okee…
wht do u ppl think abt domestic violence…is it ok to use it on ur kids so tht they r on the right path…
does a “slap” come in domestic violence…
Re: domestic violence
Only once or twice I smacked them on the bum, for safety issues like playing with electricity or glass.
See the thing is I have girls so it's a totally different story. One cannot hit a daughter (maybe other people but not me). In house my wife disciplines them. and man is she dangerous.
Re: domestic violence
lol @ "my wife is dangerous…
heehee
sooo…do u think smacking them comes in domestic violence…
Re: domestic violence
No I do not consider it abuse but these were the only times I spanked them. And I felt very bad afterwards. I love to spoil them.
Re: domestic violence
hmm...yeah all dad's spoil there girls.......even my mama tells tht to my dad.....she's likee..."aap isko bigaar rahay hain"...heehee...........& well i am a spoilt child.........
Re: domestic violence
^My only response to my wife is why not? Tum ho na sudharne kay liye.
Re: domestic violence
lol…cute…my abbu jaan only smiles & gives me kiss on the forehead…heehee
Re: domestic violence
Umm I think you have probably misunderstood discipling your kids with "domestic violence"
Domestic Violence is a serious issue where a spouse or parent is bullying/taunting the other by using physical (or emotional) abuse.
As for disciplining kids...it may be necessary....but it loses effect after a certain while...also you as a parent would probably feel ashamed afterwards. You are better off reasoning with your kids...in the long run this has a better effect.
Light Bearer you say you have girls so dont discipline them seriously...have you considered if they were boys would you then have spanked them? Or would you still find it difficult?
Re: domestic violence
If I had boys possibly I would have been little strict than now.
Re: domestic violence
lol i see discipline being misunderstood as domestic voilence here :)
lol ... yup dads are strict with boyz :pme ki bhi sis ko koi kuch nai kehta :p
Re: domestic violence
…lucky sis…n beychaaraa uu…
Re: domestic violence
I cannot understand how anyone can make light of a serious issue like domestic violence. Emotional or physical intimidation of ANY sort is violence. Domestic violence occurs so often in desi society in des as well as overseas, amongst the illiterate as well as the educated who should know better. It is always swept under the carpet as something that never happens! RIGHT!!!!!
I know better, because I volunteer for a womens organization and work with women and children who have suffered horribly. The incidents would make your hair stand on end. And it is so common. People you would never imagine could be intimidated, even well earning professional women call needing genuine help.
Re: domestic violence
Perhaps it is because boys and girls are not treated equally from childhood that domestic violence even occurs when they are adult and should know better.
If harsh punishment is all the boys know, that is the only way they know how to deal with conflict in thier own marriages.
Girls have had no exposure to this kind of harshness. They have no idea how to cope when they face it. They do not even realise that they should not be treated badly. Since childhood they see that girls and boys have been treated differently, they do not even question why girls hold so little power. They often just accept that they will be intimidated by a man in a household who does not have any idea how to resolve conflicts.
If girls and boys were treated fairly and equally, it would create a level playing field and ensure that both sexes can be empowered people in future relationships.
Re: domestic violence
no one should accpt such behavior from their spouse. and it should be dealt with at the community level, to address it effectively.
Re: domestic violence
There will be a problem dealing with it at community level...Most communities' decision makers are men....who mostly are the cause of the violence...or they don't know how to address the issue and so try to ignore it. As so rightly said even professional and educated people are victims of domestic violence...how would a professional woman who is well respected in her circle come out and say she is being abused by her husband. Very difficult. The only thing is to deal with it at the childhood level for long-term results. A child who was always punished physically by his/her parents will have a bigger chance of abusing as an adult. We are now unable to reason with our children bcos we don't have the time or patience that it takes to do so. We are too busy.....make time for your kids and they will reward you when your time comes to need them.
Re: domestic violence
Got it a few times when we were little.
It's neccesary sometimes but should only be used as a last resort, there's a thin line between discipline and abuse so be mindful of that and don't hit them where it's dangerous like on the face.
Re: domestic violence
i think a lot of us got that kinda treatment when we did something wrong :p especially the eldest ones :D
times have changed, and i don't think it's as socially acceptable to hit your kids anymore.
when mom/dad would take out the balna, you knew it was serious stuff, and you didn't try to pull something stupid like that again.
but kids these days, especially when they're being taught that abuse is wrong in any shape or form, they just might call up 911 when their parents do something like that. and well, who knows where that would take you.
but no, it's not right. there's always other ways you can deal with the situation instead of smackin' your kid.
Re: domestic violence
true, the research and case studies point that out what u have said.
but, even wording of how u call out the victim, and lay the blames and miss-align the contentions, can impact the issues of DV, given the lee-way which the neglecting attitude or the hush-hush attitude within the community, allows indirectly to make DV an accepted fact of life.
that is why i stated that at the community level.
in mosques, in family gatherings, in courts, in colleges and schools, at the doctor's office, in the work place, with trusted decent people, counsel must be extended to and available to the receptive minds, who would like to either take the right course of action as the suffering party, or as the oppressor and violent spouse, could hear out from others, that what he/she is doing is unacceptable and has grave repercussions for the health and well being of long term family relations and stability.
Re: domestic violence
Despite the seriousness of the question, it reminds me of a joke.
One man to another in a bar who had big dark circles around his eyes, "Hmmm.. Domestic violence??"
The other man, "No! My father is a Panda".
Yes! I know! SORRY!!
Re: domestic violence
hmm.........