At what age do you start to implement values of dressing modestly/wearing hijab etc, into your daughters, that is, if it’s important to you? Is it a “cutoff” point or is it a habit that’s instilled from an early early age? Or another question, if you dress western/dont have problems showing skin…would you let your daughters dress the same?
Some may argue, let kids be kids, but then isn’t it unfair that when they get older they have to suddenly change their ways and they cant understand why?
But then isn’t it unfair to see baby/toddler girls dressed appropriately for wintertime when its summertime outside?
I always wonder how strange it is that simple clothing can be such an issue and why ppl fight over it so much, but I Think dressing a certain way as an adult is different than for children. and, whether we like ti or not, as Muslims, i guess it is an issue, especially when it comes to children. Ideally, adults are armed with the knowledge of what htey should and shouldn’t wear..and thus have the chocie…whereas children need to be taught habits/reasons for certain things.
WHY does it feel like i’ve opened a similar thread before
I think that the right example is set at home. At least this is what I'm seeing with my girls. I don't see my girls having a challenge wearing hijab when they go for Islamic classes at the masjid or wearing regular clothes at school. My older one doesn't feel comfortable wearing short skirts or shorts anymore and that's something she herself told me. So far I haven't had to struggle with setting rules. I guess what I do is a guideline for them.
I think u should raise ur kids well and let them make their own choices as they grow up ..
If I get daughters in the future, iA, i will totally dress them up in pretty dresses and skirts .. they're kids! When they're all grown up they'll know what to wear and what not to.
I remember wearing skirts, dresses and sleeveless shirts as a kid .. I dont think u should worry abt ur babies showing too much skin or not .. they're just kids
A good question / topic, currently me and my hubby are having this discussion, where as he is the protective type, doesnt want her to wear short shorts or even sleevless, short sleeves are ok for him, I want her to enjoy this age, I think till the age of 7 its ok, he thinks it better to raise/train them right from the start, so we are now somehow in the middle, she doesnt wear short shorts but i let her wear shorts till her knees and make sure even at the age of 3 and half, when she is sitting down that her cloths dont expose, what was shocking for me, a girl of 4-5 years in pakistan was wearning a short / with straps type of dress in a shop in pakistan, then she started to pick up her dress, i didnt see it from the front, but some mulvi type of men saw it and were shocked too and pointing fingers at her, i wanted to tell the mom for being so stupid and 'modern' that she forgat what modesty is, i was so embarrassed about it, thank God in pakistan i let my daughter wear these shorts or even capri till knees under her dress, even if she somehow lifts her dress or the sits down or something, she is still wearing a short / capri pant that will not expose certain body parts!
feel sorry for the mother, oh i don'T I feel sorry for the mom but for the mulvis who had to see the baachi in her slip, you know pakistan is a conservative country, even though u have come from some abroad country, is it really ok to dress ur kids in such a manner that it is uncomfortable for the viewers? u have to respect the feelings of others.
AFter a certain age, I think girls in our communty develop a natural sense of "hayaa." 3 is so young to understand anything. But in such cases, moms should be a little proactive.
nilsik i agree, if it had been a 3 year old, i would not have cared, but it was a chubby 5 year old girl ... dont u think the parents should tell her off for lifting her frock in public!
Knowing what I do now, I dont think I would dress my lil girls Inshallah if and when I have any, in short dresses or shorts. You just never know anymore. Pedophiles and creeps may be getting off on seeing your innocent babies dresses all cutesy. If it were normal I think i'd opt for putting my baby in a freakin burqa.
HAHAHAHAHA baby burQa! so cute
but..skittelz…u dont wear hijab right? so if u wanted your daughter to dress conservatively, would you start changing your look as well?
kids do what their parents do. young kids that is.
if dad smokes, kid will think its ok to do so and try it
if mom wears revealing clothing, daughter will think its ok to do so
if neither parent prays, kids wont exactly pick up on it either. its funny when its prayer time, the mom will tell the kid to go pray and continue watching tv herself.
talk bout confusing ure kid.
so if u want ure kid to do it, u better take up on those things first, ureself.
