lol... i havent read such an awesome post in AGES
on the other hand i agree with points made my aahmed and PSquared..
PSquared... do you really think not allowing ur kids to do their own shopping.. or to even go to a mall till they are in their late teens.. is ok? hmmm
Sadzzz, its not about what I think is okay or not. Its more about what our parents did to make sure they created a mini-Pakistan in our home because they were afraid of what might happen if they didnt. You and I know better and are more comfortable in our surroundings (the West) then our parents were. We probably will not be that way with our kids. My parents didnt like the culture and were threatened by it so they did what they thought was best to ensure my moral safety. They were raised in an even stricter environment so according to them, they were being fairly lenient.
one question... being a strict parent, is that what makes us become "good" pakistanis in western countries? is that what instills the culture in us?
i find it hard to understand this notion... id like to instill good morals in my daughter, but i dont think being strict is the answer.
Like aahmed, i try my best to speak to her in my tooto phooti urdu, lekin watever, i try my best... but im not going to stop her from doing things. Im hoping, by talking to her, by giving her an example, she will learn for herself... like i did
I dont know what makes a good parent or not because I am not a mother. I hope to become one someday Inshallah. When that happens, I guess I'll know what Im talking about in that regard.
What I do know is my parents did their very best and I cannot find fault in anything they did because it made me who I am today. I am very proud of myself and even though it was very rough growing up with so many rules and absolutely no freedom, I can understand every single one of their fears and am grateful. I may not have gone to the mall, but was that such a loss? It sure felt like it at that point but what doesnt at 15? I got other things out of it that stayed with me a lot longer and continue to help me grow.
Who knows the recipe for the perfect parent? No one does, everyone just does their best...whatever that may be...for their children.