So I was watching Dur E Shahwar’s latest episode and these two parts came up which I didn’t understand and they were related to dowry. First was that the sister-in-law was washing clothes by hand and Shahwar comes up asking that there is no washing machine? The sister-in-law says no, but you can take out yours. Confused over here.
Second part is when the mother-in-law asks the brother-in-law to take down the machines on top of other stuff, because they might rust(?). The brother-in-law says that we should ask Bhabhi, name meaning Shahwar, who the drama is about. The brother-in-law doesn’t even finish his question about using the dowry that the mother-in-law starts on him, to do it quickly. And, Shahwar is left standing over there and speaking in her mind that I was going to take the tv and something else with me to my new house, so what will I take now.
Okay, the real question is about Dowry.
You can share it or you can’t share it?
Will it be beneficial for you if you do or life destructing if you don’t? And what exactly is dowry?
I asked my dad about it since my mom isn’t here, and he didn’t explain it much. He just said that it is beneficial for you if you share it, but not why should you share it.
I would like to be against it, by my family says that you in-laws will be expecting this since you are from Dubai, the land of wealth, glamour and wonders.
Isnt dowry derived from hindu tradition?? im sure it is. But its not even that, i just dont like the whole principle behind it. There was a case where a dude refused to marry a girl because the family didnt hand over a flash bmw something like that. Thats how much the girl meant to him. A BMW holds more value to him than his to be wife. Also, dubai is far from the land of wealth and glamour. The so called "glamour" they have built on the backs of labour workers from pak/india and are criminally underpaid. Also dubai is very heavily in debt right now dont know if ur aware of that. Meanwhile thier less glamourous neighbours abu dhabi next door are reporting surplus after surplus
Sad yo..i know this one personally. This guy 34 yrs old now supposedly Harvard graduate and all that. Week before marriage asked for 200,000 worth of jahaiz. He thought..he was gona get lucky but he has been single ever since.
Anyway to answer to ya're question..since i am very against of it so no comments on sharing or no sharing jahaiz.
Isnt dowry derived from hindu tradition?? im sure it is. But its not even that, i just dont like the whole principle behind it. There was a case where a dude refused to marry a girl because the family didnt hand over a flash bmw something like that. Thats how much the girl meant to him. A BMW holds more value to him than his to be wife. Also, dubai is far from the land of wealth and glamour. The so called "glamour" they have built on the backs of labour workers from pak/india and are criminally underpaid. Also dubai is very heavily in debt right now dont know if ur aware of that. Meanwhile thier less glamourous neighbours abu dhabi next door are reporting surplus after surplus
Dowry is derived from Hindu traditions but it's widely prevalent now in the society. I've seen quite a few cases like this too. A dude refused to marry my cousin because she wasn't bringing an obscene amount of gold, countless properties in her name and clothes, household appliances and cash with her. They thought that since she lived in Dubai, she would be filthy rich. So the marriage didn't happen, but her best friend was there to save the day.
I do know about that but the economy is getting back on track. And there is a name associated with Dubai for weird reasons.
I would like to be against it, by my family says that you in-laws will be expecting this since you are from Dubai, the land of wealth, glamour and wonders.
well if they are expecting, then it is greed..............
If you are willing to marry into a family that asks for dowry then you cannot be upset when you're mistreated. Aaj jahaiz manga hai...kal aur bhi mangne kharay hojayengay.
If we get a rishta where it seems the family is interested in dowry, we refuse. Do a girl's parents ask for anything when they give their daughter away? So what makes a guy's family feel they are in a position to ask?
What I don't understand is how its done...I'd like to see it happening with my very own eyes to believe it because I've never witnessed capable people begging for things like that.
"Dekhiye humara beta...iske daant bilkul sahi hein aur aaj tak ek bhi haddi nahin tooti hai...agar ek BMW miljaye to sari mehnat vasool hojayegi"
enter beta flashing his batteesi
My mom gets characters like that on the phone from time to time but I am dying to meet one...just one. :ASA:
It's not just when some one ask for it.
Now it's an understood thing in our society that the new bride at least will bring furniture of her room.plus tv fridge etc.
i have seem many times when boy side says we don't want anything still when u go and see bride and grooms rooms their nothing there and they say
Yea tu dulhan ka kamra hai yeah tu uss ka saman ayey ga.
I also blame girls parents too if boys said that they don't want anything they should ask them so when will u get something in her room. But I don't why the whole shadi process makes girl parent a bit afraid that nothing should go wrong and no one mind anything
I am not sure about the term used in Islam, but giving gifts to a daughter on her wedding is allowed. The only condition is that it should be as per the financial status of the girls' parents and not as per anyone's demands. Whatever gift(s) parents want to give to their daughters at the time of marriage is not forbidden. I don't have references immediately but will be happy to share later. I researched about it during school days.
As for the actual question where the thread was initiated, it depends on the family you go to and the inlaws. There is no formula what will work best. General concept is that if inlaws insist on sharing the stuff you get from your parents and you don't, they'll make you suffer emotionally by taunting and commenting stuff like you don't want to be a part of their family etc.
I think it varies from culture to culture… Some families do this dowry thing where the girl kits out half their house like they’ve waited around half their lives for someone else to come and furnish their property
Then in some cultures a girls hand is only given if the boys family give a certain amount of gold, money and property in her name… I heard of this and it really annoyed me that they base it on the beauty of the girl, so the more beautiful she is the more she gets
I have heard guys families asking for dowry in a dhakay chupy way. E.g. Hum ne apni beti ko ghar set ker k dia us ki shadi per, hum ne apni beti ko gari di shadi per etc etc and thus telling the girls families that this is what is expected when we are marrying your daughter and making her our bahu.
Sick people
Guys families demanding jehaiz is absoloutely wrong. If a girl’s family willingly gives some gifts to their daughter (as their financial status), the guys families should consider these things to be used by the girl only. Forcing her to share things is wrong. Of course, a nice natured DIL will not be narrow minded and will not mind sharing if there is a need. After all, people should be more important than things. So it should be both ways.
Wish people start behaving more maturly and be more generous towards each other.
Dowry itself is not bad. Its a (or it should be a) gift parents willingly giving to their daughter without any demands, without any financial squeezing but its the practice of asking-for-it that is wrong.
If parents have money and they want to give it to their daughter, there is nothing wrong in it but problem is with the people who ask for it or with the people who try to match the jahaiz they see other people giving to their daughter. Its pitty that they never think about girl’s education with that intensity and do everything to match their daughter’s education with other’s.
Jahaiz lanat nahi hai, jahanz mangney waley lantee hain
