As I write this, Im in tears and very, very depressed.
I come from a very close knit family. All our family, uncles, aunts, cousins, share a very close bond even though we live in different states. My cousins are all decent, religious, caring people who are well educated and the younger ones are all doing well in school. Having grown up with them, you can imagine how close we all are, more like siblings than relatives. Suddenly, things have hit rock bottom and I have nowhere to go except here to ask you all for your prayers and advice.
One of my aunts has two sons. The older one is an introvert, respectful and decent kid while the younger one who’s 16 is more of an extrovert, a troublemaker at school but has a very good heart. When he was younger, everyone could see he was into fashion alot wanting to wear new clothes all the time and all that. As he got into his teens, he started acting ghetto, wearing baggy clothes, silver chains, stuff like that. His parents are religious and conservative and they wouldn’t allow him to do all that but we had a feeling he was changing at school anyway. Then his dad caught him talking to a friend on msn saying he wanted to be a black gangster. They talked to him, tried to knock sense into him and he said ok, I won’t talk like that again. But once he started high school, he found the wrong crowd to hang out with such as all the black people, the wannabe thugs/gangsters. After seeing some weird pictures of him on facebook, we all tried talking to him and he played it off really well saying it was all just good fun and nothing else.
Last year a cousin of mine visited his family, and later on she told this kid’s older brother that, ‘keep an eye on him’. My cousin asked her for more details but she didn’t say anything except that he’s hanging out with the wrong crowd, just be careful with him. Once again, we all talked to him, I told his mom and she became extra careful with him such as walking him to school, picking him up, not allowing him to go anywhere. But he still was a trouble maker at school such as skipping, failing all his classes. They lived in Montreal and started considering moving to the states since the rest of the family lives ehre. The nail in the coffin was when he was caught at the school party drinking alcohol with his friends (which he denied saying he was just hanging out with them while they drank). Then he was caught wearing gang colors. Anyway, the parents packed up and moved to states last month, about 3 weeks back.
2 days ago, my cousin called me and told me his brother had run away from home. They were all sleeping and his dad woke up in the middle of night and found him missing. The car was gone too which was weird because this kid is only 16 and he does not drive. He returned home at 7 am and got into a fight with them, picked up his school bag and went to school. He didn’t return home the entire day and night. They called school the next morning and were told that he’s in class. The same day, the school called saying he had been caught with $800 on him in cash. The principal told his parents that he might be into wrong things so we are gonna keep an eye on him. They brought him back home and he denied everything. His dad then spoke to him very, very nicely, and told him that look, we all love you alot. Please don’t do this to us, we beg you. He stayed quiet. When they searched the car, it smelled like weed and they found cigerettes in there.
The next day, his school called again asking them to come over. When the parents went, school authorities told them they had searched his locker and found thousands of dollars in cash and marijuana. They called the cops who searched him and found condoms in his pockets as well. They gave him a ticket saying a court date will follow because they think he’s selling it. Also, since they moved from Canada to states, the police said they are now going to trace it back to Montreal and check his records. Because if they find out that he carried the drugs and cash with him across, the border police will get involved as well. They brought him home and he picked up his bag and ran away. His family then called the cops who are now searching for him. Since his parents are his legal guardians till he turns 18, they have to hire him a lawyer which is going to make them bankrupt with the costs.
Meanwhile that cousin who had told us all to keep an eye on him said last night, oh I knew about it all along. He showed me all the marijuana he was selling, all the cash he had, he told me he smokes and drinks with his friends, he steals from stores. I think after listening to her talk, all of us were stunned and so, so pissed at her. How could she have hid all this from us and that too for a year and a half! My cousin (the older brother) is very upset and doesn’t want to talk to her. It’s like she knew he was playing with fire and didn’t even care enough to tell anyone.
It’s been a day and the cops are still searching for him. They went into his facebook and found some gruesome pictures of him covered in blood and wounds on his head. They have put him on a watch list so he doesn’t run away. They also think he’s part of a gang because it’s not possible for someone to be in states for 3 weeks and have hookups and connections.
To say that his parents and brother are suffering would be a major understatement. They are kind hearted, wonderful people who have done nothing but good to others. We are careful to not let the word get out because most of our extended family live near where they are. At this point, only the immediate family knows and a couple of aunts have gone there to be with them. To find out in a day that your son is doing and dealing drugs, smoking and drinking, part of a gang and that too at the age of 16 is unimaginable. My cousin told me yesterday that you know, I have NEVER seen my parents like this. It’s like they have given up on life. My aunt has been put on anti depressants, she keeps on crying and my uncle almost had a heart attack. None of us know what to do and how to help them. All of us are in denial. Noone in our family would even imagine all this happening. It’s like we never saw this side of that funny, good hearted kid despite of being so close to each other. And now suddenly to find out what he has been doing, it’s just not sinking in.
I would appreciate all your comments and advice, and please keep my family in your prayers. We desperately need them.