Don't Judge Me!

What’s with all the people out there that are very willing to open up their lives to others and ask for advice yet when it is offered they turn around and say “You have no right to judge me!”

Seriously?

I mean do you honestly believe that you live your life without judgement?
Do you truly believe that?
If yes then you are more naive than you think…

We are judged by others every single day. Just because people don’t tell us what they are thinking doesn’t mean they aren’t thinking it…

sheesh.

Re: Don't Judge Me!

very good question let me think about it ...

Re: Don’t Judge Me!

That is why I do not ask question about relationships , I just give advice.
Although I have many screwed up relationships with lot of people since I do not want to be judged I refrain from asking advise on public forums. :snooty:

Re: Don't Judge Me!

Judge me all you want, but please keep the verdict to yourself

Re: Don’t Judge Me!

:k: A good line I will use it.

Re: Don't Judge Me!

...judge not, lest ye be judged...

Re: Don't Judge Me!

and funny thing is...........the excessive use of the words 'judging' and 'stereotyping' and 'generalization'.............when something goes against their viewpoint......they would bring out all these words while doing the same to the people of 'opposite' views.......

everyone judges,stereotypes and generalizes...(albeit to different extent)...........and people who say they don't........are hypocrites........its just like saying..."i never lied"...

Re: Don’t Judge Me!

read this and wanted to share:

Their are two things which go hand in hand, one is to internalize criticism and the other is judging yourself before judging others. Let’s accept it, No one is perfect, we aren’t angels.

We gotta constantly discipline our soul and most importantly be aware of our actions, because the Angels are writing down, and it don’t stop till your soul leaves your body. Look at yourself in the mirror, ask yourself What kind of a person am I? Evaluate your performance as a believer.

The question for today is do we put ourselves above other people when we approach them. You already know the devil is working hard to kick that pride in us, but that’s a disease of the heart and we gotta work on that Inshallah.

The Prophet saw said: “No one with the slightest particle of arrogance in his heart will enter paradise.”

A man remarked, “But a man likes his clothes to be nice and his sandals good.” The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) said, “Verily, Allah is beautiful and loves beauty. Arrogance is refusing to acknowledge what is right and considering others beneath one.” (Mishkat al-Masabih)

What a beautiful Hadith, to put things into perspective, basically by judging others you energize that pride and start thinking you’re all pious. See the interesting thing about living life as a Muslim is that to reaffirm your faith you gotta ask yourself, Am I living by the Sunnah? Do I follow the commands of Allah swt? If not then how can you expect a return in the hereafter. It’s all relative and we gotta stick to the principles. Remember Heaven or Hell can mean a blink of an eye.

Sayyiduna Ali (Allah be pleased with him) said: ” The world and the hereafter are like the east and west, and the traveler is between them. To the extent that he draws close to one, he distances himself from the other” (Ibid., 647.) So basically make up your mind. Either you go wild right now and suffer in the hereafter or you attain taqwa and have peace in paradise.

Nowadays we have this wildfire spreading in peoples minds that they are quick to judge other people. Not only that, but they also like to spread rumors and if one wants to change they continue to backbite or bring up incidents from the past. As a result this destroys motivation for the individual who wants to change.

Of course it shouldn’t, we should all recognize that we are accountable to Allah (swt) alone and from him we come and to him we shall return. If a believer is making an effort to strive for good and you keep knocking him off the straight path. Then just accept that your the devils advocate.

The reason why I bought this up is because I feel that we might at times be driven with the mentality to point out other’s mistakes and elevate ourselves above others. The bottom line is we don’t know who Allah (swt) loves more. So stamp this Hadith in your heart.

Our beloved Prophet Muhammad (Peace and salutations be upon him) said, “ Should you become eager to mention another’s faults, recall your own. “ (Ar-Rafi)

At the end of it all, we gotta understand when someone tells us something for our own benefit, its to help us. It’s that simple, don’t assume that he or she is trying to put you down, If you do that I promise you will never change. This is something we are all working on to some degree everyday, the better we get the more impact we will see in our life.

May Allah (swt) help us take constructive criticism and give us understanding of the deen and dunya

http://jannah.org/madina/index.php?topic=4777.0

Re: Don't Judge Me!

It's not people judging, it's the way some of them approach it. People here obviously have no heart when trying to give advice.

Re: Don't Judge Me!

i want you to listen when i am crying but dont say that i am crying for a wrong reason, this is what this all means and some times it is annoying.

Re: Don't Judge Me!

if people ask for advice, give your opinion on the subject matter.

if people are turning to you to let out their fustrations and not necessarilty asking for advice, be a good listener and show support.

its having that holier than thou attitude and thinking that you are better than others, and making the other person feel what they are doing and how they are feeling is just silliness, is what bothers me. Everyone has a right to feel what they feel. And then telling others about that person, that subject matter, how they are handling it and what your idea of it all - in my opinion doenst go too well by me either.

Re: Don’t Judge Me!

for those that are not privy to the origin of this thread, please read the below thread:
http://www.paklinks.com/gs/parenting/506864-my-daughter-fancies-her-second-cousin.html

you will see that the OP has expressly asked for advice.

thanks for the post Afshi…it’s great…can you please provide the source so that the author doesn’t end up chasing GS for copyright violation?

Re: Don't Judge Me!

so he judged and she complained... so based on your first post are you trying to say she (heeranjha is he or she ??) has no right to complain and defend??.... do you really believe that you live your life without complaining and defending yourself?? they both merely stated their point of views...their likes or dislikes about eachothers posts...i dont really see how is one different from the other....
...
.. so what is the point of yours this thread??

Re: Don't Judge Me!

Are you saying that you have all the right to judge others just because we judge people all the time? Your argument makes no sense. Honestly, we do not have the right to judge others. Do we really know what life circumstances they have and live through? When two people can experience the same event differently, how can we say, we can understand their lives better than them to judge them? We can't play God.

That is not to say that you accept criminal and immoral activity. You have the right to distance yourself from the activity/people who don't fit within your set of beliefs, but only by recognizing that it's YOU who has a different set of beliefs.

Re: Don't Judge Me!

So if you see someone in trouble and you can see why they're in trouble you wouldn't tell them even if they have asked you specifically for advice?

Re: Don’t Judge Me!

I think what Muzna is trying to say is that if you lay your very private life out on a public forum, understand that you will get all types of views. Some you will like and some you will not. I think bas itna hi kaha hai usney :hmmm:

Re: Don't Judge Me!

Niksik is precisely right about what I am trying to convey.

Absolutely one should not judge.

Absolutely we should offer help and advice. Whether we do it by making that person feel inadequate or without them even knowing that they have learnt something is entirely dependent on how skilled we are in our communication.

By the same token, not everyone is gifted in their communication skills so when you expose yourself to criticism, be prepared to receive it in various formats, some of which may not be pleasant.

Re: Don't Judge Me!

this is the other thing that gets me.......perhaps an entirely different matter.
you see someone you care about that is behaving in a way that will eventually hurt them.......you've seen it happen elsewhere......what do you do? shut up and let them learn when they fall on their face or speak up and try to help them?

Re: Don't Judge Me!

No, you DO tell them. But you don't judge them. You accept for yourself that whatever they are doing, they are doing the best they can, in the best way they know how to. It may or may not be working out, which is why they are asking for advice. Even if they don't take your advice that you believed to be the best thing (which is very annoying, I know, to have someone continuously go through the same issues regardless of all the advice they have gotten).

Re: Don't Judge Me!

Asiey kasiey hop sakta hai? How can you tell that someone is on the wrong path unless you've made a judgement that they are on the wrong path? I thing the word "judge" is being taken to another level.