A recent event. My uncle was visiting Gujrat to see a “rishta” for his son. On the way they had to stop at some place, suddenly a red Honda civic appeared, the door opened and a child thrown out of it.
They were stunned but this was not all, next moment another child was thrown out. Then the driver got out of the car and so did a woman. They then started pulling one of the two children each in opposite direction. An older woman then emerged out of car and tried to calm them down.
Uncle said it reminded me of proverb, “Gujrat di tey maan vi nahiN honi chaye di” (with apologies to Gujrati people)
This incident aside, i tink there are lot of dysfunctional families in Pakistan and no professional help is availble to them. The mot vulnerable in such environment are children.I
think “most” families back home are dysfunctional. When i was in Pakistan, our house was cetainly emotionally charged, i dunno if it come into dysfunctional or not. Things changed as we moved abroad, when i was 6.
Remember one of our neighbors took all the cothes off her son, threw him out of house and locked the door. The poor kid was crying clinging to the door. His mysery only ended when my Grandma went over and talked the mom into letting the child inside. Another kid in my class in Pak, his Dad used to beat him so much that he ran from home several times.
I hope things have changed for the better in Pakistan, but, i doubt. Media and NGO’s can play an important role. But at present right of women wearing jeans is taking priority over more important and treatable social evils.
by the way, were those child thrown out of the window from the running car or what? How old were they and how come no one reported the incident to the police.. such ppl don’t deserve to be parents and if they become one anyway they shouldn’t be allowed to keep the children.
I completely agree with Lajawab; if one raises a family the proper islamic way u can't go wrong; however more than Islamic, its really about how much morality one has, and what these kids do to their kids is really unethical! we need more social workers in pakistan!
Chand and Lajo (no offense intended for short niks) ... you cannot say that its all due to lack of following Islaam. I mean if this were the case then Pakistan and all the other islaamic countries would be producing the "best of the best" which is not truly the case.
The world is a complex place. There are dysfunctional families in every country, every society, every walk of life. Just be sure to make your own family "functional" and not worry about the others.
I would say lack of education...and laws for protecting children rights. It's just too sad.
Infact, I can't see a moderation anywhere, whether it's east or west. In east elders are the boss, in the west it's the kids!:) And every boss is exploiting his power.:D
I think at least in Pakistan the neighbors/relatives pay attention and care enough to get involved help...this stuff happens in the west but no one knows often till it's too late..
Beating your child up only brings a sense of insecurity, hatred, and disgust for your parents! This never really solves the problem, rather talk through instead of cursing or beating the poor thing up.
People are so stupid in Pakistan, its revolting. I knew this one kid who was really weak in math, and I mean REALLY weak. Instead of getting him tutored or going through the problem slowly with him, rather his dad used to beat the crap out of him, he often peed in his pants because of this fear. Poor thing, he prolly had a learning disability. Today, he HATES his dad!
Often children who are not loved and often beaten up or abused end up hating their parents or become abusive themselves.
wake up people apne mulaak ko kio itna badnaam karte ho
Dysfunctional families are EVERYWHERE.
I do find numerous Dysfunctional Families you see all those Nursing homes filled with those old poor people. Well atleast our culture/Religion teaches us to respect our parents and keep them close to our heart even when they are on their dead bed.
Its sad when you see these stupid teenages have protection order againts their own parents. Or these stupid parents who have freakin 5 kids but they love hanging in front of a strip club instead of making some money for kids. Its sad to see so many lives living on public assitant.
You know when i went back home i saw so many families even those poor poor one. Those people were happy with what they have. Yes there are various problems but there is a lot of good that our society has doen for us.
I just need to share an experience...
My hubby (raised in a Mulim household) used to be thoroughly punished as a kid. He bears a scar on his upper arm that his mum had caused by burning him with hot iron bcos he got less B instead of A in maths at school. And this is just one of the things he tells me. He is so insecure even as an adult somehow angry at his mum yet wants to still win her approval. I married him and converted to Islam, but in order to over-please his mother, he expects me to be more muslim than a muslim. His sis-in-law (born muslim) gets away with murder on the other hand....but see how parents affect their children well into their adulthood. This has got spill-over effects onto the next generation. I was raised in a non-violent home...yes ocassional thwacks were there...but nothing serious. He does not admit he has a problem...What do I do?
I just need to share an experience...
My hubby (raised in a Mulim household) used to be thoroughly punished as a kid. **He bears a scar on his upper arm that his mum had caused by burning him with hot iron bcos he got less B instead of A in maths at school. And this is just one of the things he tells me. He is so insecure even as an adult somehow angry at his mum yet wants to still win her approval. I married him and converted to Islam, but in order to over-please his mother, he expects me to be more muslim than a muslim. His sis-in-law (born muslim) gets away with murder on the other hand....but see how parents affect their children well into their adulthood. This has got spill-over effects onto the next generation. **I was raised in a non-violent home...yes ocassional thwacks were there...but nothing serious. He does not admit he has a problem...What do I do?
