Re: dont even know how to react
Divorce is the only option. To be fair to the OP I never read that wall of text. As it crit me for 9000 and I died on the spot. Also took instant durability damage!
Re: dont even know how to react
I cannot believe this.
Re: dont even know how to react
If I were you I would never even bother to see his face ever again, he is so sick and two faced, seriously I can't even expalain how disgust im feeling for your husband, your friend is absloutely right, get rid of him and go to london for study and try rebuilding ur life once again. Trust me u don't need so careless, selfish person in your life who didn't even bother to call u once and ask about your health. Why would u waste your whole life for such a sick man.
Re: dont even know how to react
Lowly and two-faced.
You'll be in my prayers. I hope you'll find a way to not sell yourself short.
Re: dont even know how to react
As per Life1 standard fomat...
Divorce........ any other action would mean you are not a normal woman.
Nomi, why do men think a girl has to just plod through it all?
Do you have children? Personally, I'd go back and live in the home you'd always lived in - make it his and his new wife's problem to adjust to you, not the other way around.
I would do that but I don't think OP is in that position right now.
Why don't you take a few days and think about things first? Nothing will change in a couple of days and you need to plan out what you will do.
Your son needs his mother...you should try to get to him first.
Re: dont even know how to react
This is royally messed up. Only thing I can say is I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers...
Re: dont even know how to react
I'm sorry, that's all I can say :(.
Re: dont even know how to react
Get treated and build up your confidence. You're not the only one who doesn't have any family. There are others as well. Just because you don't have any parents, it doesn't mean that you're weak. Seek support from your friends. I would get out of his house right now and go to a friend's home. The house or "gift" is his way of compensating for his disgusting behavior. And you have a child! Children often prove to be the source of strength for a parent! When you're well, then decide if you want to move on- whether that means continuing with your marriage or leaving him. Just know that you have options.
Honestly, I don't see how anyone can stay in a marriage like that. Yeah, the guy can get married again. But the way he went about it sounds like infidelity to me.
Re: dont even know how to react
Mehroze I am so sorry to read about what you are going through it's painful really painful and last thing you need is people telling you that you must be doing something wrong and thats why he decided to get married as these decisions don't happen in one day. Really what he has done is so sick and mean and there is nothing in this world that can justify his acts.
Don't take a hasty decision at this stage think wisely even if it means putting yourself through some undesirable situations. You said you don't have family , seems like u r not working also & you have a son to take care. Don't leave your house no matter how angry you are feeling make good use of the assets you have right now. Take time to heal , spend time with your son believe me your son only has a father on papers just think of yourself as the only parent that your son has and you need to become strong for your son. Live in your house like an owner , demand your rights and take them , work on yourself , establish yourself and make a life for yourself. Do whatever it takes to make yourself strong if you want to go and get a degree do it , if you want to work do it . Set a timing for yourself if you want to mourn then mourn and move on , if you want to sympathise with yourself then do it and move one but don't stuck yourself in any state of mind. It will take time , it can take months and even years but I promise you that if you will try hard then you will get over with this. Don't divorce him but don't be his wife too like I said just make good use of whatever you have right now and when you become strong and independent then take any step u want to take.
Just control yourself and control your emotions , get a hold on your mind and take charge of your life.
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"i find everyday so hard to even live i have cut off with everyone as in friends as they were mutual friends and i fear what if i hear about his wife and how happy he is i mean i cant face it i am the most unluckiest person ever i am left with nothing i have a baby boy but due to my illness he was living with MIL and is still there"
Granted they are nutual friends. I am sure your husband still keeps in touch with them. So should you. Why would you want to lose friends on account of his actions? Maybe some of them are more your friends than his - lean on those for emotional support.
Yes - you may hear abt his wife from friends. But I think true friends will not torture you with those details. Use that as a criterion to choose which friends to hang on to.
You need to continue your treatment. Maybe after 2-3 months, you will be ready to get your baby to live with you.
Secure your financial independence legally. Do not be dependent on him.
Heal yourself, and in 3 months, I will say a few choice words abt your husband to get a smile out of you - and I promise you, I will do it at the risk of getting banned!
May God bless you and give you some peace.
I am so sorry abt wat happened.
You should move on too. Use his money start career for yourself than leave him. I dont believe in being part time wife. If he had feelings or respect he should have told you and handled situation better.
You are alone, he is not with you and ur mil isnt too. Than do your self a favour, be strong and take steps. Dont waste yourtime.
Re: dont even know how to react
Fake
Re: dont even know how to react
Your daddy needs to cancel your cable.