No I’d tell her when she gets married she can dress however she wants in her husband’s home, but under my guardianship and care, she follows the rules of my home. Ok seriously, no I’d definitely tone it down a bit once Im married and stuff but I think that covering up and stuff would be something that’s got to come naturally, I wouldnt do it just because I want my daughter to do that… and to be honest I dont really think I want my daughters to wear hijab at an early age. That’s just me. Just want them to dress appropriately and decent for their age.
BTW I dont agree with those that say that if parents dont do it, kids wont either. I mean yes, kids do generally copy what their parents are doing, but they also form their opinions based on the knowledge they attain and the guidance that is given to them. Nobody and I mean NOBODY in my immediate family or extended family here wears hijab or even a dupatta on their head when going out but my little sister is a full-time hijabi in public and in mixed gatherings, even if its just relatives. Her and my brother are 5 waqt namazis and they really do live their life in accordance to the Quran, as much as is possible anyway. My brother took up hifzing the Quran when he was 15, a time when most of his peers were busy checking out girls and running amuck doing all sorts of wild things. It all depends on the individual.
AFter a certain age, I think girls in our communty develop a natural sense of "hayaa." 3 is so young to understand anything. But in such cases, moms should be a little proactive.
great thread Sara...my daughter is now 8 and since last year she is no longer allowed to wear short skirts without tights, or even sleeveless clothes..
She is now at the age where she understand how a Muslim girl needs to dress...i bought her a top the other day which was short sleeved, she put it on and came up to me and said mum i think you need to take this back its not suitable...i was very proud of her because she realised that the sleeves were a bit too short.
i dont know when would be the right age to wear the hijab...i feel she is too young to wear it, i have seen 5 yr olds wearing it and feel that its unfair..my daughter wears it to Mosque and loves it, but i have not and will not force her to wear it...InshAllah when she is older she will understand the importance of hijab herself and wear it with pride and responsibility.
I think it's very creepy when 3,4 year olds are wearing hijabs full-time. Their moms might argue that this is how a Muslim girl needs to dress or that they don't want their daughter to make a habit of having their hair open. But in my mind, a hijab also marks someone as an adult woman and having a young child look this way regularly looks odd. Similarly with makeup...a 3 year old trying makeup or hijab once in a while is ok, but everyday? very weird. Also if a parent freaks out about an arm showing I think it is damaging for a child....kids don't see things as sexual, so they just get alarmed and feel like they did something wrong.
I agree with niksik that kids will naturally follow their parents as a 'guideline', so the best thing to do is to model the desired dress code.
I think it should be taught at an early age when kids start to understand the concept of what clothing is and how to dress themselves. Like Khawateen said, kids learn from what they see. You can't teach your kid something that you yourself don't do.
If I have a daughter, Inshallah, then I'll have to start around age 5.
I stopped purchasing shorts and short dresses for my girls when they started preschool. They wore capris in the summer after that, and transitioned to pants around middle school. They still wear capris around the house in the summer, but change before they go out. I wear hijab, and my oldest two have asked several times, but I am encouraging them to wait until they are absolutely certain, because it is a permanent decision. I allow them to wear it to school during Ramadan, and we haven't had any issues so far.
It has become so much easier to find modest clothing recently - my oldest loves the maxi dresses that are out now with a cardigan - I just wish I could find more in prints that suit me. Forever 21 makes great lightweight long sleeve shirts that can be layered under anything.
Ok seriously, no I’d definitely tone it down a bit once Im married and stuff but I think that covering up and stuff would be something that’s got to come naturally, I wouldnt do it just because I want my daughter to do that… and to be honest I dont really think I want my daughters to wear hijab at an early age. That’s just me. Just want them to dress appropriately and decent for their age.