my fiance and i are in love,but often im always there for him,he never treats me badly
its my fault,i got very insecure and read that i should play hard to get,maybe it works for some girls,but in my case,i have an emotional fiance,after four days of slightly ignoring him (but not intentionally or being rude) he became depressed,didnt chase me,just became depressed.
i feel so bad,i love him and im so scared of giving my feelings complete to someone and having them broken,thats why i can never do that,i know im scared of being hurt,but i dont know what to do to make him ok.
Re: does playing hard to get works??
just dont ignore him next time .... SIMPLE!!!
Re: does playing hard to get works??
Every individual is different but the key is communication (I think). Instead of just playing games with each other, why don’t you guys talk it out and sort things instead of you ignoring and him getting depressed over it.
Also read this thread by ekumunng. it might help :biggthumb: http://www.paklinks.com/gs/life-and-relationships/628671-40-things-that-pakistani-men-hate-to-hear.html
Re: does playing hard to get works??
Ya know as they say..you play hard to get only when you know you will get something out of it. Playing hard to get attitude is definately not for fiance or spouse relationships.
Re: does playing hard to get works??
dont even understand the first post. :\
Re: does playing hard to get works??
^ her relationship was fine until she read (prolly in Life1 or Cosmo) that she ought to play hard to get. She followed this pearl of wisdom so well that her fiancé became depressed. Now she doesn't know how to make him un-depressed. And she feels really bad about it.
OP, what I don't understand is why do it if you are already engaged to the guy. I thought the whole point of playing hard to get is to win the guy, and you had already done that. :\
The girls who play hard to catch with good, eligible, handsome guys often end up with some butt ugly loser, because by the time they realized that hard to catch does not work, in fact often result in repulsive feeling in the guy, it's too late and the eligible guy has moved on, already.
Re: does playing hard to get works??
you should try it ONLY if you are prize worth it......;)
Re: does playing hard to get works??
you should try it ONLY if you are prize worth it......;)
That's what I was going to say too. ;)
Interestingly, I was just on the phone with someone and gave her advice to play hard to get, since she was depressed he was not reacting the same way anymore.
But I must add it is a tricky game. It may backfire even if someone is seemingly worth.
Just like in flying a small airplane in windy situation or driving fast in busy traffic, one has to react/counter act quickly to avoid disaster, people need to act differently when relationship is on head on collision and change the strategy.
Re: does playing hard to get works??
Basically, there is not one solution for all situations and not one solution for all people.
Re: does playing hard to get works??
relationship advice to namehram womenz - a-ok! pumpkin carving - nono…
Re: does playing hard to get works??
Relationship advice to na-mehram is not haram. 
Forget about just relationship,…I can even give sexual advice to a na-mehram my frand…and it will not be haram. 
Re: does playing hard to get works??
Thanks so much zmfor responding!! Thank you. I read that boys like the chase a little bit.do u then think i should maintain some distance on my part to protect myself because he got happy as usual but lately it seems he diesnt like me any more.what do u guys think.?
Re: does playing hard to get works??
Relationship advice to na-mehram is not haram. :D
Forget about just relationship,...I can even give sexual advice to a na-mehram my frand...and it will not be haram. :)
Im not being physical with him,just held hsnds sometimes.but he wants to kiss and romance which makes me think he's done this before and is not a virgin..
Re: does playing hard to get works??
I read that boys like the chase a little bit.do
Maybe but did it occur to you that this whole idea of "playing hard to get" with a guy who you're engaged to is ridiculous? That concept may work for situation where a guy has a crush on a girl but doesn't know for sure how she feels……BUT What's there for "chase" in your situation? You two are already engaged. You have already agreed to marry him. It's very clear to him that you are in love with him.
You yourself wrote that he's in love with you and never treats you badly. Then why on earth do you want to create tension in the relationship by playing childish mind games? Do yourself and your fiancé a big favor…..work on your insecurities and learn to communicate. If you have a problem with your he's treating you (ie. you feel like he's not paying attention to you or whatever) then simply TALK to him.
Re: does playing hard to get works??
Im not being physical with him,just held hsnds sometimes.but he wants to kiss and romance which makes me think he's done this before and is not a virgin..
You don't have to agree with me, just an advice:
I have no idea what background you two have so it may not apply whatever I say.
Do not go too far especially if he is from east.
You are engaged, not married.
You do not have to do what married couples do at this stage.
You have a risk of losing your 'respect' and 'honor' in future if you go too far in early stage.
Playing hard to get like I said is tricky but going too far is even more harmful in early stage.
Don't worry about him not being virgin unless you take a man's virginity seriously enough to break the engagement.
In that case go ahead and break it now.
Otherwise It will only cause your mind polluted with no good end result.
Re: does playing hard to get works??
The girls who play hard to catch with good, eligible, handsome guys often end up with some butt ugly loser, because by the time they realized that hard to catch does not work, in fact often result in repulsive feeling in the guy, it's too late and the eligible guy has moved on, already.
I've noticed this too. Usually, the guy figures out that the girl is playing "hard to get" (because men aren't as dumb as women's magazine's make them out to be) and is put off by the immaturity of it. Playing hard to get is childish and rather pointless as most guys can see right through it. If you are genuinely interested in someone, what is the point of pretending that you aren't interested?
Re: does playing hard to get works??
Im not being physical with him,just held hsnds sometimes.but he wants to kiss and romance which makes me think he's done this before and is not a virgin..
do you even have a fiance? i have my doubts now. -___-
Re: does playing hard to get works??
You don't have to agree with me, just an advice:
I have no idea what background you two have so it may not apply whatever I say.
Do not go too far especially if he is from east.
You are engaged, not married.
You do not have to do what married couples do at this stage.
You have a risk of losing your 'respect' and 'honor' in future if you go too far in early stage.
Playing hard to get like I said is tricky but going too far is even more harmful in early stage.
Don't worry about him not being virgin unless you take a man's virginity seriously enough to break the engagement. In that case go ahead and break it now.
Otherwise It will only cause your mind polluted with no good end result.
it's a rare time that i agree wiht diwana, but this I agree with. Hell, even if he's from west/east/north/south/whatever... there's no reason to go too far in being physical before marriage. fullstop.
Re: does playing hard to get works??
Don't play hard to get. You already got him - you're engaged.
And don't be clingy either.
Just be normal ok? You're going to marry him, so just be yourself.