I apologize beforehand for the long post, but I hope you will read and response.
Love. Just by saying it I feel so filmy (and I’m not a filmy dreamy kind of girl), but the fact is, it has happened to me and so comes the problems…
I have met the special one (my family doesn’t know yet) and everything is great, alhumdulliah. We’re both the same age although I feel that I’m older and he’s still young in the sense that for a girl and according to my parents, I should be getting married soon or at least be engaged, but for a guy he’s still young.
The problem is he really wants to join the military, and not just any military, he wants to join the French Foreign Legion. If you don’t know about it, google it. It is not for delicate souls, it is very dangerous and it takes 5 years. I stress that.. 5 years. That means he has to be away for 5 years.
I can either choose to wait for him, which he doesn’t want me to because he knows about my problems with my parents and how much they want to see me married. Or I can wait for him, which I want to. Is that crazy? He was saying that he’ll maybe just stay there for 3 years and desert and he will be visiting 45 days each year. But not only will he be away, I’m also scared of all the risks of him being there, scared of his physical and mental health when he’ll get back(inshaAllah) and of course the risk of death.
I really don’t know what to do. He is just a perfect and down-to-earth and humble human being. I know my parents and family would love him. I’m thinking about telling my elder sister about him, but I don’t want to mention the military just yet, I want her to meet him with an open mind. Is that wrong?
I really want to see my family happy especially my parents. I really respect and care for them a lot and I feel like I’m being very selfish but I just really want to spend the rest of my life with him. Urgh.. am I being naïve?
You don't know what kinds of people you will be in 5 years. You may change the way you feel, and so could he. Also, deserting his post isn't the best idea, if he's going to do that he may as well not join at all.
I think you should approach your parents and ask them for advice. They'll probly say no way, but at least they can speak to his parents and consider options.
He's a medical student right now, but that's not his dream. His dream is the french foreign legion.
He wants to desert because of me. i support his decision because if I had something I wanted to do, a childhood draem, I would have. I'm just still in the process in finding out where he already knows.
He actually doesn't want to desert. He always says that if you want to do anything, do it whole-heartedly. he's only doing it to compromise with me, even though I didn't ask him to.
You don't know what kinds of people you will be in 5 years. You may change the way you feel, and so could he. Also, deserting his post isn't the best idea, if he's going to do that he may as well not join at all.
I think you should approach your parents and ask them for advice. They'll probly say no way, but at least they can speak to his parents and consider options.
But isn't it the same whether he goes or stays? You never know where you will be in the future? If he stays feelings could also change?
We can't tell our parents, because his parents are not happy about him going to military. It would be too much if he tells them now that oh, I also found your future daughter-in-law and you can't say no to that either.
what about the guy - Does He love you more - or - The Army he want to Join ?
Hmm.. he loves the army more than his life.
It's actually not the army but more the physical challenge that the french foreign legion in particular offer. He has his own very special philosophy about that.
Why not join a karatay club. Joining army just for physical challenge seems limiting. Typically army in west is for semi retards with low grades in school.
Why not join a karatay club. Joining army just for physical challenge seems limiting. Typically army in west is for semi retards with low grades in school.
thats quite a stereotype you have there especially because its not true. A lot of armies in most countries require you to have a high school diploma for grunt work and if you want to go for higher ranking jobs you need a bachelors and so on.
He's a medical student right now, but that's not his dream. His dream is the french foreign legion.
He wants to desert because of me. i support his decision because if I had something I wanted to do, a childhood draem, I would have. I'm just still in the process in finding out where he already knows.
Is He thinking of His Dream now !! being a Medical Student
If you are so supporting him to follow his dreams - i suggest you follow his recommendation to Not Wait
if you care for him you should stress that he not join. and if he cares enough for you he will listen to you
then he can tell his parents about you too cos according to you, the reason he couldnt before was because he was joining military, now he isnt.
im a military wife. im telling you, stop him
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We can't tell our parents, because his parents are not happy about him going to military. It would be too much if he tells them now that oh, I also found your future daughter-in-law and you can't say no to that either.
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if you care for him you should stress that he not join. and if he cares enough for you he will listen to you
then he can tell his parents about you too cos according to you, the reason he couldnt before was because he was joining military, now he isnt.
im a military wife. im telling you, stop him
Thats selfish don't you think? You want this poor girl to stop the young man from pursuing his dream because they are in a relationship? They will be plenty of other guys even if she lets go of this one.
The person said karatay though :p
not karate :PP
so it must be something else :D
since he's sooo smart and thinks the people in the military are "semi retards with low grades in school"