Re: E-Mail Rights
^ Not necessarily. I'd actually be offended if my SO even asked. But then, again, I don't use email for personal stuff anyway, and my SO should know me better to know that if there was something interesting in the e-mail, I'd blab it to him anyway.
CM: What about the people you are sharing these e-mails with? I.e. family and friends - do they know that your SO sees them all, or at least has access to them all?
Re: E-Mail Rights
My friends are extremely cool on this matter. The thing is i grew up in a western environment so i have seen girlfriends answer phones and talk for their boyfriends, write me e-mails in response because my friend was too busy or too lazy to do so. They sign their own names. It is commonly understood in my large (30 to 40 people) group of friends that our SO's do check our e-mails and do read them and do respond.
Plus i trust my SO completely. She can read whatever she want and respond to whatever she wants. She is actually intouch with my closest friend in Geneva. They speak regularly.
Edit: That 30 to 40 is my group of friends not including their SOs.
Re: E-Mail Rights
Can we stop using the word SO? I just realized what it reminds me of...a female pig.
Re: E-Mail Rights
Actually, if the term "SO" is used for a boyfriend/hubby, then I guess its okay. I mean, ya gotta call a spade a spade afterall.
Re: E-Mail Rights
PCG how does any of that related to the topic at hand? I am very happy my SO trusts me and i know for a fact she loves she can check up on me :p
Re: E-Mail Rights
I don't see how this could be an issue? Those who feel comfortable can mutually exchange their passwords and those who don't can celebrate their online privacy.
Re: E-Mail Rights
CM how do u get 30-40 friends? I barely have 4 
Re: E-Mail Rights
I am honestly very social. I have had a rep of being the "go to guy" since i was in 8th grade. If you need anything done i was your man.
Re: E-Mail Rights
Well, doesn't it really depend on how you feel about your partner being able to access your every e-mail account? Personally, I would want to be able to for many reasons and it doesn't necessarily mean you are spying on them (okay, it is so in one out of what -hundreds?). It's better than worrying yourself sick because you don't know what the heck your sweetie is up to behind your back.
Re: E-Mail Rights
^ Well, but if you're worrying what he's doing then isn't that a negative sign in the first place, which should make you sit down and question why you have a suspicion?
(It could be his behavior, his attitude about having multiple women, or your own inability to trust people, etc - many different causes)
Re: E-Mail Rights
Oh and to throw a little wrench in some of your theories...
When you know your beloved is checking your emails, then will you not tend to be on your best behavior?
I know one can go out of their way to show their worst side to someone just to see if they'll stick around (I know it well - I do it all the time), but most people I don't think tend to try that technique...
They just take extra care that you don't see their negative side when checking their emails...
:)
Kinda like how when you live with someone before marrying them, and you think it might show you their dirty side...but couples still get divorced after marriage, because all of a sudden these nasty habits pop up out of nowhere...
(I remember there being a study done on that once).
Re: E-Mail Rights
I am not! I was referring to other such cases. For instance, my sister is a bit Shaki, she needs to know what his fiance is doing every friggin’ minute. So she has access to his e-mail acounts and everything else -that keeps her nerves cool (I think)
For me, I could care less about accessing his e-mail accounts. I do so to keep his inbox clean, he hardly ever comes online, sunday kay sunday …
Re: E-Mail Rights
So technically, it doesn’t let you go off track, and eventually you forget about letting out the dirty side and concentrate more on working on the good side, hai na?
Re: E-Mail Rights
pcg, will u stop cheating on ur man. tera sirr tai danda pen valaa hai buss.
Re: E-Mail Rights
PCG you know too many weirdos. Move outta Miami will ya already!
Re: E-Mail Rights
PCG I think its ‘normal’ for people to worry or be jealous when they care about each other. If they were not jealous at all of each other, then I would say something was wrong in the relationship. As I see it, exchanging email and other passwords is like saying “I wish to share everything with you.” I mean come on, siginificant others are not like friends or siblings. They are in a completely different category.
It’s not about a lack of trust either. And you might notice one day that he doesnt even have to ask for your password. You’ll just give it and vice versa. For thats how I think relationships work. Well of course they differ from couple to couple.
Its not that one wishes to see what the significant other is up to. Nope. Its that they ‘can’ if they wish. The option should always be there. And trust me when you know somebody well enough , and he/she is your significant other , theres no need to put up your best or most positive side. I mean in a relationship the other person gets to see the worst side too - mayhap sooner than we’d want. 
Re: E-Mail Rights
I still find it very weird, and I really don't agree that its normal to be jealous. Maybe to tease one another, that's whatever. But like serious jealousy...er...I dunno - that's not healthy to me, at least. I'd rather worry about other things - and I'd rather my partner worry about other things.
I guess its because my parents never have any shak over one another. My dad does business all over so he used to fly around a lot. His boss was a bit loose and would make him take him to clubs, and well, there are some stories in my journal like Office Girl. But she never checks his pockets, she never goes to his office to find out what's going on, etc. Cuz she knows that if a lady comes onto him, he usually just makes some excuse and runs outta there.
Anyhoo, I don't think spying on each other makes much sense. It can be a bit annoying when someone keeps bothering you about this and that.
The reason I raise this topic is because I know of one married couple that does it, and I know of one couple who is dating (or well, was) that did it. In the latter case, their break up was due to something the girl found on the guy's email - it was an email from another girl. But it was silly, and I sometimes wonder whether it would have been healthier had he just been honest and admitted the email to his gf rather than her having to stumble upon it via email.
Re: E-Mail Rights
couldn’t have said it better myself.
Re: E-Mail Rights
That is becasue you appear to be a sane and reasonably functioning adult. At this moment in time - i cannot talk for your other posts. Being jealous is not a normal thing to do - it is a disability / personality flaw.