Re: dont even know how to react
Mehroze, I don't know quite your previous stories, but keep in mind that you can't lose it. You have a little boy to take care of and he needs you. I say pack your things and head out to a different country. Go to your freinds in London, you are really young so please don't ruin you life. You have an opputuinty and hold it. Allah sometimes puts us in such places where we see no way out, but keep in mind that our plans might go wrong but HIS plans are always right. He has something better or equal to what he has taken away from us. Start a career, be an independent mom and teach you little boy right.
Re: dont even know how to react
do you want to be happy? sad? or satisfied? with your life???
if you want to be happy, leave everything that reminds you of him. sell all his property, everything and start the new beginning. dont think of him, burn every memory, never look in your past. dont even have the slightest hope that what if he comes back...cuz even if he comes back do you wish to forgive him??? and the worst, do you want to live with him???
if you want to be sad, seek revenge. for that you need to plan, strategize your every move. it will require a lot of money, time and power/resources. but then what u gonna do after all your hardwork, he is on the footpath and begging you for forgiveness??? dont forgive him and let him rot with his actions
but if u want to be satisfied with your life...give him a call from private number and give him all the galian u know. sell everythign u possess that reminds u of him and leave the country. start fresh. meet someone new
ps. dont kill urself over someone who treated u like a dirt. ur death wont bring any tears to anyone's life cuz u haven't achieved anything in life.
ps2. understand the meaning of life cuz that is the reason he left.
Re: dont even know how to react
yes i live in Pakistan. with no option i meant i was so shocked and emotional i thought if he is happy with it what can i even do. a lot of our friends were calling me and asking is the news even correct it was more like a secret marriage his mum was involved the only thing i have is a house **my servants are my family **and lots of money which is of no use i called a friend in london she said u should just come here and start studying make a career as you are stil young im just 25 years old and bla bla buti find everyday so hard to even live i have cut off with everyone as in friends as they were mutual friends and i fear what if i hear about his wife and how happy he is i mean i cant face it **i am the most unluckiest person **ever **i am left with nothing i have a baby boy **but due to my illness he was living with MIL and is still there
I had read this post a few times to make sure I was reading it right.
Soo.....you don't consider your son as your family? Your son's existance doesn't mean anything to you since you stated you're left with "nothing"? Do you plan on being a mother to this child anytime soon? Or do you want him raised by your MIL?
Look....I will say this again even though it might come across as being mean and uncaring. You really need to get out of this self-involved/self-pity thing you're going through. I will repeat....what your husband did was awful. But on the flip side....depending on how long you've been going through this "illness"....perhaps over time....he decided he missed having a wife. Perhaps he wanted/needed a mother for his son.
Unfortunately you're really not in a position to keep playing the role of victim for too long. People around you (including your son) will move on with their lives.....with or without you. CHOOSE to join them! You've already lost your husband to a 2nd wife. If you have any interest in your son at all.....I strongly suggest you start being a mother to your son (emotionally AND physically) before the 2nd wife makes an effort to build that motherly bond with him.
Re: dont even know how to react
I am so sorry to hear that. :( You need to move on tho, get education and become independent.
Re: dont even know how to react
From your previous posts, it seems like you do suffer from depression and perhaps on some level this was building up for quite a time given how you yourself stated (in previous posts) that you were treating him.
From your previous posts, it also seems like you have/had a lovely rship with your MIL. U need to have a conversation with her and him both individually and together and get your facts straight as to why and how this happened.
And your primary focus needs to be yourself first and your son. You have been advised many times to seek professional help for whatever emotional and psychological issues you have. You need to break out of this cycle of self doubt and mistrust in others as well for your son's sake, whatever other steps you take in your future ie separation or not.
Best of luck to you. May Allah help and guide you.
Re: dont even know how to react
So, from all that I guess you got the house right? So. not so bad as you always can get a new hubby.
Seriously, if it isn't a bollywood drama then why are you on this forum talking to strangers about it?
Re: dont even know how to react
hi everyone thank you for giving me your suggestions his lawyer came to see me regarding some property papers thing so i said to him look its happened i have tried contact with MIL but she seems to avoid my calls i just want my son i have excepted that my husband acted like a jerk but that boy is my child and all that i am left with he said look i get paid by your husband but my advise is that if you force him by giving your boy back it wont take a min for him to drag you to court and prove you mentally unwell and also financially dependant on him so obviously the court wont hand over the boy to you. its painful but to avoid more trouble please just accept what he has given you and live with it. i just hope Allah helps me and listens to me just once