Is dowery system really blessing or curse in the sub-continent.
Plz express ur views about this.
My personal view is to eliminate this entirely from the face of sub-continent so poor families also have chance to marry their Dougters.
°°°Name?°°°
If u’wll call me rose,
will i smell like that!
º¤., ¸¸,.¤º¨¨¨¤FeeAmanAllah Guysº¤., ¸¸,.¤º¨¨¨¤
i agree that it shud be eliminated totally from the system..but the prob is this that our ppl won't let it go..they are use to this system and they won't change..no matter how hard u try to change them..
dJ_ArSH
pakbeat.com
ik nazer ke liey umer bher..umer bher ke liey ik nazer..
Well, it's a curse for parents with daughters and a shame for parents with sons who ask for it.
I told my fiance (who was born here), that if your parents ever expected me to bring any dowry with me I'm just gonna tell them that sorry I dont have anything to offer you. And you know what he said. Well he said, "Are you kidding," it's a man who is suppose to give things like that to his bride."
Huh?
How nice to start talking rubbish bout a thing you dont have a clue bout
Dowry basically is helping the new couple start their new lives together
so kuch bartan, kapray and furniture along with thora sa ghar ka samaan is considered a blessing from the parents to their children
Now if people abuse the whole idea behind Dowry then thats another thing to discuss
I still hold close to heart the things i got in 'jahaiz' and 'bari'
and they are the most precious items in our house and i am planning to keep them to show my kids when the grow up
cause they were given to us with love
its a custom totally against the teachings of islam should be abolished from the sub continent especially from Pakistan for being a muslim country.
In Islam The groom is suppose to give dowry to the bride.
For your information people: our religion islam says that it is a man who needs to provide everything to his woman.
And who says that it's a girl and her parents responsibility to get the new couple started with evevrything they will need. Why is the woman always responsible for those things??
Kaya kabhi ladki waloon ne ladke waloon se poocha ke kitne ki gari aur kitna cach de rehe ho???
[This message has been edited by Neera (edited November 05, 2000).]
I may dont have clue but one thing i am sure about that Dowry system is becoming intense burden for poor families especially with several doughters.It was use to few utensils,however now time has changed.
The demands from groom's family are out rageus they have literally long list.
[quote]
Originally posted by Anchal:
*How nice to start talking rubbish.
Dowry basically is helping the new couple start their new lives together
so kuch bartan, kapray and furniture along with thora sa ghar ka samaan is considered a blessing from the parents to their children
*
[/quote]
°°°Name?°°°
If u'wll call me rose,
will i smell like that!
º¤., ¸¸,.¤º¨¨¨¤FeeAmanAllah Guysº¤., ¸¸,.¤º¨¨¨¤
meri post ghor say parho
i said parents
i didnt say larki walay or larkay walay
then i mentioned jahaiz and bari
incase you dont know jahiaz is from the girl's parents and bari is from the guyz parents
And if my memory serves me correctly then Dowry is not NonIslamic
as i said earlier people tend to abuse the system and cause problems
well said sister!
http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/ok.gif
i dont know what she is talking about.
First of all parents are trusting to hand over their beloved doughter to a stanger plus they Expect dowery as well.
isn’t doughter enough ?
Bari menue is much concise compare to jahaiz.
would u really want see the list for bari and jahaiz ?
[quote]
Originally posted by Anchal:
*then i mentioned jahaiz and bari
*
[/quote]
Jehaiz and Bari are something differnet than Dowry.
Dowry is something which the guy's parents demand from the gal's parents, no matter what was the financial status of the gal's parents. There demand was a demand and it had to be fulfilled, if the parents wanted to get there daughters married. Therefore parents would borrow money in order to pay up the dowry, and would then spend up the rest of there lives paying up the debt. Many a times dowry was nothing but hard cash which the gal's parenrts had to pay. Often a times marriages were canceled due, if the gal's parents could not pay the dowry. It is for this reason Islam has strictly forbidden.
On the other hand Jehaiz and Bari are something which both sides give out of their free will depending on their financial status.
Dr Who
http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/ok.gif
I am really glad to hear ur views.
keep is up
°°°Name?°°°
If u’wll call me rose,
will i smell like that!
º¤., ¸¸,.¤º¨¨¨¤FeeAmanAllah Guysº¤., ¸¸,.¤º¨¨¨¤
so Dr Who you agree that its the people to blame not the tradition
when individuals abuse a tradition then they should be held responsible for it instead of throwing mud at such a thoughtful and considerate tradition where the intentions are honest and the emotions are nothing but filled with love
Aik-Masoom-Pari,
I was watching this song only yesterday, and I think the band was "Jazbaa"?
It has Great Controversial lyrics, highlighting the Dowry issue in it's Truest form!!
May be someone can post the lyrics here because my urdu isn't good.
Thanks Pari!!!!
Anchal, it's people who set up traditions. They dont just simply fall from the sky. What I have seen is that gal's parents give Jehaiz out of love and free will. But for many years Jehaiz was demanded buy the guys parents and this practise still continues in our society. Many lives were ruined and continue to ruin. But as time passes by, people are getting educated and hopfully this practise of forcefully demanding Jehaiz will be abandoned.
This tradition is going on for centuries.Now is time for educated generation to come forward and strictly take action to abolish this disgusting custom.
°°°Name?°°°
If u'wll call me rose,
will i smell like that!
º¤., ¸¸,.¤º¨¨¨¤FeeAmanAllah Guysº¤., ¸¸,.¤º¨¨¨¤
Disgusting?
A present given out of love is disgusting
so lets see Pari why not say
'yuck mum thats disgusting' when your parents give you a birthday present
or when you receive eedi on eid make a face and say
'yuck mum you stupid bhudi hanging onto old traditions ...get educated'
Sorry hun but you first have to distinguish between use and abuse
only then can you come to respect whats right and whats wrong
Anchal's intending to fill her daughters houses with loads and loads of presents when they get married
if the larka walay demand stuff by making a list then Anchal is gonna throw them out of the house and let her dogs on them
but ofcourse I dont think my daughters will ever make a bad choice in their men :)
[This message has been edited by Anchal (edited November 06, 2000).]
[quote]
Originally posted by Anchal:
**Disgusting?
A present given out of love is disgusting
so lets see Pari why not say
'yuck mum thats disgusting' when your parents give you a birthday present
or when you receive eedi on eid make a face and say
'yuck mum you stupid bhudi hanging onto old traditions ...get educated'
Sorry hun but you first have to distinguish between use and abuse
only then can you come to respect whats right and whats wrong
Anchal's intending to fill her daughters houses with loads and loads of presents when they get married
if the larka walay demand stuff by making a list then Anchal is gonna throw them out of the house and let her dogs on them
but ofcourse I dont think my daughters will ever make a bad choice in their men :)
[This message has been edited by Anchal (edited November 06, 2000).]**
[/quote]
Anchal what's all this crap!!!
U still have got no idea what me and Pari are talking about. There is nothing wrong in giving something out of love. The fault lies where guys parents forcefully demand, paisa, gari etc, from the gal's parents.
Think about it!!
Aunty did u ever go to school in ur life,your response clearly shows sluggish 18th century mentality.Any body who really possess strong points never attack personally.