Hey girls,
SO I got married last year to a guy who wasa very charming, polite, good job, came from what we thought was a good family. HIs family lives in the same state as us but he lived in another state bcos of his job. We had our nikkah 2 months before the rukhsati and I went to a different state to live with him. When I got there, I found out that he drinks everyday, smokes pot and a month before our rukhsati, he texted his old girlfriend at 2 in the morning that he was only thinking about her and he missed her and wanted to go over to her house. When I confronted him about this, instead of saying sorry,he said that his “friend” did that and not him and got mad at me for snooping around.
His mother is a hafiz quran but lies like there is no tomorrow! SHe caused soo much fighting b/w us. She would complain to him that so & sos bahu calls her everyday so why don’t I? She would tell him not to buy me anything and constantly tellme over the phone that I don’t need such and such thing in my house. She knew everything about him but lied to us. He would get into fights with me and somtimes his mom, come home drunk, break things, yell at me. Once a neighbor called the police but they did not arrest him due to no physical abuse. He kept blacmailing me with a divorce if I ever told anyone.
When I got pregnant, he was so mad at me; told me that I had deceived him (got preg on BC) and did not talk to me until the next day. HIs mom was not happy when she found out and instead told him there is no way I could have gotten pregnant if I was on BC. when I found out that I had had my misscarriage, he left me that evening for 2 hours to go toa bar and I had to go find him because my family was not there with me to comfort me . When my mom called his mom to tell her about it, she told her that I had hurt her feelings and she had given me a “buddua”.
He keeps all his Iphone, blackberry, and computer passwords hidden form me. He had taken all the money out of our joint account and used to put $20-40 on the table every 3 -4 days for me to do groceries and stuff.
We came to visit our families, but his mom did not like me staying overnight at my mom’s house and this time he favored me so after that she became my owrst enemy. BTW, she has been keeping her mom for over 30 years; her parents and her siblings were practically raised by her husband. She isolated her husband from his family, took in all her family and even they are not in good terms with her now that they are well settled.
This guy is very mentally immature, he believes everything his mom tells him, even though he has issues with his mom. My family is confused, He lies about everything, hides everything from me. he and his family change stories so often you don’t know what the truth is. His family goes to the mosque everyday, gives money to the mosque, mom wears hijab, and teaches quran to kids but they are a fraud.
I am currently at my family’s house bcos I am just not sure what to do. What do you suggest?
mujhey roza lagh raha hai