pehle to ye, ke me aksar dupatta karti hoon ghar ke baahir, ( kabhi khissak bhi jaata haye, and I dont notice that) at home I cover my head when needed, aghar mehmaan aaye haye, and so on.
if its asked neatly ( be it my inlaws, be it my hubby) , say ke dupatta mere sar pe tha, oor khissak ghaya, to me kar lu ghi, thats not a problem.
but if its asked as a command, to yeah, I will resist, same thing what alot of people said here before, ke force nahie karna chaahiye.
par Khair, 8 of the 10 times, my dupatta is on my head. :-)
kabhi kabhi careless hoon kar nahie bhi leti, to be honest. baad me phir bhi kar leti hoon.
tell me something, did you cook for your in-laws when they came over etc?? you sure they didn’t run for their own health … hehe.
Lost,
Naheen, well DD, I hardly had one or two brief encounters with them. THis whole thing that is the baat paki and stuff happened in my absence while I was in US. So, my mum took very good care of those, thankless souls…
Irem…
I’m permanently moving back to pak in july inshallah…will be in khi for some time and then in pindi…going on an all pak tour and then prolly back to khi or pindi not definite…
aaj kal aap khi mein haen? mere pyaray shehr ko mera salaam zaroor arz ker dena suna hay aaj kal bari zabardast garmi hae…
aap kab tak haen khi mein?
Lost,
Sure, Irem abhi daiti hoon aap ka salam, hehe. Well the weather is wierd here. It was sooooo hot and humid two weeks back with flu and viral infections on the rise… now its a bit pleasant but very windy with dhool tay mitti everywhere.
I dunno how long I am in Khi, depends on whether I want to pursue my studies, career… I have absolutely no clue. I am just lost, hehe. My home is here, might as well go to Lahore/pindi for short trips to, err.. meet my cousins and extended family.
lemme know when u r here… tumharay kaan khainchnay hain, u make us read thos long posts
Laeeqkhan, this thread is not about whether to wear hijab or not - for that go to the religion section and do your cut and paste there.
The discussion here is about accepting things such as hijab for your husband/inlaws after marriage. It's about willingness to make changes to accomodate your new family.
DD, how did I make them realise some things? It wasn't easy. At first I tried really hard to fall in and did all sorts of things even when they weren't easy for me. Finish three kameezes for my sis in laws, do the button holes, buy the buttons (and they had to be nice!), get them back in record time ... for no thanks! It got to be so they were expecting me to do everything but when I needed something they weren't there. Things really changed when I had kids and simply couldn't find time to do things. At first I procrastinated but got better and better telling them that I diidn't have the time. If they came and kept house for me then I could do things for them. I started thinking about myself, and wondering why I had to work without end but they had time to relax and have fun. I decided that if I was to stop being cinderella, noone was going to help me except myself. So I gradually learnt to say no, gently but firmly.
Things like
I need my sleep.
There are three other women in the house, I made breakfast today, someone else can do it tomorrow.
If you need me to cook please make sure my children are clean and happy for the hours I am busy in the kitchen.
etc. etc.
I had to get my anger out - that didn't help me. I found if I could say things calmly, and firmly with a smile then the results were better.
The thread is named Dupatta/Hijaab. It was therefore very important to know, calling ourselves Muslims, of what is required of us (although many of us know this). Secondly, religion is in no way separate from life. It is life. How can it be ignored and put in a separate thread.
If you read what I have cut and Pasted, you will understand whether Islam comes first or other people's preference. Depends on Iman (which i am not questioning or commenting upon-because Allah knows best).
I do personally believe that Hijab cannot be imposed. We can only educate.
There would be a point where hijab has to be imposed for the collective good of the society. If the society without any minimum restrictions starts being too liberal and the dress becomes shorter and shorter in the name of fashion, then something has to be done about it. Inlaws may desire whatever. Actually its the husband whom you are obliged to listen to. If you have hidayah and think that Hijab should be worn than convince the husband and don't care about anybody if you know that it is a commandment of God. Men on the other hand, also need to dress modestly and lower their gaze.
suna hay aaj kal bari zabardast garmi hae…