Don't you find cousin marriages awkward?

Yes, I had the same kinds of problems. I didn't tell any non-Pakistani that I was married off to my cousin. I told non-Pakistanis that I had met someone myself and that he was someone outside the family. Only years later I could tell them the truth, that he was really my cousin and that it was arranged.

And only now have I finally managed to stop regarding my cousins as brothers. I was difficult to change that view of my cousins, because all my life I was raised with that notion, that cousins are like your own brothers and sisters, so it took me years to stop seeing them as brothers and sisters and only now I've really been able to see them as only cousins and nothing more. Now the incest feeling is completely gone. Since I stopped regarding my cousins as brothers, there is nothing like incest in my life anymore. The marriage I had seems less awkward. But still not nice.