the Trust Issues at all. Not everyone shares the same volume of relationship and not everyone learns to build trust at early stage.

Some people trust others all at once while others take a lot of time. There is no point of doubt and scaring the OP if she wants to remain in the marriage or not just because at the moment she is not feeling like sharing something... just because she needs some time to trust him.... and trust builds gradually..... to some.... its always there, to some, it takes time... So OP there is nothing wrong with your concerns.

Also, it may sound pretty weird to you because you might not be "that kind of guy" but guys are not same.... maybe she is feeling like hiding it from him because declaring him may cause her more serious problems at the moment or maybe she doesn't trust him at the moment... but it doesn't mean that she wont trust him in future at all, I think she needs some time..... and there is nothing wrong with that!!

20

Re: earnings and husbands

Well it is possible to keep a secret without keeping a secret. Tell your husband that you have some of your own wealth and you do not wish to disclose to him the amount in case that disclosure becomes a fitnah between you two. Say it such that you have for yourself "a modest amount of security" as a woman in Islam is allowed to have and is within her rights to have.

Tell him that he should respect your wishes and not put pressure on you by asking how much you have. And threaten slightly that if you DO tell him the amount of what you have, that you will then give it all away to your parents to hold as custodians/guardians to ensure the security.

This should be enough to get him off your case.

Prayers for you ... :)