Re: Dowry for your kids
my understanding on barri is this
its a must. on one hand you are saying you dont want jahez.. lets count clothes and jewellary has jahez too for a min
so no jahez. meaning the girl goes to the in laws house with not even a pin. just the clothes on her back
now if there were no barri either.. what exactly is the girl to wear once she gets outta teh barat outfit?
in my family… we do a whole lot for a barri cuz our understanding is… the girl is our responsibility once she signs the nikah papers. she MUST have everything to start her life at the in laws house. so our barri even includes a nightwear.. daywear..combs.. toothbrush etc. now its changed a whole lot with girls becoming more hands on where it concerns them plus couples wanting to do stuff together from teh get go… so teh toothbrush etc has been dropped ..
fi teh in laws are saying aap ki beti ab humari hui… well u better put money where your mouth is and show it.
this actually happened to a friend of mine .. the in laws said we wont no jahez at all.. its not done in our family.
so the girl’s family did jack.. nothing other than jewellary for barat and the barat outfit. im not kidding you. NOTHING.
so the girl gets to the in laws house and asks for clothes to change into it. the mil gave her a blank look — the girl had to wear her nand’s clothes for the night and her chappals.
the couple went out first thing in the morning to buy her everything.
which brings me back to jahez ko manna sub kerthay hai… such nahi samajh na .
my thinking on this would be.. if i am saying to my future dil .. do not bring anything witn you… i dont want jahez… then you can bet your ass taht im gonna have my son make sure she has everything she needs to start her life in our home (or his home whichever) .. ahead of time. rest they can shop together etc.
That totally makes sense, but I still think barri is overdone (at least in our area) in terms of jewellery and expensive clothing, which arent necessarily something you absolute must have to begin a new life